My First Boyfriend

This is my very first boyfriend (I was 15) and his wife.  I usually do not post personal photos, but this one is floating all around cyberspace and it's a public pose meant to be seen and distributed.  Believe me, the more people see this the happier he is.

He wants to show all of his old girlfriends what we are now missing.

I know for certain that a life with him would have been void of beer, pizza, and wine which is MY LIFE FORCE.  Not only that, when doing laundry, I would never want to confuse my man's underwear with my own.  Instant deal killer. 

Well, ex-boyfriend, glad you're happy.  I'll see you at the rural county graveyard years from how when I'm still kicking and you're six feet under.  I'll lift up my house duster dress and expose my support hose and granny underwear -- just like that scene in the movie "Nebraska."

In the meantime, I suggest toning down the tanning bed usage.  Raccoon eyes from a fake bake do not photograph well.

p.s.  My daughter read my blog and asked, "Which one is the guy?"

Go Fund Me

"Go Fund Me" should bear the title "Go f*** Me."

Are you serious?  Have people no shame?  Is every single life event now a fundraising opportunity?  We have cut to the chase, people.  Never mind the obligatory ceremonies and parties that just extract from the overall profits people hope to reap for the life event.....just contribute *MONEY* directly to "Go Fund Me."

Am I the only one appalled by this glorified form of panhandling?

I do not mean to insult those who are genuinely trying to share life milestones and want you present to celebrate.  Not every wedding invitation/party invitation/announcement is a summons for money -- but it's getting mightily close.   A dead give-away is mention of a gift registry, Go Fund Me website, or any hint of expectations of you bringing your wallet to said event.... collecting a sort of cover charge, if you will. 

Real friends do not expect you to bring your wallet or give shopping instructions for their own gifts.  Real friends will share their joy and want you to participate, but do not demand nor instruct payment. 

Batman and Robin

There are kindred souls out there who can cut through bull like a hot knife going through butter.  There is one guy I work with who sees through all and calls it like it is.  God bless him.  Also, his sense of humor is witty, quick, and animated.  Yes, he is Italian.

I've worked with him for 26 years.  I went to his wedding, his father's funeral.  I also rescued his mother out the ladies room at a high-end restaurant in Monterey when I was 5 months pregnant as she was so drunk she passed out in the stall.  I've also shared sleeping quarters with his mom and dad in Chicago when their hotel reservations got screwed up and *nothing* else was available (no, NOT kinky -- get your mind out of the gutter). 

I've also been to New Orleans with him and his wife and did the 'vampire tour' as the cheesiness was irresistible.   During the same trip he also joked about his wife's bead collection.  in 1994 we went to Las Vegas for a convention and attended a faux Beatle concert and he made wise cracks during the entire performance.

Yes.... ANYBODY would say this guy is fun to be around.   I have not even mentioned his stories about his Marin City adventures that include a black guy and his sausages.  

I can see all you personnel-types squirming trying to figure out how this all fits into the "employee handbook" and wondering how this is written up in my job description.   Good Luck. 

Anyway, what made me laugh yesterday was his wearing a Batman t-shirt to a meeting.  His name is Robin. 

Pierced and Tattood

Hot summer evenings draw people out of their homes and into social outings.  I am at the age where I can hang with the younger crowd and not look out of place, or I can hang with old farts.  I guess that makes me bi-social. LOL

Last night was a night out with the younger crowd.  It was hotter than Hades so that meant I wore a spaghetti top and a tasteful-for-my-age knee length skirt.  You know some regret is already brewing in the minds of the pierced and tattooed 20-30 somethings when they compliment and elder on having gorgeous, silky looking skin. 

I guess I'm a novelty and a rarity as I was curiously looked at like a zoo animal.  I'll take COUGAR!

Music at Restaurants

Sonoma County has tons of live music at cafes, restaurants, and other dining establishments and bars.  It's getting more and more common, but like anything else, it's a doube-edged sword.

There is a pizza place I like to frequent.  Generally, I like the atmosphere and the people.  It's a teeny-tiny space where the wait staff need to squeeze between patrons and tables to do their jobs.  It's a small, intimate space.

The LAST thing needed is a band to set up in the corner, monopolizing precious dining space,  and use the dreaded AMPLIFIERS and MICROPHONES.  WHY DO MUSICIANS THINK THEY NEED TO HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THEIR MUSIC?   FORGET HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU.  SHOUTING IS NEEDED TO ORDER ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE OR BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DID YOU SAY???  PLEASE REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TERRIBLE COVER OF SONGS COMPLETE WITH SCREECHING OFF-KEY VOCALS, OUT OF TUNE SAX PLAYERS AND OUT OF SYNC ELECTRIC GUITARS!!!!!!! 

...whew... i'm exhausted after all that.  can't wait to pay my tab and GTFO.

Hotdish

The basic, beloved Minnesota Hotdish.  This recipe came from one of my elementary school lunch ladies.  My BFF from home, JLB, actually saved it as it was printed on the back of an elementary school lunch menu circa 1972.  I've tweaked the recipe a little to adapt to my tastes, but you all get the idea.  My only problem is finding "kluski" in California -- not enough Polish and Slavic people in the community to warrant that section in the grocery store.  Kluski is to Poland as pasta is to Italy.  I just substitute egg noodles, but it would be waaaaaaaaay more fun to actually find kluski in the grocery store packaged as such. 

Thank you, JLB, for bringing back a fond taste of childhood.  You're not even Polish!!  LOL

City Council Meetings

Have you ever attended or watched a city council meeting start to finish?  I think suicide hotline phone numbers should be ticker-taping along the bottom of the video feed for viewers. 

Really.

Watch a city council meeting.  It's a parade of egos and self-interests.  Still, the common denominator is that here, in bucolic Sonoma County, people want to come in and build and develop like crazy.  Those already here do not want them. 

Why do not we want newcomers?  Because people are a pain in the ass.   Less is better.  They will only come here from Marin, New York, or wherever, and start whining, complaining, and demanding.  They will produce whiny, demanding offspring and the cycle continues. 

I totally understand why episodes of Game of Thrones features gruesome scenes of killing pregnant women, children, and other perceived innocents.  You have to kill them before they kill you.  The ruthless, strategic military general in me wants me to start with the "bored moms on prozac." 

There are two types of newcomers wanting to come to Sonoma County.  One group wants to build McMansions, clog traffic, cause problems, and have loads of kids.  The other group wants to enter illegally, have loads of kids, cause problems, and clog traffic.  The difference between the two groups is nil.