Generation X versus Millennials: Voicemail

 I could rant for hours on the generational differences; however, it will get me nowhere with the younger crowd as they always think they are so hip and worldly.  Just wait millennial, your turn is coming.  Some day YOU will be the old fart complaining about the lack of respect received from the subsequent generations.

Here's one thing that drives me NUTS about millennials - they do NOT listen to their voicemails.  They don't even really use email.  Don't bother leaving a voicemail for a millennial.  They will return your call, eventually, and make you repeat everything you already stated.  Sometimes, because Generation X is older, some details get left out from the voicemail we took time to articulate, and we forget to include when we finally get a call back from a millennial that could be of consequence.  I always tell millennials to listen to the voicemail I left them.  They never do.  Because they are the "'victim" generation, it's all my fault.  They are never responsible for anything. 

Another thing they do not do is write thank you cards for freely given generosity nor RSVP for an event.  They think parties take no planning whatsoever and that food magically appears in the appropriate quantities specifically for their benefit.  They will tell you they are coming to a party and then not show up.  There will be radio silence from an issued invitation and then show up with four (uninvited) of their friends along with a hyper dog. 

Generation X will get even with the millennials.

In a few short years I will show up at dinner time unannounced with my friends, complain that food options served are not gluten free, and let my hyper dog jump and piss all over their furniture.  After dinner I will leave a pile of dirty dishes in their sink and slip out without saying goodbye nor thank you. 

Tolkien: Middle Earth Wedding

My son is an avid Tolkien fan.  Back when he was in elementary school, I recall sitting on the couch in the front room after dinner reading The Hobbit and also Lord of the Rings to out loud to him.  Mind you, my son is dyslexic.  His intellect far exceeded his reading ability at the time.  My daughter, being considerably younger, would just snuggle up to my side with her purple Barney and a blanket when it was time to read and fall off to sleep with her head on my lap.  The dog and the cat would also come into snuggle for story time.  The dog would be at my feet and the cat would be on my shoulders.  I would also invent different voices for the different characters in the Tolkien stories.  I'm not sure if I was doing it correctly or not, it's just something I did.

When my son got to high school he connected with other Tolkien fans in his peer group.  My son engaged with those who had intellectual curiosity and were willing to explore it.  Yes, the was the Dungeon and Dragons type who also attended regional renaissance faires along with his troupe in character, and held LAN parties in our garage while hacking into computer systems just for fun.  

No, my son was not average by any means.  He was always asking deep questions.  I'll never forget when he was five years old and we were driving south bound on Highway 101 in Rohnert Park.  He asked me, "Mom, if God loves everybody does God love the devil, too?"

Sigh.

However, just ask him why he did not turn in his homework or why he did not clean his bedroom?  That, my dear friends, is another story all unto itself.  No wonder I'm gray and dye my hair and consume the amount of wine that I do.  

I'm getting off track.  The title of this blog is Tolkien:  Middle Earth Wedding.

Back when my kids were in high school, I was shocked at how many of them were practically orphaned at age 15.  Many of the kids' parents had split.  In these orphaned kids'  lives Dad abandoned the family for a new girlfriend 1/2 Dad's age.  Mom went on a quest to fulfill her higher self - abandoning her kids for the white-robed, spiritual guru who lured her to India to seek total consciousness - the price was a stake in Mom's divorce settlement portfolio (eyes on the Maui condominium that was awarded Mom in the divorce proceedings).  

Meanwhile, Dad and Mom's kids were looking for a place to hang out while they sorted out their own teenage sh**.

That place was my place.

Yes, I kind of resented dad who had to get his ego stroked by girlie 1/2 his age while the teenage kid he already fathered was at my house contemplating suicide.

Yes, I kind of resented mom who took off to India for three months to find images of Ghandi etched in mountain stones on the sacred walk to the fountain of All-Who-Knows a world away while her kids were on my living room floor retching their guts out from bad booze they got at the cornfield maze.  

I'm getting WAAAAAAY off track.

Where I'm going is that I was invited to a wedding of my son's friend from high school who got married yesterday.  Her wedding was all Tolkien as she was a friend of my son in high school and beyond.  Everything for her Tolkien themed wedding was hand-made including her wedding dress.  Long story short, she was one of my "orphans" of yesteryear.

I was honored when she introduced me to her new husband and said that I helped her through some very dark times during her teen years and acted as a mom to her.  

The wedding was beautiful.  I was more than happy to have provided food for it.  It's my love language.  If I cook for you, that means I love you.  

Her wedding was filled with love.  It was done in a public park on a shoestring budget, but that is what makes it all the more meaningful.  Love you, KR.  Wishing you a lifetime of happiness for you and your man.  

p.s. your cake cutting with Sting was original and something I will never forget.  It was also original that you personally served each and every one of your guests the cake.  

 

 

 

Mothers' Day

I wish us moms got more than just one day a year.  LOL.  Hey, us mothers will take what we can get.  Being a mother means you put yourself behind your kids.  The kids come first.  Wait.  I should rephrase that.  The family comes first.  Once that first kid is born your life will never be the same.  It's all real at that point.  This little, defenseless creature depends on you for each and everything it needs.  The creature you created will depend on you for many years to come - say decades - say your entire lifetime.  

You never stop being a mother.

One of the biggest gifts I received today was from my son, who told me that as he is nearing age 35 he is realizing that the advice I gave him years ago was legitimate and it's too bad that he did not take heed at a younger age.  He dissed my advice because he thought it was BS because it came from MOM.  Here's a secret to you moms out there.  Get somebody else to tell your kid what you want to say to them because if it comes from MOM it will automatically go in one ear and out the other.  This is what aunts and uncles are for. 

The other big gift was from my daughter.   She considers me her best friend and confidant.  My relationship with my daughter is nothing like the relationship I had with my mother, so I'm still trying to unpack that.  My mother was too busy with all of my siblings to even notice my existence let alone to actually have a relationship with her.  Real truth.  I did now know my real name when I went to kindergarten.  My daughter actually wants to hang out with me?  What?  She tells me everything!  To this day I don't think my mother knows 1/100 of who I am.   Such relationship whiplash from my perspective.  I'm grateful my daughter tells me what she does.  I'm also grateful my mother is still alive.  I will continue to try to build a deeper relationship with her.  The worst thing that can happen is nothing.