Growth in Sonoma County

 The biggest complaints these days are about growth in Sonoma County - especially from those who just moved here.   These newcomers want to close up the drawbridge - of course after they are on the side of the castle.  

It just kills me that those who are complaining about growth did not grow up in the area nor attended an area high school.  They all moved here from somewhere else.  Yet...there they are acting as though they are protectors of the environment proclaiming protection of the environment such as the one-eyed-snake, the horny-owl, and the like to keep others out.  

These people make me want to puke.  Just say it as it is.  They moved here from somewhere else, and now they don't want anybody else to move here.

The only people who have a right to be pissed off about growth are the Miwok natives of the area.  They don't give a (blank) about architecture from the 1850's fitting into our new downtown developments.  

Truth be told, the Miwoks lived along the creek where our house now resides.  Every member of our household has experienced a confused native from long ago wandering through our house trying to make sense of our modern conveniences.  They can't comprehend our lifestyle and why we have so many modern conveniences.  

There is a place along the creek where all the dogs we've ever had  stop, whine, and retreat.  I suspect it's a spot of battle ground where things did not go well for either side.  I sense there was a death of both native american warriers who were fighting about hunting rights. 

Nostalgia

 I'm feeling nostalgic as I'm freaking out about how quickly my life is passing.  It seems just yesterday that I was a teenager in the 1980's and anybody over the age of 25 was soooooooooo old and not with it.  What is pressing my emotions even more is that my baby is getting married.  It truly seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with her.  People always told me how quickly life passes.  They are right.  

Yes, it's a recurring theme in this blog as of late - my baby getting married.  However, I'm not forcing anybody to read this blog.  I don't even advertise it anywhere.  If you're here it's because you stumbled on it accidentally.  If you don't like it - leave.  I don't even allow for comments as I don't care what you think.  This blog is my cheap therapy where I process emotions.  

Now that I have my snarky menopausal comments out of the way, I'll go back to humor.  

Another thing that is freaking me out is how media stars from the 1980's are now AARP members.  Take Judge Reinhold and Sean Penn for example.  Here's a clip from my high school anthem, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  Now, both actors are senior citizens.  WTF happened?  Time.  That's what happened.  It waits for nobody.  If the gods are gracious we grow old.  

 

Humor

 My son and my brother are at total opposite ends of politics.  My son is so liberal that he has fallen off the left coast cliff.  My older brother is so right wing that it would not shock me if he was connected to the January 6th insurgence.  

They do not see eye to eye on anything political.

Here is what is binding them together:  HUMOR.

Tell me of somebody who does not like to laugh and I will show you somebody who has something stuck in an orifice.  Remove the stick from the orifice, people.  Find humor and laugh together.  I don't care how opposite your views of the world are.  Laughter binds us together and builds bridges. 

Old White Women Gone Wild

 My exercise class consists of women of a certain age.  Youth is in our rear view mirror.  Don't take that for lack of spice and sass.  Many of the women are completely gray.  Again, don't take that for lack of spice and sass.  These women are spunky, fun, spontaneous, and would give women half their age a run for their money.  Sock it to me!

Today was 70's soul day.  You should have seen the look on the faces of the people passing by seeing us all funk out to James Brown while we did our thing in the park.  

I can't help but think of Eddie Murphy's spoofs on James Brown.  Here is one of my favorites.

The Rehersal Dinner

 It's crunch time for the wedding.  I'm so honored that my Minnesota besties are coming out for my daughter's wedding.  It's no small adventure to trek across the country.  Us 1980's gals are going to OWN the dance floor.  Not only that, my friends will be there to dry my eyes as my little girl gets married and I will be overwhelmed with emotion and be a complete mess.  

My son is graduating from UC Santa Cruz the day before his sister's wedding.  Talk about everything happening at once.  My son has had quite the educational journey as his path was the one less traveled.  My son is dyslexic.  He had to work ten times as hard as everybody else for grades.  His journey has been four steps forward, two steps backwards, three side steps, but always managing to go in the right direction.

How do we do a wedding and a graduation at once?  We certainly did not plan it this way.  The universe just doled it out to us and we had no say as COVID had an impact on both the timing of the graduation and also the wedding.  

The gods are gracious and we will be able to attend the graduation AND the wedding.  My husband and I will go down to San Jose on Thursday to spend the night and take our son and his husband out to Original Joe's, which is walking distance from the hotel we stay at.  We have something special planned for our son at dinner.  Friday we will trek over the hill to Santa Cruz and watch him walk.  After he walks we are peeling it back to Sonoma County for our daughter's rehearsal dinner.  Thankfully, the rehearsal dinner is CASUAL and it will be a taco truck serving us on the ranch.   We could show up in sweats and slippers and nobody would care. 

I was talking to a friend of mine today at exercise class.  Her son is getting married next weekend.  She was lamenting that she wanted the rehearsal dinner, which is traditionally coordinated by the groom's parents,  to have a casual vibe to it as in a food truck or the like as the venue is a ranch, but her soon-to-be-daughter-in-law insisted on some Michelin Star restaurant.  My friend is very well off financially and it's not a money issue.  She is not trying nor wanting to impress anybody with fancy restaurants for a rehearsal dinner.  Her philosophy is that people just want to eat, drink, relax, and the most importantly.....TO FEEL COMFORTABLE.......Especially with the stress of the upcoming wedding.  However, my friend is walking on egg shells as she does not want to cause any distress with her future daughter-in-law that would drive a wedge and damage relations.    

Mother of the groom wants a taco truck for the rehearsal dinner.  Bridezilla wants a fancy restaurant.  Everybody else just wants something easy and casual as they really don't care and are not emotionally invested.  The wedding party is already exhausted because most of them have traveled from far and wide just to participate in the wedding.  Bridezilla is crying because nobody is siding with her and is throwing a tantrum.  

I told my friend she can stop by anytime for a glass or two of wine.  I feel for her as she is trying so hard to keep the peace. 

The Wedding Shower

 Today was my daughter's wedding shower.  It was a very lovely affair that had a 'pretty in pink' theme.  My daughter's future mother-in-law outdid herself in putting together something so memorable.  It was very lady like and something the royals would have been proud of as the event was very dignified.  No, I was not whooping and hollering sucking on a can of beer with my bare feet while sitting on a a hay bale with a corn cob pipe in my mouth donning overalls a plaid shirt and a straw hat.  LOL

My daughter is having the wedding I never had and I'm so glad we can give it to her.  My own wedding was in Reno 35 years ago.  When we were asked if we wanted to spend $25 for a video of the wedding we declined as we did not have the $25 to spare.  Oh well.  We have pictures of us next to the velvet Elvis at the entrance to the Chapel of Love Drive Thru Weddings.  

I'm being a bit cheeky about my tacky Reno wedding - kind of.  

Now, back to 2022 and the wedding shower of today. 

It was something I will never forget watching my baby girl and her soon-to-be husband opening their gifts together.  My future son-in-law was a true sport by showing up in a pink Hawaiian shirt AND endured so much of the chick stuff with a smile on his face.  

It was a good day.  All the pre-wedding festivities are now over.  Next stop is the wedding.  Hold on and stay seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. 

Why I Got Kicked Off Nextdoor Part IV

 Ohhhhhhh boy.  The response that I would have liked to pen to this cow would have gotten me kicked off Nextdoor again.  Read the posts from this cow and then my imaginary response that only appears here.  I feel avenged that I can complain to cyberspace.  

It's no coincidence that your name is Karen.  You begged the community for a Nintendo Switch for your kid at Christmas time.  Now, a few months later you're begging of the community to give you money to send your kid to summer camp to get him off his gaming devices.  

Sounds like your problems are self-inflicted.  

Need I point out that most of your posts are a beg-a-thon?  You are constantly whining about your lack of money.  Join the club.  You are not special.  Millions of people are struggling as well.  Wait.  Billions of people are struggling.  At least you don't have to worry about bombs going off on your street and that you are lucky enough to have four walls and a roof that house you and your kid, you have a warm bed, running water, and electricity.  You also have access to food and medical assistance. 

Karen, you think you have it rough?  PUH-LEEZE.  Tie your tubes immediately.  Your genes swim at the very shallow end of the gene pool.  Do not inflict your stupidity to future generations.  My condolences to your son who had no choice in the matter.  

I'm sure you will have future beg-a-thons and Go-Fund-Me campaigns to milk the community of whatever you can.  Just do yourself a favor and at least try to disguise them from your stupidity and contradictions from previous posts. 

 

 

 

 

The Mohawk

 Back when my daughter was playing D1 softball, the mask she wore made her hair stand up on the center of her head.  Her teammates teased her that she looked like she had a Mohawk.  When my son was born, he had a tuft of hair on the top of his head that is still there to this day.  My son has also worn a spikey-blue Mohawk just because he could. 

Both of my kids have sported the Mohawk hair without really understanding their connection to it.  

What is funny is that I remember my husband's grandmother, who was into the family history, telling us about the chain of events that happened since the family arrived from England back in the 1600's and settled in upstate New York.   I distinctly remember her telling us that there was Mohawk blood in the family.  I thought that was amusing as my husband's entire family looked pretty lily white to me.  Whatever.  Family genetics are complicated and we are all pretty much a bunch of mutts.  

Where I'm going with this is that my kids are honoring their Mohican heritage and they don't even realize it.   

They are not the last of the Mohicans.  The Mohicans live on.  

p.s.  If you have not seen the Last of the Mohicans, I highly recommend you watch it.  It came out about 28 years ago or so.  It pretty much sums up how America was born. 

Gavin Newsom: Bribing the Masses

 Politics and politicians are very slimy.  Why anybody would choose such a profession must have an ego bigger than their brain.  They all make promises and think they have the solutions to problems that have been around since the dawn of time.  

The only thing that is constant and will never change is the very core of human nature.  I wish I could say that I'm impressed with homo sapiens.  We are the only species that destroys the very things that sustain life in order to accumulate inanimate objects that do not contribute to quality of life.  

Let's take California's so-called budget surplus.  Every state entity from: cities, counties, schools, universities, junior colleges, pension funds, infrastructure, health care facilities, etc., are constantly crying that they do not have enough money. Suddenly, there are BILLIONS of excess in California. Sorry, but this does not make any sense.

Governor Newsom is now planning on sending checks to households.  This smells to me of pandering and bribing so close to midterm elections.  The reasoning is rising gas prices. 

Let's think this through a minute.  With the climate crisis the last thing we should be doing is lessening the impact of rising gas prices.  People will only change when they become uncomfortable enough to pursue an alternative.  High gas prices will force people to ride public transportation, carpool, walk, and bicycle.  Staying in the zone of affordable gas prices will not prompt any changes that should have happened yesterday.  

Sure, there are the environmentalists who have led the charge on this.  However, by and large the masses will not change unless it's forced.  

 It's human nature.

Opposites: It's all Necessary

 Everything in the universe is all about balance.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  I think you get the gist of what I'm referring to.  

Here's what drives me nuts.  Everybody is constantly harping about being POSITIVE constantly.  It's like we are not allowed to process anything negative - like negativity does not exist.  Here's the truth:  There is no such thing as positive if there isn't something negative to compare it to.  We need the full range of energy both positive AND negative.  It's all necessary.  

Negativity is necessary.  Sorry if I just busted your happy little effing bubble.  Stop with your commands that we are to be happy all of the time.  Humans experience the full spectrum of energy, so what's wrong with recognizing that?  

Embrace the suck.  It's OK to feel like sh** .  It's part of being human, and don't let any chirpy do-gooder make you feel worse for feeling worse. 

Busy, Busy, Busy

 I knew 2022 was going to be a super busy year.  In fact, when my husband and I toasted in the new year we each raised our glass and said to each other, "Fasten your seat belt.  It's going to be crazy for the next 12 months."

Well, it's happening.  Seat belt is fastened, but not sure if it will securely hold me in place.  LOL

My son is graduating from UC Santa Cruz the day before my daughter's wedding.  What timing!  Everything happens at once.  I guess because of COVID and all the delays with graduations, weddings, parties, reunions, etc., it's like somebody opened up the floodgates.  

Here's a fun fact about UC Santa Cruz.  Their mascot is a banana slug. The banana slug has no known predators.   Why the banana slug?  It's because it an eff-u the overemphasis on sports in college.  

MEA: Update on Misery

You all remember my assistant named MEA?  Well, I would not blame you if you did not.  I have also tried to wipe her out from my consciousness.  Her repeated claims for disability and unemployment compensation when she never really worked in the first place have left me speechless.  Like I've mentioned earlier in previous blog posts, she was a married woman with kids and decided to run off to Mexico with her English Loverboy.  

Let's face it.  All American women have fantasized about running off with Englishmen.  At least I have had that fantasy LOL.  Englishmen are just so.......irresistible!!!!  Goodness gracious,  there ought to be a law against Englishmen for being so darn HANDSOME.  I GET THE ATTRACTION. 

At any rate, back to the story at hand.  MEA ran off to Mexico to be with her English Loverboy.  I must admit there was an initial, but fleeting, twang of jealousy on my end when she left.   How romantic to run off with a fresh romance at age 50+.......    Especially with an Englishman.  Sigh.

This is where fantasy clashes with reality.

Reality:  MEA's husband was willing to work on their marriage.  He knew it was in trouble.  He also knew MEA had an English boyfriend and drove her to the San Francisco airport where he knew she was flying off to London meet with him.  MEA's husband loved her enough to let her explore what she was feeling and would there upon her return home.  

Long story short, MEA lied to her husband upon her return from frolicking with English Loverboy stating that she had gotten it out of her system and wanted to work on her marriage.  

This is about the time where MEA decides to bail on her two daughters and husband here in Sonoma County and runs to Mexico to be with English Loverboy.  Her departing words to me were pretty much of the ilk that she does not want anything from her marriage, i.e., money, items, house, or anything material that  has been accumulated during their marriage.  She just wanted OUT.  

Wow... how things change.

I got a long text from MEA the other day.  She was lamenting about how her soon-to-be-ex-husband has turned nasty in the divorce proceedings.  MEA was angry that he purchased a  house and other property prior to their split and how he was hiding money from her.   Now MEA wants her cut.  She is claiming that he purchased these properties and it was not in accordance to their divorce agreement.  The husband was granted a huge promotion from his employer right after their separation.  Now MEA wants to claim his now heightened income in the divorce as part of her alimony.  MEA is claiming that he deferred his promotion to avoid paying alimony. 

Well......MEA was hiding things from her husband as well.  It sucks when the person you're trying to efffff over gets wise and plays the same game with you.

Things are not so rosy in Mexico with 'they-lived-happily-ever-after' fallacy we have all been fed when things change abruptly and we all want to trade in our spouse for anybody who does not leave the toilet seat up and the cap off the toothpaste.   MEA and English Loverboy have had their fair share of horse manure....and then some.

Come to find out that English Loverboy could not take the stress of MEA's not-yet-compete-divorce and left their love nest in Mexico and retreated back to England.  

English Loverboy has two divorces under his belt along with five kids.  What he thought to be a cash-cow California girlfriend, MEA, has now proven to be more of a financial liability than an asset.  He bailed.  

Now MEA is all alone in Mexico.  She wants to return to California but cannot afford it.  She is also suffering from vertigo and claims she cannot work (or so she says).  It's the age-old saying of be careful what you wish for.  She got her dream lover and ran off to a foreign country.....and then it went sour in months.  

Her soon-to-be-ex-husband has moved on without her, and so have her daughters. MEA truly is alone. Somehow, I just can't feel sorry for her.  Look before you leap. 

 

 

 

 

Three Little Birds

 You all know the song by Bob Marley, I'm certain of that.  On a serious note, three little birds did show up in our garage today of all places.  We were in the kitchen making our homemade pizza when my daughter said, "Shhhhhhhhhhh.  Mom, I think there are birds in the garage."  

Well, she was correct.  There were three little birds in our garage.  How they got there is a complete mystery.  Now what?  Thankfully, social media does serve  some useful purpose.  I posted on NextDoor (through my husband's account as I have been banned LOL) that we have three little chicks.  We don't know what to do with them.  Within minutes a man and his daughter replied and said they raised chickens, ducks, and whatever comes their way as the daughter has a soft spot for birds.  

The man and his daughter arrived with all the equipment necessary to take care of abandoned chicks.  I felt good about that.  I don't know how to care for little chicks and I don't have the heart to just leave them to die (believe it or not).  

Here they are....so cute

Word Crimes

 My son showed me this Weird Al Yankovic take on a song that was popular about 10 years ago.  I love Weird Al.  I'm sure he would butcher my blog with word crimes.  I'll be the first to suck up the hard truth.  I STILL love you, Al. 

 

Mother of the Bride

 I know my BFF's are also going through this as their daughters are getting married this summer as well.  Like I mentioned earlier, we have LOTS of weddings this summer.  Just about every weekend is booked up until late September.  SSP, I know you feel me. 

I am the mother of the bride.

Let me tell you this.  It was a LOT easier when my son and his husband got married.  One would think a gay wedding would spark controversy and upset more so than a heterosexual wedding.  Perhaps because my son's wedding was hosted at my friend, M's, Victorian home and the whole vibe was that of a casual garden party.  We did everything ourselves as well from the food to the booze.   Nothing was hired out. 

Maybe gay weddings are easier because there are no expectations or traditions.  All I know is that I'm ready to kill some of the people who are invited to my daughter's wedding.  Sadly, I'm related to them.

I can't believe the number of people who want to argue and negotiate the guest list.  The invitations were very clear as to whom was included and that adding a 'plus one' was not an option.  Also, my daughter's wedding is an adult only event.  That was also made very clear on the invitation.  The snide comments we are now getting are unbelievable.  Please, just accept or decline.  I don't want a lecture on how you think your kids should be included.  I also don't want a lecture about not all relatives being invited.  The line had to be drawn.  It was very difficult for the bride and groom as there were limitations and relatives on both sides who did not receive an invitation.

My daughter has been under a lot of stress and bitchy relatives are not helping the situation.  She was the maid of honor for her best friend just this last weekend.  She planned the bachelorette party which was held in San Diego, shower, etc., all at the same time as planning her own wedding.  The bride leaned on my daughter a lot through everything as her dad is dying of cancer and we were all wondering if he would be strong enough to walk his baby girl down the aisle.  

Where I'm going with this is that my daughter's wedding invitations went out in batches because she is pretty much planning two weddings at once.  Not all of the invitations were sent on the same date.  My in-laws were comparing dates as to when they were received and gossiped about how the invitations were different.  The reason they were different was that the older generation received rsvp cards for snail mail, and the younger generation were to rsvp online.  

Holy cow.  I did not expect relatives to be comparing notes as to when they received their invitations and inventing drama about it.  Those who received their invitation on a later date are reading into it that they are on the B list.  There is no B list.  They are also all butt-hurt that their kids are not included.  Again, just accept or decline.  We understand that perhaps finding a babysitter could be an issue.  JUST DECLINE.  Trust me.  We are fine with that.  

The other thing that is frustrating is chasing down people trying to get an answer one way or another if they are attending.  Again, just accept or decline.  We are not looking for lengthy excuses.  A simple yes or no is proficient.  

Putting on a traditional wedding is no small undertaking.  Please be respectful of answering the invitation in a timely manner one way or another.  Do not attempt to argue or negotiate the guest list.  And no, if you decline the invitation a gift is not expected.  Fun fact:  even if you accept the invitation a gift is not expected.  The bride, groom, and their parents truly want you there to experience the happiest day of their lives.   

Elopement is looking better and better. 

Wedding Season :)

 It's wedding season.  We have a lot of weddings this year as the pandemic produced quite a bit of pent up demand.  My daughter's friends are all getting married as she is in that age group of mid 20's.  

We just got back from a wedding that was held in Sparks, Nevada.  Neither the bride nor groom are from the area.  The only tie to the area is the groom's mother.  Everybody else had to drive 3.5 hours from Sonoma County, where both the bride and groom are from, secure lodging, etc., for the venue that was held at the golf course where the groom's mother lives.  The golf course was out in the middle of nowhere in the high desert.  Scrounging the internet for lodging was in itself a feat as the groom's mother reserved the villas that were located next to the golf course for HER family.  There were no hotels anywhere nearby.  We had to find a VRBO or the like.  Nothing about this wedding was convenient for the guests.  Please, don't ask your guests to drive a minimum of 3.5 hours giving up an entire weekend only to skunk them as far as accommodations.  

The mother of the groom dressed exactly like the bridesmaids right down to the color, cut, and length of the dress.  Sorry, her fake tits and sloppy botox  fillers just made her look like every other Los Angeles 60 year-old woman trying to be 20.  Cheap plastic. 

There's a reason why the groom's mother is twice divorced.

And....we only thought Bridezilla applied only to brides.  

Here's what really happened.  The wedding was held at a location that was not convenient for anybody - except for the mother of the groom.  Sure, it was economical for whomever was planning it.  All they did was shove off the expense of having a wedding that could have been closer to the home of the bride and groom, and more convenient for the guests, to a cheap location where guests had to travel long distances and rack up $$$ in travel expenses to attend.......and then fork over $$$$ for a wedding gift.  

The wedding could have been a simple ceremony on a local beach followed by a couple of taco food trucks with a mariachi band.    But noooooooooooooo the mother of the groom HAD to have it at her shitty I-wanna-be-somebody-but-I'm-not golf course out in the middle of nowhere.

Yup.  Have a wedding that shoves off all the expenses off to the guests.  Sigh.  

I don't even want to touch on the invitation we received to an elopement celebration that is asking for cash only as a gift.  If it's truly an elopement, then why the crass begging for cash at a party after the fact?  Oh....we were not important enough to be invited to the actual elopement event.  The leftover guests are all invited to a brunch 4 hours north in Eureka a month after the fact.  I guess the bride and groom figured they were missing out on a bunch of gifts and cash by omitting us from the actual event and tried to make us feel better by inviting us to a brunch at a later date to make sure they could collect their take.  

Again, why drag us all the way up to Eureka?  Oh.  They really don't want us there.  They just want the cash donation.