Dad's Obituary

I have been asked by my mother and my siblings to write Dad's obituary.  See what over a decade of spewing awful writing via this dumb blog  gets you?   It's not that I'm a great writer, but I practice more than anybody else in the family.  Plus, it's the least I can do being in California and the rest of them in Minnesota.

I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.  

Dad does not want a funeral, and his wish is to be cremated.  I respect that.  I'm wondering if at some point the immediate family can get together to spread his ashes by his most favorite place on earth when it's not -15*......his deer hunting stand.  

What to write about dad's life besides the basic facts is vexing me.  There was a point in my life where we did not speak for a long time.  He never missed an opportunity to tell me how he was disappointed in me, and criticized everything I did.  He was hard on me.  However, it made me an extremely strong and independent person.  Over the years dad mellowed and our relationship deepened.  As my own kids began to mature I understood him more and more.  He had demons from his own childhood he was dealing with, but never wanted anybody to know.  We had a very complicated relationship.  

I can't write about it now, but I know dad has been visiting.  Myself and my son have had experiences that defy logic.  

Well, goodbye to 2021 and goodbye to my crusty cowboy Midwest farmer father.  They don't make them like him anymore.   

As I included in a previous blog some time ago, this song will forever remind me of my father.  While I was texting his sister (my auntie) yesterday it came on the television.  We were texting about planning a farewell party (NOT a funeral) for dad.  Dad always hated sad, sappy shit.  

Merry Christmas - NOT!

 I'm dreading it already....the chirpy inquiry, "How was your Christmas?"

I know the question is not aimed at making me feel miserable and is a general conversation opener.  Here's how my Christmas was.

MY DAD DIED ON THE TOILET ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

Yup.  There it is in all the glorious details.  Dad died on the toilet after having prime rib and a beer for Christmas dinner.  He had asked me for my favorite prime rib recipe, which I gladly shared a few days prior.  

Dad had been sick for a while, but he was in a stable state and we did not expect him to go the way he did.  I'm sure he was not expecting it either.  I won't go into the details as I've already overshared.  

I'm going to miss his Midwest style of crusty orneriness.  He could smell B.S. ten miles away and knew if somebody was genuine or fake.  He had no time for fake people.  Say what you mean and mean what you say, if not keep your flap shut.  My favorite quote from him was, "If a man's word ain't worth nothin' then the man ain't worth nothin." 

Crime Spree

[whiny sheltered SF liberal] ....what do we do about the crime spree going on in SF?  I'm sooooooo upset! I don't feel safe in my neighborhood any longer.  I feel threatened when I go out to buy my organic, wheat grass soy latte and gluten-free breads.  Somehow, my 'black lives matter' window signs don't exempt me from getting my catalytic converter stolen from my Honda Prius and all the windows smashed in.   HELLLLLLP!  I'm going to move to Sonoma County to get away from all of this. 

[crusty non-politically correct truther].....well, what did you expect with your "De-fund the Police" campaign?  Did you think that coddling crime was going to end well?  Did you think that excusing crime on the premises of economic victimization was going to end well?  I've got news for you.  We are ALL victims of economic victimization.  Some are capitalizing on it. 

[whiny sheltered SF liberal]   It's just so horrible!  I don't know what's happened to SF!  It used to be a clean, safe city.  My professors at Liberal University said that if I just give each and every homeless person, beggar, and drug addict all my money the world would be Utopia.

[crusty non-politically correct truther]  YUP.  Bingo.  Tell me....where does your uber liberal professor live?  My money is that he lived in SF or Oakland until he could not take it anymore.  Then he decided to move to Sonoma County (a conservative hicksville he bashed as a bastion of white trash) to get away from it all.  Now he's here bringing all his liberal political bullshit that trashed SF and Oakland to Sonoma County.  Please.  If their liberal agenda is so great and loving and perfect and wonderful, why are these liberal rats abandoning the ship and moving here to Sonoma County where the exact opposite political views are prevalent?  

[whiney sheltered SF liberal]  .....oh.....  we only like all this super liberalism until it impacts us directly.  The minute we are confronted with crime in our immediate neighborhoods  we flee to conservative towns but still don the liberal cloak.

[crusty non-politically correct truther]  here's the truth.  We don't want you here.  You trashed SF and the Bay Area with your over-the-top liberal bs and now you don't like what you have created so you're moving here in droves.  FUCK YOU.  Go back and fix what you created.  Then we'll talk.  Yes.  We need a border wall between the North Bay Counties and SF to keep you all from moving here....AND we will get SF to pay for it.  Hey, something could be constructed on the Golden Gate Bridge to keep all the SF (and other greater Bay Area scum from coming in).  If you're coming from SF you will be automatically zapped by a giant laser on the GG bridge. 

LOL....sound familiar???? 

...and then there were two

 .....ok, so this stupid blog is not all about angry rants spewed aimlessly into the universe.  A few months back a black cat started coming around not too long after our cat died.  We named him Skade.  Now, another has started coming around as well.  I'm not sure where s/he lives (assuming he has a home) but now both of them are fixtures at our house.  We named the white newcomer Pig, as it's amazing how much he can eat.  The two are very friendly with each other and play well together.