Milestone Birthday

My son is having a milestone birthday.  I can't believe it - as that means I'm that much older.  Yikes!!

So far so good with both of my kids.  I've never had the cops come to the door, deal with drugs or alcohol, or had to bail them out of jail.  They both have self-respect, but are compassionate and considerate of others. 

Whew. 

Who knows what parenting styles work and what other ones do not.  What works for one family may not work for another.  The only thing I know for certain is that I have given every ounce of my being  mentally, physically, financially, emotionally, etc., etc., etc., to raise them.

Raising kids is exhausting, difficult, expensive, and you pretty much lose yourself in the process because so much if focused on THEM.  It's not glamours and the pay is non-existent.  You are on call 24/7 for the rest of your life. 

I gave it my best shot.  I tried to be there for them.  Seeing what fine young adults they have turned out to be gives me great satisfaction. 

So far so good. 

Homeless People Whining

It's all over the news these days.  The homeless people are crying, whining, and complaining on how we are all "out to get them" just because they are homeless.  Their battle cry is that being homeless is not a crime.  My retort is that it is not a crime to be homeless, but loitering is. 

The homeless are all bitching and whining that it costs a lot of money to live in Sonoma County.  Duh.  Tell me something I don't know.  The homeless are are not obligated to hang out here.  Move on to greener pastures.  Please.  Wait.  What?  They don't want to leave?  Well, that's a choice.  The choices of the homeless do not mean an instant demand on my pocket book where they feel entitled to food, shelter, etc.

I want to live in Sonoma County as well on somebody elses dime.

Today's article featured two homeless women whining about how expensive it is to live here.  My advice to them?  Move.  They don't have an established address here, anyway.  Yet there they are demanding social services and tax payer dollars and we are to feel sorry for them.  Here's what pisses me off.  These betches are demanding public resources to support them.  Never once did these two homeless betches ever offer what they could do to contribute back to society.   It's all about blindly giving to them.  They think they can just demand from society without paying back in some way.

Sorry, it doesn't work like that.  You want something?  You give something in return. 

Minnesota does not have a problem with homeless people.  Why?  Because nature would take care of them and they would freeze to death come late November.  They don't contribute shit to the betterment of society.  They only take and don't give.  Call me cruel.  I call myself a realist.  If a homeless person would approach his or her situation as to what they could GIVE to get themselves out of a crappy situation I would listen to that. 

They don't.  They all think they deserve a handout.  Enjoy your crappy warm climate states where nature does not take care of this on its own.  The farther north you go the cleaner it is.  No coincidence. 

The earth is way too overpopulated as it is.

M's Dating Scene

My CA bff, M, has been divorced for a while now.  I've seen her date several guys by this point.  It's getting to the point where I can't keep up with her list of 'guy friends' as she has no trouble attracting them at all - it's just the ones she's attracting aren't worth dating.

The last serious relationship was with with N, the bumbling, broke, irresponsible alcoholic who is now dying of cancer.  M has a bit of a Florence Nightengale complex, so of course, she is taking him to his doctor appointments as he's crapped on everybody else in his life, including his own kids, and nobody else will do it.

I called that a few months ago.

M and N's breakup was abrupt and painful.  There are not back together, but M says the reason she's doing so much for N is that it is allowing her to get closure on the relationship by talking about things and what went wrong with N that she has had bottled up inside of her.  M's intentions are pure.  I can guarantee that.  On the other hand, N sees somebody who will simply get him the cancer treatment he needs.  N has no remorse nor regret nor compassion - only for himself.  Still, it's sad for M to see this once big, healthy-looking guy shriveling up into a grey colored skeleton with a distended belly.

Which now leaves M free to go on the prowl searching for her soul mate.  She keeps looking at all the popular bar hangouts in Sonoma County with the same drunks week after week thinking that will change.

Oooooh... but then.... mystery man appears at a local watering hole last Friday night.  This guy, lets just call him Guy, is a professional schmoozer.  I saw right through him immediately.   He says all the right things that M wants to hear, and is interested in all the things M is interested in.  Guy is from some state on the east coast.  Red flag #1.  He is in his mid 50's and has been married once for a period of two years (can't or won't be in a long-term relationship).  Red flag #2.  Has lived all over the country.  Red flag #3 (running from somebody or something).  The cherry on top was that Guy loved music and to dance.  Pretty soon they are chatting it up in the corner with drinks and the two of them arethisclose.  The red flags were only visible to me.  Who am I to rain on M's great date night? 

I know what comes next.  I'm a professional friend.  Plus, I'm not looking for a relationship - if I go out it's for the pure fun of music and dance.  It's very easy for me to be objective as I have no emotional skin in this game. 

M brings Guy back to her house and you can guess the rest.  The next morning Guy is giving M his cell phone number.  You would think it would be the other way around.  She had to ask Guy for his number.  Red flag #4.  He leaves back to the east coast without saying a proper good-bye to M.  Red flag #5.  M sends an innocent text to Guy.  Guy takes his sweet time responding.  Red flag #6.  M finally works up the courage to call Guy.  While they are talking the cell service cuts out.  Guy does not call back.  Red flag #7.

M is still gushing on how she felt such a connection to this guy and how good he was in bed.  I guess she has never had a guy this good.  The sex was great.  M really wanted to believe that the one night stand she had with Guy had substance.  No self-respecting woman wants to admit that she went to bed with a guy she met at a bar that same night.  Guy knows that, too.  He had to lay it on thick (no pun intended) to make M believe that it was something more.  He's a professional user. 

Well, what do you expect from a professional cad?  He's had plenty of practice.  I hope M doesn't contract a disease.  As always, I'm biting my tongue and letting this all play out on its own.  However, if she asks my honest opinion of Guy I will not hold back.  I've learned with that one.  She has not asked.  Deep down she knows. 

From One Corner of Polynesia to Another

There are two strong feeling that I have always had about my kids for years now.  One was going to end up on the east coast in Washington D.C., and the other was going to end up on a Polynesian Island in the South Pacific. 

Both feeling are coming to fruition.  I'm no celebrity psychic, but I get "gut feelings" that I can't shake.  I wish I could explain them, but I can't.  I have no control over it whatsoever. 

My one kid has always had a fascination with Hawaii and the South Pacific.  I have a feeling why, but that is another story into past lives and Pearl Harbor.  Now she has been offered a job in New Zealand.  I say go for it.  She will go from one end of Polynesia (Hawaii) to another (New Zealand).  It's fitting as her current boyfriend is 100% Samoan but grew up in Hawaii.  He now plays football for USC.  They seem to really like each other.  A lot.  Time will tell. 

Royal Wedding Reception

SNL (Saturday Night Live) also saw the humor in the Royal Wedding.  I find this skit humorous as it hits the very nerves of what it is. 

Royal Wedding

OK.. I remember when Prince Harry's parents were married.  I know that makes me old.  I also remember when the Prince Harry was born.  The tabloids all read, "Diana produces an heir plus a spare."

This is where I totally relate to Prince Harry.  He has red hair.  He is a rebel.  We are both totally overlooked in every aspect possible.  We are the "second team" if that ever needed to be put together...it might not...so there we sit.

Yes, Harry, I know exactly what it feels like to be the spare tire that never gets put to use....and if we do get to change out the flat, we are scrutinized for being wobbly and off-balance - never measuring up to our older sibling(s).

Harry:  I'm GLAD you married the molatto divorcee from LA.  You are breaking all the 'rules' your ancestors paid dearly for.  You are totally bad ass and we love it.  You are the classiest gangsta rebel ever.  You had the courage and guts to marry the woman you wanted to.  The only thing that would have topped this is if you would have married the guy of your dreams.  PEACE OUT.

CRENSHAW

I'm sooooo white and i'm typing this.    Whatever.  Nobody reads this stupid ass blog anyways.

How to Pay Hospital Bills

Are you buried in medical debt?  Did you know that’s the number one reason Americans declare bankruptcy?  That’s a sad statement of our nation.  When somebody has an emergency they don’t want to go in an ambulance as that will potentially cost them thousands.  Instead, they call a cab, Lyft driver, or Uber driver.  Yup.  Ridesharing has now become your low-cost ambulance service.

I’m getting a little off track, so I’m getting back to paying the hospital bills.  I got stuck on going broke before you even get to the hospital with the whole ambulance thing.  Sorry about that.  There are plenty of ways to go broke in the hospital in less than 24 hours.  Trust me.

Now that your heart attack has been treated and you’re feeling back to normal, you go out to your mailbox one day and there’s a hospital bill for $160,000.

You have Another heart attack.

Here’s where I can recussitate you.  Don’t pay it.  The hospital will threaten to take you to collections but then settle at a fraction of the cost.

The upside is that you get a huge break.  The down side is that people like me pay higher health insurance premiums because you’re a deadbeat.

The bigger problem is the way our medical system is set up.  I could go on and on on why our drug prices are out of control (here’s a hint:  research and development) and why doctors feel justified in ripping us all off (another hint:  to pay off medical school loan debt and malpractice insurance).

Money and medicine do not play well together.

Transistor Radio and Death

What does a transistor radio and death have to do with one another?  Lemme 'splain.

My brother-in-law died in a car accident three years ago leaving behind my sister and her two kids.  My sister and her husband, I knew, were the love of each others' lives.  They were born exactly 4 months apart.  They went to junior high school and high school together and were 'best friends' but never dated, nor were they romantically involved.  They each dated other people.  In fact, they each ended up marrying somebody else and my brother-in-law was a groomsman in my sister's first wedding.

Where I'm going with this is that he had a very unselfish love for her and WAITED decades, sticking by her through boyfriends and a marriage, to declare his love for her and getting finally marrying her.  Soul mates. 

Anyway, he ended up dying in a car accident at the end of the road that led from their house to the highway.  That morning my sister had a weird feeling something was off as she works at nearby elementary school and heard the ambulance sirens.  Somehow, she just know.  She tried to call and text him but he did not respond - he couldn't respond - as he was already pronounced dead at the scene.

That very same day here in Sonoma County I had to drive to San Francisco for a meeting.  I was thinking of my brother-in-law's engineering genius as he had very opinionated ideas on a certain car, and on that particular morning there were more on the road than I thought usual.

When I got home that evening there was a box at the door.  It was a Christmas gift from my sister and brother-in-law.  It was making a strange noise so I decided to open it up rather than wait for Christmas morning.  It was a decorative little Christmas tree that lit up and sparkled.  Somehow, it had turned itself on during transit from Minnesota to California.  I thought it pretty so I placed it out in the living room for display thinking how nice it was for my sister and brother-in-law to send it to me.

It was about that time the phone rang.  It was one of my brothers calling to tell me that my brother-in-law had died that day.

Fast forward three years.

I had a dream the other night about my brother-in-law.  It was soooooooo real and I knew he was dead, but there he was plain as day.  He was very, very happy.  In the dream I could hear my sister in the background shrieking with joy.

I jolted awake and grabbed my iPhone to text my sister to tell her about the dream.  She replied that she, too, had a dream about my deceased brother-in-law.  In her dream he told her that he can hear everything that we are doing.  He told her that it's like sitting next to a transistor radio.  He can hear everything, and all we have to do is talk to him -- he hears.

I can't make this stuff up, people. 

Korea

Everybody is in jubilation about "peace" on the Korean peninsula.  North Korea is finally seeing the light is what they all want us to think. 

South Korea has been an ally of ours for decades now.  Yes.  Everybody put down your arms and breathe. 

Not so fast.

North Korea has a very disciplined army and will die for their leader.  The terrain is mountainous and dangerous, which makes ground combat very difficult.  The only way to "win" a war with North Korea would be to nuke them.  I can hear the roar out there from you all.  "So what?"

Here's the problem.

We can't nuke North Korea without South Korea getting caught in the crossfire.  If we bomb North Korea, we bomb South Korea because of geographical reality.  South Korea becomes a casualty.  Our atom bombs are not smart enough to cut out and spare South Korea, our allies.  

Both South Korea and North Korea know this.  They are forming an allegiance for fear of us, not because they woke up one morning deciding to finally get along. 

Blood is thicker than water.  Watch out.  This is a grand display.