Three And a Half Months Later

It's been three and a half months since my sister's husband died in a car crash at the end of their driveway where it joins a busy highway in Swedetown, Minnesota.  It's about now where the reality of everything is setting in.  He's gone.  She is instantly a widow.  It's not a nightmare she can wake herself up from. 

I'm trying to help my sister maneuver her way through the stages of grief -- shock, denial, bargaining, anger, and depression....and hopefully acceptance at some point.  She's not there yet.  She cries every day, and she's not one who EVER cried. She's as tough as tough can be.  This is breaking her. 

The emptiness and the loneliness is now overwhelming for her.  The flurried flood of people who initially offered help and support with words of  "please let me know what I can do" have all vanished.  Now that she's getting a grasp on what needs to be done she's finding out who really meant what they said.   Those who really care did not disappear a week after the funeral and do random acts of kindness for her like snow blowing the driveway, taking the garbage cans down to the curb, and dropping off a meal as she hates cooking. 

I guess the moral of the story is to not forget about people who have endured a tragic loss.  Often times they need you months later.