Monster Truck Drivers

My dear friend in England, CG, had an unpleasant exchange with an aggressive, male 4x4 driver. Haven't we all. CG is the most mellow lady in the world. To have an overly aggressive- testosterone-laden guy in her face over something trivial got CG shaking in her boots. Poor dear.

Guys like the one CG encountered are nothing more than guys with small penises and large egos. They are the ones who routinely beat up their wives/girlfriends. Their alpha dog behavior should require a neutering appointment, followed by a dinner featuring removed parts.

Attention Ladies: The next time you get verbally assaulted by an out-of-control 4x4 driver, just point to his crotch and start laughing hysterically.

Houston Layover Delay

(above photo of Bush statue at Houston Airport) Look, they do pile shit that high!
Bush's life story condensed version: Idiotic, spoiled child of Texas oil man; Bullied way into White House; if anybody stands in the way just shoot 'em up.
Media manipulation is the Bush's main talent.


My worst nightmare was lived. I was trapped in Texas. Worse yet, I was trapped at Houston "Bush" Airport. The flights for the trip thus far were too good to be true -- on time takeoffs, and adjacent passengers that were neither sick nor obnoxious.

My luck ran out in Houston. The flight arrived from New Orleans on time. The connecting flight gate was 1/2 hour walk. Perfect, or so I thought. I could de-board the plane and walk to the gate and be there just about in time to board the flight from Houston to San Francisco. Visions of home were dancing in my head like sugar plum fairies.

Then, like somebody tossing a bucket of starkly cold ice water on my dreamy visions of home, I was cruelly awakened by an obviously long-time airline employee who coldly and briskly stated over the public address system in that-they-talk-so-fast-in that muffled-allwordsarestrungtogether-can'tyouunderstand-andcatchwhati'msaying-thefirsttimeaound
youstupidclusterfuck?

Huh? What? We're going to be delayed indefinately? What did she say again? It could be 15 minutes or overnight. The airline just didn't know for sure. So, don't wander off to the bar and drink yourself silly, just stay right here at this outpost in hell with no food or water in sight and wait.

So, in wandering around the airport refusing to be tethered of promises of a short delay (I know better) I captured more of Houston's finest.

The statue of Bush reminds of that teenage taunt used when somebody bragged about something. The taunt went something like this:

Braggart: Look at what I did! Isn't it a great accomplishment?
Teen: What do you want, a statue or a medal?

Braggart: A medal.
Teen: They don't pack shit that hard.

Braggart: Well, then, I'll take a statue!
Teen: They don't pile shit that high.

Apparently, they do pile shit that high as the photo shows.

Bullshit!!!!!!!!!

One day I will not be able to hold back at conventions/meetings, and I will engage in the same type of behavior this man demonstrates.

New Orleans

These pictures were taken today after the meeting commenced. The top one is a typical street view of the French Quarter during the daytime. Night time here is pretty seedy. It's seedy during the day as well, but at night there is a seedy edginess to it that walking around off the main areas just isn't recommended. I think I would rather wander the streets of Oakland than New Orleans.

The bottom picture is that of a Dixie Jazz ensemble that played for us during our dinner at the famous K-Paul's. The pictures are not of good quality, as they were taken from my cell phone.

My hotel room overlooks Bourbon Street, and it's extremely noisy. There is a live band playing loudly almost round the clock. When the live band isn't playing, there is kareoke. It's amusing hearing whiter than white, intoxicated people who truly believe they sound like Aretha Franklin singing "Respect."

I find it ironic that New Orleans is probably the most corrupt city in the United States -- and they're proud of it. However, at the beginning of our meeting today, people here in the Bible Belt begin the meeting agenda with "prayers" on doing "God's Work." I guess it's ok to be a cheating, manipulative liar if you pray. Now I know where Bush gets it.

Houston - Bush Airport

I shit you not... these pictures were taken today with my cell phone during a layover in Houston, Texas, en route from San Francisco to New Orleans. The entire Houston airport is a mecca for pro-Bush and pro-Fox News propaganda. I suppose we could expect that of an airport named after the village idiot.

However, the connection between the pro-Bush crap and the pro-Fox News was just too much for this California girl to take. Again, this is but a small sampling of photos that I took trying not to be conspicuous. It gets worse. I couldn't WAIT to get out of there, even if the destination was smelly, noisy New Orleans.

Going to Hell

Tomorrow I get the fun-filled airport experience again. I've already ranted about the sick bastards sitting next to me on the plane, and the idiots who try to shove 50 pound trunks in the tiny, crowded overhead bins knocking other passengers unconscious in the process. This time I get the joy of flying out of San Francisco to Houston, and then from Houston to New Orleans. If I were asked if I would rather go to hell or to New Orleans, I would have to seriously ask, "What's the difference?"

New Orleans was a smelly stink-hole BEFORE the hurricane. I can only imagine it now. The entire city sits below sea level, so there is no where for sewage to run. They can't bury their dead, either, because they just pop back up.

The last time I was in New Orleans, we stayed at a hotel right on the main drag. Our room had a balcony so we had a full view of the street action. Night after night, we watched the same group of conventioneers wandering up and down the street, name badges still on, making complete asses out themselves. Added to the mix of drunken conventioneers are the college kids, and there were also people wandering the street from places like North Dakota where they're just as happy as hell to be out of the sub-zero cold and snow.

Booze and beads rule this town, and at about 4:00 AM we would hear the street cleaners coming through. They literally hose down the French Quarter each morning of all the puke and piss from the drunkards of the previous night. The smell is awful, AND there is no where for it to drain to, so it just kind of swirls around in the street.

The only thing worse than going to New Orleans is needing the stop-over in Texas. Read my "I Hate Texas" blog entry if you want to know more.

Easter Bitch

Everybody has heard of the Easter Bunny, but how many have heard about the Easter Bitch? Well, children, gather 'round and let me tell you a story.....

Once upon a time, there was a woman known as the Easter Bitch who hosted one too many holidays. For years and years, she hosted family holiday after holiday. Christmas Eve, Christmas breakfast, Christmas Dinner, New Years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, etc., were always at the Easter Bitch's house. Everybody liked coming to the Easter Bitch's house because they didn't have to do anything -- the Easter Bitch did it all.

Each holiday that the Easter Bitch hosted required hours of preparation, house cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc. And then when everybody finally left, there was the aftermath cleanup. Toys that were dumped in the middle of the floor by hyper children of oblivious parents needed to be sorted and put away. Dishes needed to be washed, dried, and put away. Pots and pans needed to be scrubbed. All of this work left the Easter Bitch tired, grumpy, and feeling that holidays were something to be dreaded.

Then one day, the Easter Bitch decided that she was not going to host family holidays anymore.
As the Easter holiday approached, the Easter Bitch did not volunteer to host the holiday, and the extended family kept on anticipating an invitation from the Easter Bitch that did not come to fruition.

Nobody else volunteered to host Easter, because they all knew how much work it was. Not one relative jumped in to take charge. Not one relative volunteered to relieve the Easter Bitch of her duties for one holiday. The Easter Bitch let it go, and allowed them all to fend for themselves.

So, the Easter Bitch ended up cooking a small, manageable ham dinner for her immediate family only. Without the added stress of hosting a full-blown holiday dinner for umpteen people, the Easter Bitch was able to take a 2 hour hike with her daughter on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and also tend to some gardening. It was bliss.

The moral of the story is: Don't kill yourself trying to please a crowd of lazy-ass relatives (especially in-laws). They're nothing but a bunch of energy-sucking vampires that will drain every essence of life force out of you. When they've succeeded and you're nothing more than a tired shadow of your former self, they will move on to their next victim.

Tech Support

A huge lesson in frustration is trying to speak with somebody from tech support who actually speaks a dialect of English you can understand. Click on the 'play' button in the above box to view a YouTube cartoon depicting the very lesson of frustration I experienced today when I needed to call tech support for my computer. I promise that if you've EVER called tech support, you'll be able to relate. I wouldn't post this on my blog if I didn't think it worthwhile.

Wine Country

One of the drawbacks of living in a stunningly beautiful area are the hoards of tourists that descend upon the area like locusts. Every year way too many people visit the "wine country" and vow to close up shop where ever they're from and move to Sonoma County to pursue a semi-retirement of wine making. Please don't.

If you do visit Sonoma County, here are some tips deflect as much hostility from the locals as possible:

1. Never, EVER say you're from New York, Texas, or Southern California;

2. You can get a drunk driving infraction for riding your bike from winery to winery dressed like Lance Armstrong through the valley. Not only will you get a DUI, you'll also get a ticket for dressing like a dork in your nut-hugging, lycra shorts;

3. Locals in full-sized Ford pick-up trucks will get as close to you as possible on your bike as you peddle through the valley without running you into the ditch. Don't take this personally, it's a local sport;

4. Your convertible rent-a-car is obvious even without the Hertz sticker on the bumper. We know who you are;

5. Theatrical wine-snob-wannabees don't need to make a public scene if don't like they wine they're tasting. Just shut the fuck up and dump it out. Nobody is impressed no matter how many times you swirl the wine around in your glass using words like "tannin" and "nose", etc., and you are just demonstrating the true jackass you are;

6. Most importantly: DON'T MISS YOUR FLIGHT HOME!

Post High School Braggers

The hobby of empty-nesters seems to be of bragging of what their offspring is doing and specifically, name-dropping schools we all should think impressive. They also like to inject in the one-way conversation the monetary value of scholarships received by their self-proclaimed, wonderful offspring and also announce to us GPA's that register into the stratosphere.

Hold on! Wait! Their kid is the second coming of CHRIST! How fortunate we are to be in their presence! The world certainly couldn't continue to revolve without them! Let's all bow down!!!

Gimme a break.

When they see that the double major in Greek Philosophy and Business administration lands them a job at minimum wage as a barista at Starbucks, because Starbucks was the highest paying employer around, we'll talk....

I'm not anti-education. I'm all for it. I'm just against wearing it like a badge and expecting special treatment. It all goes back to the old sayings that money does not buy class, and education does not buy smarts.

The Metric System

They tried to teach us the metric system back in 1970's when I was in elementary school. I was thrilled because everything was based on 10's and made SENSE. I still remember my 2nd grade teacher holding up a book titled, "Meters, Liters, and Grams."

The English system of measurement: Inches, ounces, fractions, feet, yards, gallons, pints, quarts, miles, whatever, did not have logically based computations in my world. Then one day, the metric system instruction ceased suddenly because some Americans were freaked about about a loss of national identity. I was too young to know what was going on.

Well, if the English ditched their own units of measurement system, you know it's a confusing piece of crap. I don't know why we Americans hang onto it.

Round Peg Square Hole

I am like a round peg in a square hole in regards to my job and my life. I can get through, alright.... but it's just not a good fit.

Dear Abby

Ever read the advice columnist Dear Abby in the newspaper? She's so predicable. I swear, she has a prescribed, canned response to everything and anything.

Dear Abby,
I suspect my husband is cheating on me. I found lipstick on his collar that I know is not my shade of 'coral sunset'. What should I do?
Signed,
Sad in LA

Dear Sad in LA,
Perhaps you should both go to marriage counseling.

Dear Abby,
My boss is an asshole. He is a micro-managing little prick. I want to kill him. I've thought about changing jobs.
Signed,
Cubicle Hell in CA

Dear Cubicle Hell,
Maybe you should all participate in department-wide team building counseling.


Dear Abby,
My in-laws interfere with everything we do! They are over controlling and butt their noses into our business constantly. How can I divorce her family but not HER?
Signed,
Outlaws for Inlaws, Anoka, MN


Dear Anoka,
Have you thought of joint counseling with your spouse and the inlaws? It really could help.

Dear Abby,
Have you ever thought about giving any other advice than the lame counseling suggestions? I mean, come on, are you completely out of creative answers? Or, are you afraid of being sued? Have you ever been to counseling? Most of the therapists are crazier than the people they're treating.
Signed,
Completely Bored With Your Column, Sonoma County, California

Dear Sonoma County,
You sound like an angry bitch. Have you ever considered counseling?

Girl Scouts: Peddling Toxic Fat Pills

A few of the neighborhood girls showed up on our door step peddling the infamous Girl Scout Cookies. I'm in no way a food nazi, but here are the ingredients listed on a box of Somoas:
Sugar, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (soybean, cottonseed, coconut, palm and/or palm kernel oils, THBQ and citric acid to preserve freshness), enriched flour (wheat flour niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate...... I could go on and on, but it just gets worse with items that resemble more of a chemistry experiment than a food item. You get my point.

The deliema is that I do have a heart and want to support the girls and their efforts. However, just a few extra calories for this household has us all busting out of our pants in no time. Actually, the extra calories don't bother me as much as the long list of chemicals in the cookies. These sweet-faced, innocent girls are peddling toxic fat pills with their willing, eager mothers waving 'hello' to me from the curb.

Without launching into a long explanation as to why we're watching what we eat, and how I think that the cookies are filled with artificial shit, I offered to donate money directly to their troop. This was met with sad, puppy eyes as the girls get prizes based on their individual sales volumes. See, they're too young to realize that they're being used to feed the corporate machine.

It's a perfect example as to what was once a homegrown, neighborhood effort turned into a corporate monster. I would rather purchase imperfect, slightly burned cookies made from *real* ingredients from a neighbor's kitchen than this crap they're selling now.

The corporate cookie marketing ploy works well. Who can resist innocent kids selling cookies? Yes, I ended up buying some boxes. I'm a sucker. They're sitting on my kitchen counter unopened. Would anybody like a cookie?

Completely Out of Touch with Reality

I was at an upper management meeting yesterday where participants had a direct say in deciding the wages and benefits for the employees. What completely shocked me was how a representative of the company kept on confidently stating how "cheap" goods are, and how inflation is not really happening.

See, out of touch dick-heads of a certain political persuasion have their heads buried in the sand (or should I say buried up their ass) declaring over and over to themselves and to the public that our economy is ok, and that inflation is not really happening -- we just *think* it's happening. These same dick-heads also tell us, "We're really making some progress in the war with Iraq." Bullshit.

Does this asshole, or any of his anal-likeness friends, live in the real world? I think not.

My reply to him was that inflation is *very* real to the working people and gas and groceries alone are eating more and more out of the working guy's budget. He looked at me with eyes of, "Oh, you little pathetic female looser. You're obviously not as educated or monetarily successful as I, so your little opinion will be ignored. I have several educational credentials from prestigious schools, and the formulas they use to calculate inflation are validated, and their validated formulas indicate that inflation is not happening."

I caught myself in time before I blurted out, "Of course stuff is cheap if you're rich and born of privilege. The rest of us didn't have a wealthy daddy and/or connections to set us up in business."

One day I won't be able to hold back and I will open up my mouth, blurt out what I think, and get fired. It also makes me think of how corporate management (and also with politics) that scum always rises to the top. I'll save that thought for a separate rant.

Economic Stimulus Package

The US economy is in the tanker right now. BFD. The economy is cyclical. It waxes and wanes, expands and contracts. There is no way we can expect economic expansion to last forever. Thinking that dips and retreats in the economy are unnatural is like using the same rationale a little kid uses to think that Christmas should be everyday, and then gets upset and cries when it isn't. Think about it. The last few years of economic expansion was falsely based on greedy lenders and naive borrowers creating bogus loans and grossly inflated housing values that were certain to pop.

So, true to their "save the moron" mentality that prevails in US government and politics, our elected officials have decided to create the economic stimulus package to deliver approximately $1000 to the average family. This is money the US does not have to begin with. Furthermore, a lousy $1000 will not do anything other than put off the inevitable for about three more weeks. The miniscule $1000 that the US citizen will get as an "economic stimulus" will be but a drop in the bucket in comparison to the grossly over due mortgage and credit card bills.

We all got "the letter" from the government the other day proudly declaring that our checks will be arriving from the government later on this year. Whooopppeeeeee...

I can just see the credit collection agencies timing themselves already... I'm sure they got copies of "the letter" as well, and they'll be perched and ready to attack the unsuspecting, in-too-much-debt American slob the moment the "economic stimulus" checks hit the mailboxes demanding payment for past-due obligations.

Here's the kicker: The US government desperately needs more money and wants to raise taxes, but in the same breath is sending out a few dollars in the mail trying to make us all feel better.

I'm going to send my check back with a note stating that the government needs it more than I do. Besides, the government will just try to tax me on it as income anyway. It's more trouble than it's worth. Again, it's much ado about nothing.

Texas and Taxes

Wow.... just transpose the "e" and "a" and it STILL spells two things I despise.

Taxes

Let me tell you how it will be
One for you nineteen for me
-- Taxman by George Harrison

I'm sure this time of year I'm not the only American griping about paying yet more taxes. More so than paying taxes, what irks me to no end is how in the hell the IRS comes up with these wacky rules, formulas, and exemptions. As Albert Einstein once precisely stated, "The income tax makes absolutely no sense."

The formulas are so complicated, confusing, and convoluted the IRS doesn't even know how to calculate them! And THEY'RE the ones who write this shit! Think about it. If you're ever audited, you're at the mercy of some pencil-necked, bureaucratic, looser with a power-tripping, hate-filled Hitler complex interpreting the rules in whatever way will give you as much red ass and penalties possible.

Can't you just see above described IRS auditor in action? It goes something like this, "You mean you couldn't figure out that 1.6% of the net adjusted income after gross earnings from the prior three years multiplied by the negatively amortized capital gains from this year minus the three rats asses and collective toenail clippings from the last full moon divided by the 3/8 maximum deduction rule.....

PEOPLE WHO THINK OF THIS SHIT SHOULD BE SHOT! IT DEFIES ALL COMMON SENSE! I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE WHO THINK OF THIS LAME SHIT! Watch out Sacramento and Washington, DC.... Mamma's got gun.

I Hate Texas

TEXAS DOOR BELL

I must officially apologize to my English friend's boss who visited America and hated it. My friend's boss visited Texas. Need I say more? Yes!!!

Unfortunately, we as a nation are judged by the embarrassing attitudes and behavior that Texans demonstrate, namely Bush. Texans represent everything that is wrong with American culture, or should I say lack thereof. Here is but a brief sampling as to why Texas should be annihilated off the map:

1. They are loud, obnoxious, and arrogant;
2. They're stupid;
3. They are fascinated by bright, shiny objects;
4. All problems can be solved with guns or booze (sometimes both);
5. They think everything is "bigger and better" in Texas (dated a guy from there once, and it's NOT true).
6. They watch NASCAR and pro wrestling

A clever editorial appeared in the Santa Rosa Press Democrat fairly recently that stated we should abandon the war in Iraq and take it up with Texas. Good Point.

Geeks and Nerds

I bet you thought they were one in the same. Geeks and Nerds are very, very different. Of course, there is the rare cross-over, but for the most part here is the difference. This information was provided courtesy of my 19 year-old:

Geeks: Highly intelligent. Geeks find the easy way to do something. For geeks, short cuts are a must. Geeks are great at abstract thoughts and ideas.
Geeks tend to be at their most creative between 11PM - 2:00 AM. Schoolastically, geeks do not fit into a pre-described, academic box. Typically, despite their high intelligence, they do not get straight "A's." They think school boring because school just repeats information that is already known. Geeks can't be bothered with expending their energy in known information -- they reserve their energy for discovering the unknown. Geeks are extremely creative and innovative. They will also tend to be intertwined with the subcultures such as anime and the "chans."

Nerds: Also highly intelligent, but don't ask them to invent anything. Nerds rely on using a linear thought process to solve problems. They use their mind more for rote memorization than creative problem solving. Nerds test extremely well and are the ones who look perfect on paper, but don't have a life outside of studying. They tend to be dogmatic and overly dependent on order and routine. Nerds are very good at filling out paperwork. Many of them become bureaucrats.

Geeks and Nerds get along very well, as both are society's outcasts.

Sex and Culture Washout

How can we be expected to "celebrate diversity" and such when we're not allowed to "label" any culture? We need to study each other and our differences in order to become truly culturally diverse. However, on that same note, it's socially and legally taboo to insinuate or assume any cultural labels for others at all -- even if they're correct. We can't ask about anybody's ethnic background, even if it's obvious they're from somewhere else.

That goes for the sexes, too. We're all expected to learn and respect how the differences in the sexes think and act, but yet we're all legally bound to act like sterile androgens and anything otherwise is immediately labeled as sexist.

Roman Emporer Caligula

The Roman Emperor Caligula often dressed as a god. He also commanded that the sun rise upon command each morning. And it did. I wonder if he ever commanded the sun *not* to rise in the morning.

The point is that somebody has the Caligula complex in regards to daylight savings time. I mean, really, who goes about changing clocks one hour forward and then one hour backwards two times a year. Just pick a time and stay with it. Daylight cannot be added or deleted; only schedules can be manipulated.

Mutton Dressed as Lamb

I had never heard this saying until I visited a dear friend in England. I can't remember the exact context in which the saying surfaced, but to this day, it's one of my favorites. There is no American translation that I can specifically point to that illustrates why this phrase is so cutting and direct. It just hits cunningly on so many different levels;)

Here's a sad attempt to try to translate this brilliant phrase from English to American: Everytime I see a 40'ish (or older) woman sporting her bare midriff, mini skirt, silicone boobs, lip injections, suntan, and the botox freeze-face that is so pervasive here in California, I think to myself, "Mutton dressed as lamb."

Everytime I see Nicolette Sheridan on television I think to myself, "Mutton dressed as lamb." click on photo to enlarge (no... don't! eeeeeeeeeek)

...the next phrase I'll translate from English to American will be "All fur coat and no knickers."

Gay Marriage

There's a big deal right now in California whether or not to allow gay marriage. My question to the homosexual community is this: Why are you demanding to be miserable?

Home Alone

When was the last time you were home alone? I wish I could remember actually being alone in my home. It's been years. I'm always up to my armpits in people. Granted, I do like having people in my home, but there are certain "regulars" who hang out here who never seem to go away. When it's Sunday evening and I'm getting ready for the week, I just want everybody to clear out of my way so I can actually get something *done* without tripping over 15 bodies in the process.

My fantasies are simple. Just give me a week of being alone in my home so I can clean out closets, throw stuff out, organize, etc. I've dropped not-so-subtle hints to everybody that all I really want is alone time in the house. They all just stare back at me with vacuumous eyes. It just does not register with them. They ask, "What do you want for your birthday/Christmas/Mothers' Day."

I ALWAYS say, "Just some time alone in the house so I can *really* get to some things without being interrupted."

Has it happened yet? Have I received alone time in the house? Hell no. I seems the more I plead for alone time, the more bodies I have in the house. And no, nothing gets done around here, either.

Heather Mills Money Hungry Psycho Bitch

Sorry, I can't bring myself to call her Heather McCartney because she just used him; and therefore, does not deserve to use his name.

Of course, the divorce is all HIS fault and the public just doesn't understand her. Apparently, her team of lawyers didn't understand her either, so she had to fire them all. Brilliant move, sweetheart, I'm sure you're well-versed in legal matters. Did you earn your legal credentials straddling men's laps at strip clubs? I'm sure it's a legitimate, credentialed program and all.........not.

Heather claims Paul is a drunken asshole and is abusive. I don't buy it. And, just for pathetic argument sake, just playing along that the accusations of abuse are true, all the more reason not to give Heather any of his money because she didn't really know Paul very well when they got married -- which is all the more incriminating on her part for marrying a man she hardly knew. She was sure quick enough to say, "I do" however, with no prenuptual agreement and instant celebrity/royal status.

This is the same woman who swore up and down she didn't want any part of his fortune when they were going to get married. Somehow, now that divorce is happening, $50 million just wasn't enough for this one-time topless model. I guess $50 million just won't buy her the boob jobs and plastic surgery she needs to try to attract another sucker.

Sorry, Heather, you're a money-hungry-psycho-bitch. Legally, I don't believe you have a leg to stand on (no pun intended). You'll just have to eke out a living earning money on sub-celebrity, embarrassingly pathetic television shows in the United States like "Dancing with the Stars." Pretty soon you and Fergie will be in late-night advertisements together for Weight Watchers and low-cost automobile insurance.

Attention Paul: You can do soooooooo much better...trust me.

Record Oil Prices

....and the American people are shocked? Get a brain, would you please? It's the simple "duh" factor again:
1. Bush's days in the White House are numbered (thankfully);
2. Bush's family and cronies are in the oil business;
3. Bush is making as much money for himself and oil cronies before he leaves office.

The positive side of higher oil prices it that it makes people think twice about driving somewhere when they could actually walk or ride a bike. We're all too fat anyway, and some extra exercise is good for us. It also encourages car pooling and use of public transportation.

Greedy Side of Giving

I can’t help but notice that the so-called ‘givers’ in the community have a tendency for having an agenda to promote themselves, their business, and/or their kids. I’ve seen community volunteers who really don’t give a shit about the community, but only want to get their name out to promote their business, put something on a college application to create an admission advantage for their kid(s), or create a tax deduction for themselves. Some of them just want to build their resume.

I wonder how many people would continue to volunteer if they believed they would get nothing more than the joy of giving back to the community?

I'm an idiot

I'm a complete idiot. I work, pay taxes, own less home than I qualify for, pay my bills on time, and have never been in trouble with the law. In fact, I have never been issued a speeding ticket.

Why am I trying so hard to be a good citizen? Where's the reward? There isn't any. In fact, I'm punished for being a good citizen. I have never in my life requested special consideration for ANYTHING. I'm upset that now all of these people who purchased homes well beyond their means are now going to get "special refinancing" to help them. Politicians are tripping all over themselves to aid these people who acted irresponsibly. This includes both the borrowers and the lenders.
I should just be an irresponsible, greedy, stupid slug. That's what our society rewards. I'm a stupid idiot, but not the right kind.

Please Don't Litter

Do the world a favor, STOP LITTERING! I bet you think I mean stop throwing trash along the roadsides. I kind of mean that. This has a two-fold meaning in my world. Of course, don't be a pig and leave your trash all over the place. What I really mean is STOP REPRODUCING like flipping rabbits!

Sure, have a couple of kids. Kids are great. I have a couple of my own. However, I can't figure out why on earth people have litters of kids. Trust me, there is nothing special about your gene pool that needs to be continued en masse. Plus, the direct correlation between overpopulation and the drastic effects on the environment are enough to make any thinking person sterilize themselves to the point of at least not contributing to uncontrolled population growth. Those who litter not only wreck the environment for the rest of the world, but they also must not think too highly of their offspring to bring them into a world full of pollutants, chemicals, diminishing resources, and diminishing life sustainability. Thanks a lot for your selfish short-sightedness, butt-head.

And don't get on your high horse and tell me that unchecked reproduction is "God's Way." If God's Way was not interfered by man-made, modern medicine, most of your kids would die in childhood leaving the natural balance of population in order. Not that I wish that kids die, I most certainly don't, but look at everything as a whole.

There's an environmental impact study every time somebody wants to build a garage, for crying out loud, what about for those who thoughtlessly pop out yet more and more kids? Where's the environmental impact requirements on that? Overpopulation certainly effects us more than some guy's garage addition, and city hall has an assigned army to enforce building codes if your concrete seeps 1/100 of an inch over a certain boundary compromising the overall "environmental impact" of the project! Hellllooooooooo.... Where's the busy-body-overly-controlling-government beauracracies on issues that are truly of importance and have real impact on the world? If people *thought* before they *popped* the entire world would be better off.

If you want everything here to reflect a crowded, dismal, poverty-stricken, third-world country, and believe me, we're well on our way, just keep on mindlessly reproducing. AND... for those of you who have over-reproduced the shit hole place you came from, don't think you're welcome over here. Use a rubber, take the pill, and stay away.

Program Ninnies

Everybody is whining to the government and community members at large about their constant need for money for “programs” for every imaginable reason. I already pay more than my fair share in f***** taxes and community contributions. I’m not stingy by any means; however, it’s never enough. The more you give, the more they need to build their bloated bureaucracies.

Besides, I’ve seen government and/or any taxable entity in action. Inefficiency and waste are its top two talents. I’ve also seen the ways unions operate who are supposedly for the working guy. Bullshit. They’re after winning their next election and creating overpaying jobs for relatives and friends. If the representatives for the working guy are not for the working guy, I’ve given up on forking any more money over for anything.

The pitch the money beggar always gives is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, we need to establish a program, blah, blah, blah, blah, program, blah, blah, blah, we need money, blah, blah, blah, blah program, blah, blah, blah, money.”

So, next time you call me, ring my doorbell, or give me literature begging for money you need for “programs” go look elsewhere for raiding pocketbooks. I’m done.

Viagra: The Little Blue Pill

Pharmaceutical companies are trying to take over the world. My 19-year old says it’s the baby boomer generation going from doing acid to doing acid reflux drugs. True.

There’s a pill for everything. There are now cures for symptoms that include everything from sunburn to spinal bifida. The funniest advertisements ones are for Viagra. Now, there’s something society truly needs – more horny old men! What’s the medical necessity for Viagra again????

Anyway, I love it how the television advertisements prompt Viagra-ingesting men who experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours to admit them selves to the nearest emergency room. Hell, I can think of plenty of women who would be more than happy to put that 4-hour erection to good use. Don’t waste it waiting to be admitted to the emergency room. Besides, how are you going to explain yourself upon admission? Just what are you going to say? “Uhhhhhhh I took a Viagra and I’ve had a hard-on for the past 5 hours and it won’t go down.”

Right now I’m picturing a hospital room where there are men lying on the beds in their hospital gowns that are propped up with “tent” poles like a KOA campground;) Now, there's a place where women would be happy campers.

Obama vs. Clinton

Who to vote for..... who to vote for.... hmmmmmmm.....
While each Democratic candidate has admirable qualities, it comes down to this: If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

Keep Tahoe Blue Part III

We snuck up to Tahoe for the weekend for skiing. We are fortunate to have carte blanche access to a house very near a ski resort. This ski resort we frequent is the anti-Yuppie resort that has an alternative, rebel edginess to it. If you’re looking to make the “ski scene” this is not the place for you, and quite frankly, we don’t want attention whores or Yuppie scum there anyway.

Attention Yuppies and other attention/status whores: Please go to Northstar or to Squaw Valley to prance around in your designer ski gear trying to impress complete strangers. We only make fun of you anyway, and the bartenders and café workers do nasty things to your drink/food when you get all uppity and snooty with the staff. Plus, the parking lot crowd does things to your Mercedes and BMW’s that would send you over the edge. If you have a license plate bracket that states you’re from the greater Bay Area, it’s even worse. The crappier the car in the parking lot, the more accepted it is, especially if certain stickers are on it. And no, it’s not the “Keep Tahoe Blue” sticker. That’s a bulls-eye target for the parking lot crowd if I ever saw one. It’s like sporting a giant “Kick Me” sticker.

This alternative ski resort is alternative in every sense of the word. If you know where to go and who to talk to, it’s all there for ya, if you know what I mean. God bless the geeks and freaks. The picture tells it all. We just happened to bump into a fellow freak in the parking lot as he was giving his robotic dog that he and a team of engineers built a test run. If you have not guessed already, a lot goes on in the parking lot….