I am number three out of four kids. The birth order goes like this: My sister, older brother, me, and my younger brother. Being the second daughter automatically puts me on the "perpetually ignored" list, but being ignored and underestimated has served me exceedingly well during my lifetime. It's not a pity party. It gives me a clear and unbiased perspective when it's warranted as I have zero expectations and have never taken nor borrowed a dime from my parents...not that they ever offered LOL.
I'm also the rebel of the family. I've always been one to question and not blindly follow whatever the script was. I also know that my dad was the only one in my family who actually read my dumb blog. Now that he's gone I can vent freely what I think.....and I finally stated it out loud to the rest of my family today.
Come to find out a few days ago while talking to my mom on the phone was that my older brother approached my mom and dad to do what's called a 'transfer on death dead' a couple of years ago while my dad was still alive to try to avoid taxes. My older brother wanted my parents to put their house in HIS name and HE would be the one to divvy things up upon the death of my parents between the rest of us siblings - should there be anything left as I'm hoping long term care sucks my parents estate dry so there's nothing to fight over.
RED FLAGS ARE ABUNDANT
1. My brother is a raging alcoholic;
2. My brother is a conspiracy theorist and thinks that 9/11 never happened;
3. My brother likes to play the stock market and thinks he a financial whiz (cough, cough);
4. My brother's marriage is on the rocks;
5. My brother is a cheap skate and never comes around to help my parents despite that he lives 15-20 minutes away. My sister is the one who shovels the driveway, mows the lawns, weeds the garden, takes mom and dad (while he was alive) to doctor appointments, grocery shopping, cleaning, meal prepping, etc. However, if something is to be gained for my brother financially, he is the first one there with his hand out. Don't ask me about the guns and the snowblower - I will come unglued as to how he took advantage of my parents - and that's a minor incident in the big scheme of things.
6. My brother thinks that COVID is a total hoax and does not believe in the vaccine. He posts ridiculous, inflammatory political crap on Facebook and then gets angry if people disagree with him;
7. My parents, especially my mother, thinks the sun rises and sets out of my brother's a**hole because he is the god-almighty first born BOY. The rose colored glasses are on. He can do NO wrong.
8. My brother thinks that global warming is also a hoax.
You get the drift. My older brother is a taker. My parents idolize him. While they are fawning over him as they pluck rays of sunshine out of is *ss, I'm the invisible one in the background rolling my eyes and jokingly putting my index finger in my mouth doing the "gagging" gesture as I know he has them snowed.
Well, come to find out that the 'transfer on death deed' my brother talked my parents into was not executed properly and it was returned by the county recorder. One of the mistakes was that my dad's signature was not in the right spot. Well, dad is now deceased and the whole thing is off. It's a blessing in disguise. This is NOT a do-it-yourself project - as my cheap ass brother would want everyone to believe.
I finally found the courage to speak up.
I asked my mother, sister, and older brother outright if they had thought of any unintended consequences of a transfer on death dead - like what if my brother died before my mother. That could throw the entire plan into a tailspin leaving my parents' entire estate to his wife, who is on the brink of divorcing him. I asked if the transfer on death deed scenario had been vetted by a trusted estate planning professional that included my parents' entire portfolio as my parents supposedly have a trust. Why would they need a transfer on death if my parents assets are in a trust?????
Crickets.
I'm asking hard questions. I don't care about being kicked out of the will as I expected nothing to begin with.
I'm sorry, I just don't think that my conspiracy theorist, alcoholic brother who spends his spare time looking at Q Anon propaganda and sucking whatever he can off my parents has their best interests at heart. Why would he suggest that he put their house in HIS name only and not even at least tell the rest of us siblings his plans as to WHY that was in our parents' best interest?
Sneaky.
I'm also disappointed that my parents did not tell the rest of us siblings their plan. Quite frankly, I've been financially independent since age 18 and don't expect a dime nor zero involvement in their estate. However, my sister is supposed to carry out financial responsibilities on behalf of my parents completely blind as to what's going on? She should know what is going on. My parents can't hand over the assets to my older brother while leaving my sister in the dark to do the dirty work. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. It will get ugly otherwise.
Anyway...... I let it all spill today to my mother, older brother, and my sister. I said my peace. I told them all that my mother should get a TRUSTED financial professional to evaluate the assets and the best plan of action to give my mom the best. I asked very pointed questions and possible scenarios to my mother and siblings that they could not answer - and admitted they had not thought of - hence the need to get a professional involved.... AND TO GET IT IN WRITING.
FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! It takes the unattached-to-the-outcome rebel who expects nothing to iron it out for those who expect something. At least my sister is glad I'm asking the questions she was afraid to bring up for fear of being the turd. I'll be the turd. I'm used to being the turd. I am disposable.
I feel my dad is speaking through me to make sure things to as intended. If the rest of the family is pissed at me for bringing it up I'm sorry.
