Reopening the Country

Be careful here, people.  Nobody likes being cooped up.  However, your desire (note I did not say need) to roam and reopen before we have a full handle and understanding on the current situation could cause dire consequences. 

The government had to shove us in our homes to mitigate something society had never seen before.  Now the government is playing with the notion of an economic 'soft opening.' 

Good luck with that.

What defines an essential business?  I guarantee you that whatever gets loosened up for reopening will be met with whining wails from other businesses, whether similar or not, as to why they can't reopen as well.

Here's what the whining business owners don't see.  It's actually a blessing in disguise that they are not open.  Yes, the financial punch is below the belt right now.  However, when round two of this virus wave comes back, as I'm certain it will, the blame game will be full on with employees claiming that they contracted the virus at work and that your reopening was gross negligence.   It will be difficult to prove where the virus was actually contracted from but it does not matter.  It will be expensive and time consuming for the business owner to defend - even if you prevail. 

One a separate note, the public can't handle any kind of reopening.  There's no shortage of dumb-asses disobeying proper distancing.  People are disobeying it now even with the shelter in place orders.  You give people an inch and they will take a mile.  Then they will turn around and sue the government for not properly protecting them. 

This is a no win situation.  Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. 

Let us OUT

....that is the cry we hear from bored people with no imaginations nor personal ability to look inward.  It's also the cry we hear from people who decided that reproducing was such a GREAT idea and now are stuck at home with four kids under six years old.  Now these people are bitching beyond bitching because their own kids are driving them nuts. 

DUH!!!!!  These same kids have been driving us nuts, too.  You've just been tuned out as a parent to give a 09384391. 

Now these "cute, adorable toddlers" are tearing the house apart from the inside out.  The parents have nobody to pawn them off on.  They actually have to deal with the offspring they produced.  Parents are losing their minds.  They have to actually PARENT and be responsible for the wiggly, whiny, messy, pain-on-the-ass they produced.  BTW, that does not ever go away.  When they hit 22 they come to me looking for a job which they won't get because you coddled their asses too much.  

Suck it up, parents.  Especially those who think that popping out kids like a pez dispenser gone wild is so wonderful.  Yes, they are sooooo cute and darling.  Now even you, who gave birth to them, want to drown them in the tub.  No sympathy from the peanut gallery. 

The tipping point for earth to sustain balance was 4 billion people.  We are now at 8 billion people.  Somehow you think your gene pool is so superior and you keep pumping them out without any regard to the earth and its finite resources.

Anybody who has more than two kids in this day in age is a selfish COW...and the father sperm doner is a DUNCE.  That's what we are perpetuating.  Selfish dunces. 

Scotty, beam me up. 

The Five Stages of Laundry

Fasten your seat belt, people.  I'm about to blog about laundry.  Try to contain your excitement.  I have been married to the same man for 33 years.  Yes, people really do stay married that long these days.  I can't sit here and say that it's been a perfect journey and everyday has been sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows.  Divorce papers were in the making at one point.  Anyway, my imperfect marriage can wander off the topic du jour, which is laundry and its FIVE stages.

About 10 years ago I lost it both mentally and physically.  I was exhausted and suffering from a "female" condition that would have landed most women on bed rest for months.  During this time, an exhausted Quiet Rage bellowed at her family, "THERE ARE FIVE STAGES TO LAUNDRY - DO YOU GET IT - FIVE STAGES - IF YOU DO NOT INTEND ON COMPLETING ALL FIVE STAGES OF THE LAUNDRY PROCESS DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT EVEN START AS YOU ARE *NOT* HELPING ME YOU ARE MAKING *MORE* WORK FOR ME.  [statement was made with exaggerated hand gestures much like an enraged Italian]

My family just looked at me and stared.  So I broke it down for them.  FIVE STAGES.  GET IT????????  FIVE.  DO NOT START IF YOU WILL NOT COMPLETE THEM ALL.

1.  Sort
2.  Wash
3.  Dry
4.  Fold [and now may I introduce the most important stage of all]
5.  PUT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you see?  The last stage can't be completed if the other four are not.  Stage 5 is theeeeeee most important part.  Why?  Because clean clothes end up getting mixed in with dirty clothes and then the process starts all over again.  Clean clothes all folded up neatly in a basket ready to be put away end up getting REWASHED because the cat has decided to make a bed on them, and by the time you get around to putting them away they have to be REWASHED because they are all covered in cat fur.

Clothes that are left in the washer that never make it to the dryer need to be REWASHED because they are smelling musty from being inside the washer too long.

Laundry hampers that are mixed with clean and dirty clothes all end up getting washed because I don't want to put my nose to personal parts to check for freshness - so they all get REWASHED.

Clothes that are washed and make it to the dryer but STAY in the dryer end up a wrinkled mess.  I either have to iron them all or try to get the wrinkles out by putting a damp towel in with the wrinkled clothes and hit the hot dryer cycle trying to get the wrinkles out.  

See a pattern here?   No wonder I do ganja yoga.  [breathing deeply and chanting OHHHHHM]

COVID-19 Labor Relations Nightmare

Here it comes.  I warned all of thee that the lawsuits end employee grievances were coming.  I had my very first COVID-19 work issue.  I'm sure it's just the tip of the iceberg.  First off, there are so many tentacles to this story that it would take a bottle of wine and six hours to explain.  The short version is that the employee texted his boss on a Sunday night at 9:00 (he was to report to the job at 7:00 AM Monday morning) stating he was not coming in because it was "COVID week."  That was it.  There was nothing else in the text.

COVID week?  WTF does THAT mean?  Does he have it?  Does a family member have it?

Magically, on Sunday night the following week, the employee declared that COVID week was over and wanted to report for duty Monday morning. 

Naturally, the employer was not happy as mine is an industry that has things planned 3-4 weeks in advance.  The employer took the position of job abandonment and wanted to fire him.  Of course, the employee took a different sta

Hold on a minute......the employee texted the employer stating "COVID week."  That was all the employer had to go on.  The employer had NO idea if the guy was infected himself, or if he was directly exposed, or whatever the story may be.  The employer told him to stay home for 14 days self-quarantine.

That did not go over will with Employee, as he wanted to come back to work Monday after having the previous week off.

This is where I step in.  I reminded Employee that he texted his boss late Sunday evening prior to his scheduled shift Monday stating "COVID week."  That was it.  If it turned that Employee did have the virus, it's possible that it's an OSHA record-able event as then the employer would have to contact the other employees on the job site as now they are possibly at risk.

I smelled bullsh@t from the git-go with this one.  Employee just wanted a week off and used COVID as an excuse.  I used Employee's own words against him.  I said, "You just stated  COVID week at the 11th hour in a vague text the night before your shift.  How did you know it was going to be just for the week?  The medical experts will be astounded to learn that not only can the virus see into the future, but can also tell time by behaving in exact 'one week' increments.  Please, share your miraculous medical discovery with the scientists of the world."

If you're going to try to bullsh@t me, you better be good at it.  I can smell it a mile away. 

Settling In

I'm praying for everybody around the world to settle into our 'new normal' which we previously and ridiculously suspected was climate change.

Oh no.  There's more.  Like that was the only thing we needed to worry about.

I'm begging everybody to PUH-LEEZE slow down and ask the big questions.  This is where we need to look beyond our own immediate needs.  Do you really think the governments all around the world all co-conspired to unleash an uncontrollable virus among the population without any hint of vaccine or immunity?

Well.....there's a theory that the governments HAD to all co-conspire because of the runaway impacts of global warming, but I'm not going to go into conspiracy theories here.

Where I'm going with this is that all of us at home with our thumbs up our a$$ should be grateful for the heroic efforts of the medical community.  Sure.  We are all whining that we can't go out to dinner or attend a concert or go to a friend's home.  Really?  Is that ALL you really have to gripe about?  You poor BABY.... let me wipe your sniveling nose for you with jalapeño infused sandpaper.

Think about the doctors, nurses, etc., who are dealing with this day in and day out.  They are exhausted.  How long can we tax them?  What if we all decide we're sick of staying home (no pun intended) and the virus runs rampant?  Where will all the doctors be?  Dead from exhaustion, that's where.  Sorry, you can't get your broken leg set in a cast because all doctors will be dealing with everybody who was bored being at home and decided social distancing was bull$h@t.

If we do nothing else, we should all adhere to sheltering in place for the sake of the medical community as to not to overwhelm them.  With out the medical community, who is going to save YOUR sorry a$$ if you need a doctor, as it is only yourself you seem to care about.

Microphone dropped. 

4/20 Ganja Yoga

Here ye, here ye.... today is 4/20 which is the police call for marijuana (at least in California).  Now that it's been legal for some time, I'm not sure if the police code still exists?  I'll have to ask my several family members in law enforcement for clarification.  The 4/20 police code is not the focus of my blog at the moment. 

Anyhow, today I signed up for a 'ganja yoga' class.  Yes, ganja yoga is a *real* thing here.  I shat you not.  I have never participated in a ganja yoga class before (which was online via Zoom).  Participants are encouraged to partake in whatever cannabis consumption they prefer whether it's smoking, edibles, body balms, to get their chakras open for the yoga work.

I asked if I could also incorporate wine.  Another participant wanted to know if mushrooms were acceptable.

No judgement.
Peace out.

Pick Your Poison, People

Also known as PYPP is legislation handed down from the ultimate authority, Mother Earth.  See, She is tired of humans thinking we are so superior to Her perfect, intricate design and f****ing it up in the process.  She has been throwing down warning shots for years now.  We now are faced with Her final ultimatum:

1.  Go back to business as usual and have the virus wipe out a sizable portion of the population (Russian roulette), or;
2.  Go back to business as usual and have global warming poison and then drown us (death by 1,000 cuts), or;
3.  Accept the fact we are at Her mercy and change what we value and strive for.

See, there is no more 'business as usual' and there never will be ever again.  That only leaves us with option #3.  Yes, it's going to take a huge effort to change the compass on how our world has lived and operated the last 160 years or so.  It's simply not sustainable. 

Ticked Off Vic

This guy reminds me so much of my paternal grandfather, albeit an Italian version.  Raw, crude, and to the point....but somehow you loved him....whether or not you agreed with his rants. 

One Paycheck Away.....

Each year I greet a new class of students on what to expect from a career in my industry.  Yes, my industry pays well and the benefits generous.  We're not talking about low wage jobs with no benefits.  However, I warn them several times the need to save as my industry is cyclical.  Times have been good the last 8 years or so and employees have been in the driver's seat in regard to the huge demand from employers. 

I also warn them that things can turn on a dime.  Not so very long ago in 2012 things suddenly went off a cliff and put our industry in a tail spin.  Veterans in the industry plan for this and put part of the handsome wages they earn aside when things turn sour.  They learned from experience that the good times never last forever and to save for a rainy day.  My annual speech to the newly minted employees includes the plea to save about 6 months worth of wages as our industry can take sudden and deep dips. 

Do they listen and adhere?  Hell no.

Once smug with high demand, my industry is facing 85% unemployment in some areas.  The employees are getting termination slips with no immediate prospect for re-employment.  They are freaking out.  Part of me wants to shake them with the annoying tone of a mother saying, "I TOLD YOU SO!"

Don't You Get It?

Pollution is waning.  Smog has cleared and the beautiful blue skies are visible for the first time in a long, long time.  Mother Earth is rejoicing.  Reversing the abuses we have unfurled on what gives us life is possible.  All of our constant traveling and running around is killing Mother Earth.  Mother Earth had to inject a virus on us to get us to even listen.  Being the obstinate, smug and ignorant lot we are we will return to our old ways just as soon as the perceived threat of the virus passes.

What if we all came to the conclusion that most of our running around is useless?  What, if we as a planet, decided to give Mother Earth a breather for 2 months of each year?  Don't you get it?  Business is bad for the environment.  Humans traveling around is bad for the environment.  Covid 19 is to humans as humans are to Mother Earth.  WE ARE THE VIRUS. 

What if we all decided collectively that a vast percentage of our traveling and running around is selfish?  What if we all stayed HOME more often and actually LIVED in our neighborhoods?  Look at all the creativity that is blooming right now as people have to search for things to do.

There is so much positivity that is happening right now.  Don't you get it? 

American Classic Cars

All of the car shows have been cancelled due to COVID-19.  I'm not necessarily a car person, but it's fun to be with people who share a love of yesteryear along with the music.  Sorry, but NO COUNTRY ON EARTH has the upper hand on our music from the 1920's - 1960's.  Wait a tick.  The British Invasion of the 1960's deserves an honorable mention.  Where would we be without the Beatles? 

Back to American music.  

I don't know if any of you have seen the movies Hollywood Knights (c. 1980) or American Graffiti (c. 1974).  They are not cinema masterpieces by any means, and the music is better than the script.  Both movies take place in California during the early 1960's -- a magical time.  Enjoy. 

Not Stuck In Mexico - The Cat Came Back

...rumor has it that my former assistant has returned from Mexico.  She initially ran off there to be with her boyfriend.  But.....the cat came back....she couldn't stay away....the cat came back the very next day.  The cat came back, thought she was a goner.  The cat came back, she wouldn't stay away.  The very next day she was home sweet home. 

Last I heard she was trying to trim a tree branch at her home in Sonoma County (as of two days ago). 

Croquet

Croquet......do you know how to play?  I used to.  I kind of remember.  I played it as a kid quite a bit growing up in Minnesota.  I just ordered a croquet set.  Why?  Because I think this whole shelter-in-place (SIP) is going to last a long time and I yearn for an outdoor activity the family can play that does not tear up the yard (i.e., horse shoe pit) nor cost a fortune in install (i.e., bocci ball). 

You watch.  Lawn games are going to skyrocket this summer. 

Pleasant Valley Sunday

.....yet another song written by Carole King, but that's for another day.

It's raining here in Sonoma County.  Being we are all stuck at home the rain gives the day a comfy-cozy feel.  It's like the day after Christmas where everybody is lounging around in their pajamas just relaxing.  There's no guilt for just binge watching whatever junk tv you feel like as going outside is not in the cards today.  This whole shelter-in-place feels like the week between Christmas and New Years Day.  Nobody really expects anybody to be super productive.

Let's rant about people hoarding groceries.  I have a theory.  I don't think it's necessarily people hording stuff, it's people who are trying to purchase non-perishable foods so they limit the number of times they have to go to the store.  Each time you leave your home you increase your chances of contracting the virus.

I do have a question:  What is going to happen when the virus infection cases start to wane and people think that it's safe to gather together again?  The virus is still active.  Social distancing helped slow down the spread initially.  Won't it be even more dangerous later on as people are going to have a false sense of security and the virus will just come back with a vengeance?