Minnesota Winter: Severe Weather ALERT!

Chinese Food - check
Pizza - check

Toxic Toys from 1970's

Allow a trip down memory lane.  Do you all remember Stretch Armstrong?  My little brother had one, and I was curious.  What was inside that thing?  If you punched it, it was like hitting a wall of cement.  If you pulled the arms just so, they could circle the earth.  If you threw it across the room it would go through the wall.  Just WHAT was that mysterious filling on the inside that made it all possible?  So, I cut Stretch Armstrong open with a knife.  A gooey, clear gel came out that to this day I still can't figure out just exactly what in the hell it was.  Whatever.  My little brother was pissed as hell for ruining his toy.

While we're on the the subject, do you all remember Slime?  It came in like a little plastic garbage can that made a fart sound when you took it out.  It was an oozy green slime that would immediately pick up pet hair, dust, cracker crumbs, or whatever else was on the surface of your kitchen floor.   After a bit it was like playing with a giant booger.  Ahhhhhhhh.... fun times.

Then we get to Pop Rocks.  I don't want to come off as a wimp, but sometimes Pop Rocks hurt like HELL!  It was like having a shot gun bullet go off in your mouth.   1976 Bicentennial fireworks for the mouth.  Ouch.

Bottom Line:  Who had the initial idea of packaging up toxic waste and passing it off to kids as a toy?  Brilliant. 

I think I have some old airplane glue in the garage.....  possible toy??????

Colonoscopy Can Save Lives!

That's a good thing, according to an article printed in Thursday's Santa Rosa Press Democrat.  However, the unpleasant procedure deters people from having the exam done.  Here's the problem that I see.  Dr. Sidney Winawer is quoted in the article as describing the colonoscopy by saying, "Sure, it's a pain in the neck.  People complain to me all the time."

Excuse me, but if a colonoscopy is a "pain in the neck" I question the credentials of the doctor;) 

Just sayin'.......

Figure Skating vs. Roller Skating

Not the usual angry, bitter rant today but just an observation.  I'm a pretty good figure skater.  I'm also an ok roller skater.  I'm definately not competition worthy, but I can glide on the ice, spin, etc., and look like I know what I'm doing.  At the roller rink I could hold my own, skate backwards and not fall head first. 

My point in all of this is that I think rollerskating is more difficult than figure skating.  Why?  I think rollerskating feels like I have lead blocks on my feet.  Roller skates are heavy and akward.  The wheels demand a lot of effort to spin and do other tricks. 

Figure skating, on the otherhand, feels light.  Blades provide for precision with a lot less effort.  Turning, spinning, etc., don't require the hard force on your ankles that the clumsy wheels do.  When I rollerskate I feel like I'm driving a car without power steering, as the simplest moves take such an exaggerated effort.  Figure skating is smooth and easy in comparison. 

Moral of the story:  Have respect for rollerskaters. 

War on Contraceptives

What's with narrow-minded freaks who are all wigged out about contraceptives?  It's all in the wording of it, people.  Anybody with half a brain knows that birth control pills are prescribed for reasons other than birth control.  Many times they are prescribed to regulate a woman's cycle, stop abnormal uterine bleeding, or provide relief from ovarian cysts, etc.  Just change the name from "birth control pills" to "menstrual regulation aids"  and maybe just then the anti-woman morons will STFU. 

Bitter Bitch

Yup.  That's me.  I am a bitter bitch because people I have completely trusted with my heart have lied to me and shit on me.  I used to be a very trusting giving soul, but now every kind gesture shown to me screams of some hidden agenda and how I am useful in the process to get what the using liar needs.  This bitter build up has evolved over four decades.  I keep looking for genuine kindness, but I get shot down repeatedly.  That's why my circle of friends is incredibly small.  I have TONS of superficial friends and don't lack social interaction, but I have very VERY few close ones. 

I have had liars sincerely look into my eyes and feed me shit.  This is not just in the realm of personal relationships, either.  One employee I completely trusted and stuck up for when others found criticism embezzled $100,000 from me.  Ouch. 

I don't even trust a therapist to help me with my lack of trust issues.  I guess I'll just have to vent on this useless blog and trust that there are at least a few good people out there.  Problem is that I know I'm lying to myself.  

Clean

There is a common stereotype that depicts poor people as being sloppy and dirty, and rich people as being neat and orderly. It was pointed out to me at a young age that it does not cost anything to be clean and neat. 

Come on Fuhuquagads

It was about this time when I realized my son was destined to be a computer geek -- and I mean that in the HIGHEST of respect.  Enjoy the flashback -- and EVERYBODY TO THE LIMIT!

Komen vs. Planned Parenthood

So some right-winged-control-freak nut jobs (mostly men from the south) have tried to use their political clout to carry out their personal crusade against abortion by cutting Komen funding to Planned Parenthood.  What a bunch of idiots. 

All of this attempt of trying to control other people's lives (especially women) reminds me of a skit the late George Carlin did.  George went on a rant about how the anti-abortion crowd was so hypocritical.  George went on about how the anti-abortion crowd went to great lengths about forcing their opinion on everybody else, but then went on.......... "They (anti-abortion fanatics) don't give a shit about you once you're born as they're the first ones who want to cut welfare and other social services."

Look at what Planned Parenthood does.  They provide a safe place for factual information and choices without religious dogma bullshit or half truths.  Somewhere out there is a person who is terrified of being beaten because she is sexually active, and Planned Parenthood is providing a very valuable service.  Don't give me the lame argument that abstinence is the answer.  Sex is as much of being human as hunger and eating.  Denying it does not make it go away. 

Over the years I have given money to both the Komen Foundation and to Planned Parenthood.  I will no longer donate to Koman and I will triple the amount to Planned Parenthood. 

East Bay Whiners

About a year ago I was released from the financial day-to-day operations of my "East Bay Whiners."  Why?  Because I was honest and did not tell them what they wanted to hear -- they could not afford their lavish business operations long term.  They were going to go broke.  I refused to play financial games to puff their financial statements, either.  That's when I got the axe.  The auditor also agreed with me, and lo and behold he was also let go.  They found people who would tell them what they wanted to hear and partake in their financial delusion that everything was fine if they manipulated the numbers just so.

So, I resigned without fanfare and handed everything over to the new, better, smarter team that could perform the miracle of pulling money out of their asses to make payroll. 


A year passes....  I see the director of Club East Bay Whiner and he begins to wave an audited financial statement in my face declaring on how financially sound they were, bought new cars for the staff, and hired new personnel in the valley.  Great.  Glad to hear it. 


However, my business counterpart and I have decided to go a different direction and terminate our contract with Club East Bay Whiner.  No big deal, right?  They don't need us and our lousy little contributions, right?  We're more trouble than what we're worth, right? 


My cell phone started ringing off the hook.  Director of Club East Bay Whiner was begging and pleading for us to continue our contributions as if we didn't we would financially SINK them.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????  I thought how financially sound they were two days prior when Director was waving financials in my face (which I refused to take and/or read as I resigned from that function). 


If the lack of our little contributions will sink Club East Bay Whiner, I guess they weren't all that financially sound to begin with -- as I tried telling them over and over and over again.  Where's THAT information in their team of new financial wizards? 


Bottom line:  They are all ex state employees.  State employees have no clue how to manage money and thinks that it grows on trees.  They stare at you bewildered when you say you don't have any more to give. 


Buh-bye..... 

February: Valentine's Day

I can't believe it's February already.  I'm still vacuuming up pine needles from the Christmas tree.  This weekend I SWEAR I will get the boxes of Christmas ornaments back up into storage that are sitting in the garage. 

Little known fact:  I was supposed to be born on Valentine's Day, and my name was supposed to be Valerie.  Mother Nature had alternate plans.  Whatever.  Who cares. 

Valentine's Day was always a crappy holiday for me.  To this day it strikes of the awkward teen phase where my friends would always receive tokens of admiration from their secret admirers and a sweet gesture from their parents -- like a small gift of candy and a note stating how they were loved and appreciated. 

As for me, I would be lucky to get a melted, smashed Hershey kiss enclosed in a card that said, "ha ha..... I bet you thought this was smeared dog shit"  from one of my brothers.  It was just as bad as April Fools Day..... maybe worse....  I wish this Hallmark holiday would be obliterated off the calendar. 

On the humorous side:  my brother-in-law has a birthday on Valentine's Day.  His neighbor, who looks just like Cliff Claven from Cheers once proclaimed, "Your birthday falls on Valentine's Day?  Does that happen every year?"  

Tax Season

Yes... it's that magical time of the year.  Why do I need to fill out endless paperwork to justify keeping my own money?