Immigrant Song

Tonight on the History Channel there was a show on what people go through to become legalized citizens of the United States. They had emotional, heart-wrenching stories. They came from impoverished nations, war zones, and other you-name-it-hell. Their dream? To live in the United States and become a proud, productive, citizen.

The buracracy involved in the process is mind boggling. The red tape is never ending. Still, these new residents RESPECT the laws of the land and are ensuing tremendous hardship to be here legally.

When listening to their stories, I actually cried. I wanted to shout through to them at the television, "JUST GO THROUGH THE MEXICAN BORDER -- EVERYBODY ELSE DOES!"

Now tell me, just how is it FAIR to the immigrants who are actually playing by the rules in comparison to the swarms of illegals coming up through Mexico? It's not. The legal immigrants actually want to productively partake in society instead of just popping out anchor babies to ensure staying here, and getting pissed when they aren't coddled and given hand outs for life, and then suing because road signs aren't posted in Spanish.

Sorry, Mexico, you don't have a monopoly on misery. There are plenty of other shit hole countries people are desperately trying to escape from to come here. Just what makes you think you're so special and deserve illegal entitlement and can break all the rules getting here? I dare you to answer. Oh, I forgot.... no hable Inglais. How convenient.

The Ballad of Antoine Dodson

Chalk One Up for Plastic Barbie

I went to Vegas not too long ago on a business trip. Vegas = excess, plastic, over-the-top, LA only east. Me = broody, bitchy, simple.

Considering the events going on in my life, I thought the business trip to Vegas would allow some time to just hibernate in my hotel room and just get caught up on my reading. You know... gotta LOVE the direct flights from Sonoma County to Vegas. It's actually easier to get to Vegas than it is to drive to Reno/Tahoe anymore.

Anyway, long story short I ended up at a casino bar in Vegas. It was dinner time. There wasn't any seating available, so I sat the bar to order some appetizers for my dinner. I was NOT trying to attract a mate.

From out of the blue, the bartender approaches me and says that the guy from across the bar wants to buy me a drink.

What? Some young, studly guy wants to buy ME a drink? Must be a joke.

Of course, my skepti-radar goes into high detection mode. The couple sitting next to me at the bar were talking about uber-superficial subjects, which made me cringe, and also automatically assume they were from LA. My judgmental attitude automatically labled them as Ken and Barbie. I was not impressed at the conversation I was overhearing, but kept my head low and did not say anything.

Long story short, LA Ken and Barbie caught on to the Don Juan who was trying to pick me up at the bar. They sensed my hesitation and anxiety. Barbie and I then started chatting. We actually found several subjects of mutual interest.

Don Juan was making his move over to approach me. Barbie and Ken were getting to head out to their dinner reservation. Barbie and Ken took a protective approach for me -- they slipped me a $10 bill (to pay for the drink he "bought" me) and told me to get rid of that loser. Pronto.

I will never forget that random act of kindness, and how stupid I felt in prejudging this lovely couple just because they were from So. Cal.

Christmas Assholes

Well HO, HO, HO to you all, too. This time of year seems to bring out the worst of human behavior when it's *supposed* to be about peace, love, etc., etc., etc., etc., ........................ you get my drift.

Impatient drivers, pushy shoppers, rude people, etc., etc., etc., ...........you get my drift.

The message is, "I love Jesus so much that I will maim a fellow human being to get the latest, material (fill in the blank) for my little Johnny from Santa Clause, at any price, and FUCK THE REST OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. Nice message, people.

No, I don't get up at 3:00 AM the day after Thanksgiving to shop. I would not be caught dead with those brainless morons pushing doors open to purchase gifts their spoiled brat kids will toss aside within 48 hours after opening.

No, I don't get up at 3:00 AM the day after Christmas to "get the sales." Who in the f*** cares? I already have enough tape, wrapping paper, bows, lights, cards, ornaments, etc., to last a few lifetimes and their surrounding communities. Oh, I should also mention I already possess a "hip swinging Santa." .... made in China (of course).

Sorry, I'd rather bitch on this useless blog, drink wine, and sleep until noon than partake in the brain dead consumerism that obsesses this culture.

Yeah, we NEED another Target store in Sonoma County.... Move to Rohnert Park if it's that important to you. You'll fit in with all the other moo-mom-cows in your "mom jeans." Aren't you late for a tupperware party, candle party, or something? Or, did you get kicked out of your Bunko group and need somewhere to go on Thursday nights....

Public Life, Private Life, and Secret Life

I can't remember where I heard this, but somebody obviously MUCH smarter than myself determined that we all have a public life, private life, and a secret life.

Just think of the masks we wear at our jobs, with our communities, etc. We all try to lead perfect-looking lives. Heck, WE have it all together, right? Look at how many strive to portray the "perfect" life when just underneath the surface calamity prevails.

What eventually happens is that the "non-perfect" part of ourselves surfaces no matter how much we try to keep it under wraps. What would people think if they discovered WE were NOT perfect? The SHAME! Yet, we all have parts of ourselves that don't fit neatly into society's little mold of expectations.

What do we do with that? Well, we create our private lives and our secret lives. Depending on your degree of demons, private lives and secret lives may or may not communicate with each other.

The moral of the story? Make sure that prior to getting married you *know* what the private and secret "non-perfect" tendencies are with your mate, and that they are compatible with your own.

Believe me.... they will eventually make themselves known.... by then the damage could be horrendous.

Banarama SUCKS!!!!!!

If there is one techno group from the 80's that deserves total cruification, it would be BANANARAMA. This pre-spice-girl Eurogroup lacked basic talent on all levels. Their "Cruel Summmer" was cruel on all accounts. Their music sucked, and many adolsencsnce committed suicide listening to their techno-garble as they chocked their last breath of life.

FREEBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!