2010 Olympics Closing Ceremony

After 16 days I am sick of Canada's only attempt at a national image is that of the Canadian Mountie. Come on. We all know how much you love hockey, moose meat, and donuts.

Canadians do have the ability to laugh at themselves (for the most part) as demonstrated tonight at the closing ceremonies with a parade of giant, inflatable, beavers. Enough said. Moving on. I'm sure pun intended.

Canadians are very friendly until it comes to hockey. They will give you the shirt off their backs until they find out you're from the opposing hockey team. It's at that point they will douse you with gas and light you on fire, smile, and rub their hands in the warming glow as you turn into a pile of ashes before their eyes. Oh well, at least you served a purpose to them.

I would know growing up in Minnesota. Many Americans consider Minnesota to be a part of Canada. Well, we are..... kind of.

Talk to my BFF Mich who has kids playing hockey back home. They travel to Canada for tournaments. Here is a statement from Mich regarding Canadians and their so-called friendliness. "Canadians are cut-throat psychos. They have a Jeckyl and Hyde personality disorder when it comes to hockey. They especially hate losing to U.S.A. teams. I guess their having winter 4 minutes longer than us totally affects their brains and sense of well-being."

Anyway...... I'm off track. What I missed about this year's Olympics was any reference to Bob & Doug McKenzie and to April Wine -- the ultimate in Canadian icons. I'm sure 95% of you have no clue what I'm talking about. For us who grew up close to the Canadian border, we truly missed it.....

So I will close with this....

What I Miss About Minnesota

I called my BFF today on her cell phone. I asked what she was doing. She replied, "I'm standing outside my neighbor's house in the snow eating Hagen-Daaz ice cream and having a cocktail."

Wish I was there.

Donations

Just about every school in every town in America is looking for donations -- especially in California. It's pretty sad that money is scrounged from couch cushions by parents trying to make the public education system work.

Anyway, asking local businesses for donations is always a mixed bag. Truly, we hate to ask. I think I would rather cold call strangers or schedule myself for a root canal than pounding the pavement begging.

It's for the kids. That's the mantra that keeps me going. Anyway, during my tenure of begging, I've noticed a strange pattern.

Local business who are struggling are by FAR more generous than the corporate big-box stores. It's sad because the local businesses don't have it to give away, but they are giving despite the economy. They are truly a part of the community. Here's an example typical fund raising scenario:

I walk into locally owned and operated Joe's Hardware, and the manager greets me by name. He knows my kids are in the local public school system and knows why I am there. Without even flinching, he offers a gift certificate for $X amount for the silent auction. As I am leaving, two of his long-time employees bid me farewell and wish me luck on my efforts. Heck, they will be at the same fundraiser as well, and we will more than likely share a drink together.

I walk into a corporate store (i.e., Staples, Michaels, Target, Trader Joes, etc.) The manager is nowhere to be found. The pimple-faced assistant to the assistant manager on duty will field my donation request only if I fill out a 10 page form for submission to corporate headquarters on the east coast. Once submitted, it will be routed to the "community involvement" branch for corporate approval. If approved, we may be allocated a percentage of sales for the period of three weeks prior to the end of their fiscal year-end close. However, we won't know of any definate donation amount until their stock value posts ten days after final audit report submissions.

Fine. Whatever. We, as schools, are desperate and will take what we can get. When I go to follow up on the donation request, the employee contact is no longer working there, and the paper trail has been lost. I am met with practiced sorrowful, not-quite-seemingly-remorseful eyes and a plethorea of apologies that I need to start the application request all over again.

Whatever. I still don't have anything concrete from big box stores I can put out on the silent auction table for people to bid on or to put in a basket on Saturday night.

Tell me again just HOW big box stores are helpful to the community other than for gross exploitation?

Napa Mental Hospital Exec Jailed in Sex Case

This is about as sick as it gets, folks. Ed Fuck, oh excuse me, I meant Ed Foulk has been jailed for 35 counts of child molestation. Well, he was busted for molesting his 10-year old foster child. Apparently, this isn't the only poor victim out there.

What mystifies me is that extreme screening is needed for potential state employees prior to being hired. What I don't get is that this foulker (pun intended) has worked in management positions for other mental health facilities. What the foulk is going on here, folks?

Mr. Fuck holds the executive position for the State of California's only mental health prison. Pretty soon he'll be a resident. At least he'll be familiar with the lay of the land (pun intended). Either way, he has been a waste of my hard-earned tax money keeping this sick-o employed and now keeping him alive.

Justice will be served.... usually involving a group shower and picking up soap.

Come on, California. Can't you find somebody without criminal tendencies to fill your grossly overpaid executive positions?

It's My Birthday

...well, not exactly...
There is a guy I work with who reminds me of John Wayne without manners. He is just a big, drunken, loud-mouth slob who doesn't even know he has his foot in his mouth. Now, if he could only find homes for his other limbs in various body orifices... I think you catch my drift.

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but it just goes to show you money doesn't buy class. His own kids can't stand him.

Anyway, this drunken loud-mouth has "find-a-credit-card-expense-account-holder-o-meter" attached to his head. That would be me. I swear to goddesses, I could be 1/2 a world away walking down a street in Timbuktu and he would pop out of a tavern, knock me down with a bear hug, and invite me in for 'just a little drink.'

The story is always the same. He announces it's his birthday. That's my cue to pick up the tab and put it on my expense account. So far, this guy has had a birthday in February, June, and September. The story is so pathetic, I find it amusing.

Income Taxes and the IRS

I'm in a rather bitter mood (shocker, huh) because I spent my entire Saturday filing my federal and state income taxes. More than being a tedious waste of my time with convoluted formulas and exemptions that make sense to none, the end result is always the same -- send in more money.

I don't get it. I see the commercials on television with people jumping around for glee at their mailboxes at the arrival of the tax refund checks. I see Wall Street executives jumping around for glee at their bailout at my expense. For me, it's tears and sobs as the government extracts yet even more money from me.

We are not off-the-charts wealthy. We claim zero exemptions. We own a modest house. We own cars over 5 years old. We are honest. We are middle class. We are getting screwed.

I can see what I need to do... I need to LIE, CHEAT and STEAL to get anywhere. Being an honest working joe gets you nowhere. As I was driving home after dropping off the tax forms at the mailbox, I began to wonder as to why I am working at all. The government just takes it from me. Those billionaires who are receiving bailouts just take it from me. Those slackers on the public dole just take it from me. The tax dodgers just continue to weave, bob, and duck without paying their fair share. Why work at all? It just doesn't pay.

My mind then went the guy who kamakazied his plane the other day into an IRS building in Texas. Without even knowing the entire story, I can honestly say that I feel his frustration at the "system" and why it completely sucks. Too bad the pilot was the one who died -- we need more people like him to turn things around. He is my 'hero of the day.'

2010 Olympics

I love watching the Olympics... As my family pointed out several times already it's the only time they have ever seen me actually sit down and watch something for longer than 5 minutes.

It's also interesting to watch the television commercials. It's a strong indicator as to which industries have money -- kind of like Superbowl commercials. I've seen a proliferation of ads during the Olympics for: McDonalds, Coca Cola, pharmaceuticals, and GE health care.

Does anybody else get the irony of it all????

The Environment is Bad for the Economy

One day we will learn that we can't have it both ways. We can't preserve our environment and the economy at the same time. Industries that produce salaried jobs ultimately pour toxins into the environment.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to be better stewards of the earth. We most certainly should. I'm just trying to point out how far off we are in living in tune with nature. Our whole center of existence has moved away from our source.

Mother Nature will win -- she will eventually puke us up as the disgusting, polluting virus we are like bad sushi from the night before. Mother Nature can live without us, but we can't live without her. My, we are arrogant, selfish creatures, aren't we?

The Tortillia Curtain

The 'Bored Moms on Prozac Committee' is at it again. They are now stirring up shit with the Santa Rosa School Board in regards to the book selection The Tortilla Curtain.

The complaint is that the book contains sexism, racism, blah, blah, blah..... Anybody who has ever spent any time at a public high school knows that what really goes on is far worse than any stupid book could ever depict. Come on. Are the parents that out of it?

My bet is that it's the kids of the Bored Moms on Proazac who are the worst offenders. That's usually the case. "Not my little Jane/Johnny" usually has the worst potty mouth, manners, and deep seated psychological issues in regards to whatever their parents are soap-boxing about.

Tell you what, all the controversy is ENCOURAGING them to read the 'forbidden' book that has everybody so hyped-up.

So, shut the fuck up, go home, and do society a favor and don't reproduce anymore. Some of us have real problems.

The Man Wants You to be Fat and Complacent

Ever notice that the United States stopped investing in education in the 1960's when the protests were at peak? Why??? Because an educated public is the government's worst fear. Public education has been on the back-burner ever since.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they (the government) blabs about "no child left behind" and other useless, bureaucratic bullshit that accomplishes nothing but more paperwork to create more administrative jobs for friends and relatives.

Believe me. They don't WANT you to question things. It would burst their self-made bubble. Plus, the vast majority would be out of a government job and may have to actually WORK to make a living.

The politicians repeat to each other daily, "Keep 'em dumb and ignorant and control is inevitable. Invoke fear tactics to keep 'em in line if they start questioning things. Keep talkin' in circles with big words that mean nothin' and confuse 'em. Threaten to take away NASCAR broadcasting viewing if they act up. They'll straighten up and back off, all right...."

The government treats us no better than the niggers of the last century. We work our asses off for "the man" and "the man" could not give a shit less about us. If we start to question things, they will toss us a bone like a miniscule "economic stimules" check in the mail to the tune of about $700 bucks. That might buy a set of tires and make us feel ok for about a day, but the lingering shit is still there and has not gone anywhere.

Repeat to yourself in the mirror daily, "I am NOT the government's nigger!"

BTW..."Nigger" is all of us of ALL colors. The reference "nigger" is used to mean to keep a group down and use them for another group's economic advantage.