Marin Symphony

Tonight was the season finale for the Marin Symphony. I had two tickets, so I brought my 19 year-old along with me. It was take-your-breath-away-raise-hair-on-your-arms-bring-tears-
to-your-eyes moving. The tickets were given to me, and I felt that I
should use them so they wouldn't go to waste. Wow! I'm sure glad we went.

I couldn't help but think about all the different instruments putting in their tones at just the right time to make such masterpieces come alive. It would be easy for one player in the orchestra to assume a thought like, "Well, I only chime in on three bars in the third movement. What difference does it make if I'm there or not? I'm completely drowned out by the violin section, so what's the point?"

It DOES make a difference. It's when the musicians are focused together and all the subtle notes and rests are in sync with each other when the magic of it all occurs. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I couldn't help but then apply that same thought to every person on this earth. We all have a part (instrument) to play, no matter how great or small, and it DOES make a difference if we participate or not.

Kids Running Amok

I had a general conversation today with a fairly large group of men in regards to what's wrong with kids today. It was small talk waiting for the meeting to begin. The comments being put out there were that kids today were running amok and getting into trouble. The reason for that, according to the group of men I was with, was that both parents worked and nobody was around to supervise or guide them. Subtext: It's all because women are in the workforce and are not balled and chained to the kitchen.

What I found so ironic, and I *really* had to bite my tongue, was that the guy spouting off the loudest about non-supervision has two kids. He is one of those fundamentalist, Bible-thumbing, self-righteous Christians who is an obsessive control freak. His boy has been in jail more than once, smashed up countless cars, and has had a D.U.I. infraction. His daughter got pregnant at 16. The daughter couldn't figure out what caused it and gave birth again at 19.

It took every ounce of my being not to get in his face and ask where the "supervision" was when his son was driving drunk and when his underage daughter was fucking some guy.

Marriage Advice

It's wedding season, and I have some advice to offer women prior to saying "I do."

I'm not proclaiming myself an expert by any means. However, I have been married to the same man for 21 years. One myth that I want to permanently delete is the Disney version of life by getting married to your Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Another myth I want to delete is "soul mate."

Here's the truth: Your mission for marriage is to find the person who's annoying habits and personality flaws you can tolerate the most.

Some tips and traps to seriously consider, because I guarantee they will raise issue down the road.

1. Is he a slob? Picking up after him will get old *very* quickly. You don't want to take on the role of being his mother.

2. What is his relationship with his family? Like it or not, you're marrying them as well. Family holidays and who to spend them with (or not) are fodder for divorce.

3. What is his relationship with his parents -- especially his MOTHER?

4. Is he financially responsible? What's his credit like? Does he have a tendency to spend more than he earns? Can he hold a job? Another subject for fodder for divorce. Does he pay his bills on time and balance his checkbook? If not, understand that you will be taking on the role of family bookkeeper.

5. Does he respect you and your interests? This issue usually raises its head after a child is born. You will need time to yourself to do whatever and be with friends. Will he respect that and be willing to be an active father? Don't marry somebody who thinks that fatherhood ends at conception.

6. Do both of you share the same vision of the future? I don't mean 10 years from now -- I mean 20-30 years from now.

7. Many of my friends complain that their husbands are too much work. They complain that it's like having another child.

8. What are your religious and/or spiritual beliefs (if any). Do your beliefs sync with each other?

9. Is he a workaholic? If yes, know that your life will be very similar to being a single mother.

10. What are his views on gender roles? How does he view women in general? Does he view women as 'objects'? Does he view women as being lesser than men? You are a woman, and his views will carry over to how he treat/views you regardless of what he may tell you.

11. What does he like to do (or not do) after work? If he comes home and plants his ass on the sofa with the television remote, or plants himself in front of the computer screen OR hangs out with his friends, be warned. Most of you women will also work outside the home AND take care of children when they come along. When you come home from work you will NOT be relaxing as there are the household chores to contend with along with issues with the children. Inequity of household chores is HUGE.

12. He knows when something is wrong. When he asks what's wrong, don't purse your lips, tilt your head and quip, "Nothing." He's not a mind reader. TELL HIM WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU!


With the passing years your relationship with your husband will continue to evolve and change. Above all, make sure that you both will commit to working out problems and give him a chance to change before throwing in the towel. Don't forget that YOU might be the one who needs change as well.

Mah-Kumheer Ahneed

Next time I fly I expect to be on the government's "watch" list or "no fly" list (yes, such a scary profile does exist in America, for our own protection from terrorists of course). The reason why is that my name has been changed to a very terrorist profile sounding "Mah-Kumheer Ahneed".

Mah-kumheer Ahneed is not my given name. It's something that has evolved over time. However, my feeling is that there are LOTS of Mah-Kumheer Ahneeds and to single me out would just be unfair. Here's how the name evolved...

Daughter: Maaaaaaaaaawm!

Mom: What?

Daughter: Come heeeeere. I need you!

Mom: What? What do you need?

Daugher: Come here, please...

Mom: What do you need?

Daughter: I need to show you something.

Mom: Well, bring it to me. I'm busy in the kitchen.

Daughter: I can't bring it to you. You have to come here. Mom, I need you.

Mom: Well, it will have to wait. I'm up to my elbows in cleaning out the frige at the moment.

Daughter: Puh-lllleeeeeezzzzz come here? It can't wait.

Mom: Tell me what it is you need?

Daughter: Mah-Kumeer Ahneed you!

Foreclosure.com

Want to see something scary? Point your web browser to www.foreclosure.com

Click on any state and then from there you can zero in on your county, neighborhood, or zip code.

Most of the adjustable rate mortgages are due to reset between now and June of this year. I don't think we've seen anything yet.

Starbucks: Small, Medium, and Large

Everyday is Earth Day for Uncle Joe

Happy Earth Day.

I guess all things come full-circle. Not so many years ago people looked down at my Uncle Joe (read blog dated April 14th) because he lived in a small, wooden cabin that is sparsely furnished with hand crafted wooden furniture. His washing machine is an old-fashioned wringer from the 1940's. He hangs his clothes to dry. He grows his own food and raises his own chickens for meat and eggs. Basically, he lives off the land and respects the land for what it gives him.

Now all of a sudden Uncle Joe has been magically deemed the ultimate "environmental champion" by the same yuppie scum that scoffed at him not that long ago. All of a sudden his way of life is chic and fashionable and people are yearning to copy his lifestyle.

Sometimes just by standing still you win the race.

The Pause Between the Musical Notes

I have been absent from my daily ranting and bitching on this blog. My older brother and his wife came out from Minnesota to visit. They have never been here before, so everything was new. I always have a mix of both happiness and apprehension prior to receiving visitors. Happy that I'm getting guests, but worry about having everything "just right."

Having guests also reminds me of the importance of family and friends. I tend to get caught up in the day-to-day bullsh** with the job and keeping the household on track. Both the job and keeping the household on track demand constant attention to minute details that in the big scheme of things just don't really matter. It will suck you down with it if you allow it. Before you know it you're consumed with work issues and/or keeping enough paper towels on hand.

With guests I feel free to ditch all my day-to-day mundane chores to enjoy their company and have some fun. I'm free to take a vacation without going on vacation. No packing or plane trip required. I also enjoy being on the go with my guests and doing the tourist thing in my own town. It's amazing what I don't know. Each time I visit Alcatraz, I pick up another little bit of information that I missed on previous trips.

Aside from doing the busy tourist thing, I think the best part of having family and friends visit are the times when we're riding in the car, relaxing on the back deck, or other seemingly non-eventful moments. There's always a little phrase said that sparks laughter, the song on the radio that begs bad sing-along vocals, and other little things that create a deepening bond with that person. It's the little things said and done during the non-event that develop relationships. It really is the pause between the notes that creates the music.

Uncle Joe

I have an uncle who lives in rural Minnesota. He lives on land that has been in the family for well over a century. As a matter of fact, I have *lots* of relatives in rural Minnesota. I think I'm related to just about everybody in that part of the state. It's kind of weird when walking into a store to buy milk and complete strangers (who are really relatives) know your life story and they recite it to you, asking eagerly, "So, when are you going to come home to stay? Have you had enough of California yet?"

I'm getting off track... This is supposed to be about Uncle Joe.

This land my Uncle lives on is a little slice of heaven on earth. As a child I used to wander the woods, fish and swim in the nearby lake in the summertime, tobaggon down the hill in the wintertime, find Native American arrowheads and painted pottery in the fields, and I would also find remnants from a log cabin medicine shack from the 1860's hidden in the woods along with small medicine glass bottles of all shapes and sizes still intact. It was like going on a treasure hunt. Of course, I'm blocking the helicopter-sized mosquitoes that sucked more blood than Dracula out of my memory, but there has to be some reminder that we're still on earth.

Uncle Joe's house is a small-ish cabin that reminds me so much of something Laura Ingalls would have lived in, but it does have plumbing. It does have electricity. However, it is heated with an old-fashioned wood stove. The kitchen counter tops are nothing more than plywood.
Cable TV? Not on your life. Internet connection? Forget it. Uncle Joe does have a telephone, but no answering machine. Want to use your cell phone at Uncle Joe's? I don't think so.

What's happening is that now people from the Twin Cities (Minneapolis and St. Paul) have discovered the area where Uncle Joe lives and they're snapping up the surrounding land. The men in fancy suits come to visit Uncle Joe regularly to make generous offers on the land for development. They want to build McMansions and create a resort-type facility on Uncle Joe's land.

Uncle Joe holds the key to this area's future development -- or not. He's the most influential person around, but you would never know it. He is humble and gracious. He is generous and curteous. He's the multi-millionaire who lives like a pauper. I love him and respect him because he won't be sold.

One day I heard him say to my father that he doesn't feel he should have to sell off the land to get lots of money. He said he would just be living the way he is now. God Bless him.

Society Pushing College

Before you all get your undies wadded up in a bunch, I'm not in anyway condoning an uneducated society. I'm completely FOR education as we need to practice questioning and analyzing everything around us at all times and draw conclusions from our experiences.

I have a problem with the message that we give our young people about higher education. We tell them that they need to go to college to obtain a job to GET LOTS OF MONEY. Isn't that the resounding message? Nobody gives a shit about examining our society and meaning of life, etc... just get a job that earns BIG BUCKS to IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS and BUY A BIG HOUSE and a FANCY CAR. I resent the materialistic aspect we attach to higher education.

Here's the ugly truth that nobody wants to talk about: Most parents will spend thousands upon thousands of dollars sending their kids to college so that the kids can get a job when they graduate earning much less than they expected in a career that has nothing to do with their degree. AND/OR the kids end up taking out loans for their education that will take an entire lifetime to pay off. They start out buried in debt. Nice.

Every month I interview college graduates for positions into a construction-related program. 99% of the college graduates I interview lament that they couldn't find employment that would support a family despite perfect GPA's and such. If they did find a job in their field of study, the hours were horrendous and I hear descriptions of corporate hell. They tell me that they might as well work at Burger King because when they account for all the extra the hours, commute time, etc., they're earning $12 an hour.

Bad Loans

And like the banks had nothing to do with issuing bad loans that have driven the US economy into the tanker and are now trying to pin the consumer as the sole evil-doer. This picture was taken from the sidwalk outside the window of Sonoma National Bank in Petaluma, California. Each and every window of this bank location was plastered with this same sign message in different colors. I found it amusing, as the consumer couldn't get the loan without the bank approval.

Golden Gate Bridge: Protest

Northern California has always been a magnet for freaks. Live protests are pretty much the norm here. We're a rebellious bunch, and we don't necessarily buy into mainstream thoughts and ideas.

Yesterday there was a protest on the Golden Gate Bridge regarding the Olympic torch and the games in China. While I admire the spunk of the protesters, I ponder exactly what they're trying to accomplish by climbing a bridge,hanging up signs and snarling traffic. Do you think for one minute the Chinese government is going to suddenly cease their control over Tibet because of some protesters climbing on the bridge 1/2 way around the world? I can just hear the conversation between Chinese government officials now....

Wang: Ahhhhhh... we have trouble. Do you think we should revamp our policy in Tibet? Three guys are on the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco holding up signs and tying up traffic. They don't seem to like us very much.

Chung: Gutless bastards don't have the balls to come over here to China and protest because they know we'd shoot them on site. Typical spineless American bastards. They sure like the cheap shit we produce at the expense of our environment and our citizens. We can't export crap fast enough for these consumer-driven pigs. How come they're not protesting THAT? It's something that they have more control over.

Wang: Good point. . and we are laughing all the way to the bank..ha ha ha. ..We Chinese, we play joke, we put pee-pee in American's Coke... But,seriously, Chung, ... How do you think we should handle this situation?

Chung: Who cares? America is a has-been nation of spoiled, fat idiots. They couldn't rally together to save themselves if the need came forth to save their lives. They'd be too busy whining looking for somebody to blame or somebody to sue. Look at their leader! What a total piece of shit he is... Forget protesting what's going on in Tibet. They should focus on the terrible human rights violations happening within their own borders brought by their own so-called elected leader.

Wang: If that's democracy, then how is it different then our form of government?

Chung: It's not. It's a little lie they tell themselves.

You Read it Here First

Can I not call them, or what??? I TOLD you all that Heather Mills would have to eke out a living on sub-celebrity, pathetically embarrassing television shows in the United States. I read a few days ago in the paper that she was asked to be a judge for Miss America or some shit show like that. I guess they're *really* desperate for judges.

The Asshole

An incident happened at a girls' softball game a little over a year ago. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't witness it. What shocked me even more was my own personal response to the situation.

About a year ago my daughter was playing a softball game. The girls were 10 at the time. The pitcher on the opposing team hit (accidentally) one of our batters extremely hard on the elbow with a wild pitch. Our batter fell to the ground at home plate in pain and started wailing.

The father of the pitcher started loudly yelling, "She deserved to get hit with the ball, she was crowding the plate."

I have never lost it at a kids' game. I never say shit. Taking one look at our batter still curled up on the ground in pain and looking at that father who had the gall to say something so stupid sent me into a rage.

I walked over to the man (if you can call him that) and tugged him on the shirt. I said, "Excuse me, but that little girl over there on the ground is hurt and she's crying in pain."

He snorted back, "She deserved to get hit the way she was standing."

I coolly looked him in the eye and said, "Well, you don't have to be such an asshole."

At that point he flew into a verbal rage with me but I refused to engage or humor him. I spun on my heels and went back to my side of the bleachers to be met by our team and team parents giving me a standing ovation as one of our dads can read lips and reported the entire exchange to the others.

The 'asshole' was told by the umpire to sit down and shut up or leave the ball field.

My point is what kind of an asshole would think that any child deserved to get hurt? What a sick bastard! People like him should be shot.

Aw Shucks.....

My dear friend, CG, passed on a blogger award to little ol' me. I must say that I was totally caught off guard, as I'm not familiar with blogger awards and such. I have two things to say:

1. I can't believe that people actually read my bitchy blog;
2. You like me...... you *really* like me;)

So thank you, CG....

ADHD: Attention Deficit Disorder

I wasn't feeling well today, so I spent the day pretty much in bed. In between episodes of consciousness, I flipped through some magazines that had been sitting on my night stand for some time, but I have not had the time to look through.

For starters, every other page was a full-blown ad for some bullshit ailment. The one I'll pick on today is for kids with ADD (or ADHD) which is attention deficit disorder. I do not mean to dismiss kids who truly suffer from this, but more and more, it's just some money-making scheme for pharmecutical companies to profit of every parent's fear that "Johnny isn't getting perfect scores in school. Oh my GOD what is WRONG with him and how do I find an EASY FIX for this?"

This particular magazine ad featured a boy happily focused on doing homework well into the evening after describing a full day of activities that included a full day of school, music lessons, and sports activities. And damn, this boy still had the stamina to focus on the mindless busywork that schools issue as homework. Isn't that the picture of what you hope your child can aspire to?

Does anybody but me see the idiocracy of this? Please say I'm not alone....

There is NOTHING wrong with the kids today, and there is EVERYTHING wrong with a society that expects them to behave like miniature adults. Because guess what -- kids are not miniature adults and we're insane to expect them to behave like 30 year-olds at age 10. Look at what we do to them. We put them into the 'education' system at age 5 where they're told to sit still and be quiet in an artificial environment and listen to some boring teacher ramble on about learning the alphabet. And we get upset when the kids lose interest, fidget, and start staring out the window???? Helloooooooooo????

Now, I'm not saying that children should get away with behaving like selfish little assholes (like the behavior their parents model for them). I'm just saying that we need to be realistic about their attention span, and teach what is truly important and not keep pushing more and more shit on them. Kids are stressed out enough. Quit cramming their schedules with shit thinking that YOUR kid will be the next wonder of the world. Give me a break. Read the first sentence of this paragraph that refers to "selfish little assholes" and look in the mirror. Allow them to be KIDS.

God Bless the kids (and their parents) who are fortunate enough in this day in age who are able to lie in the back yard and imagine cloud shapes as superheros, follow an an insect to its home, or maybe interact with neighbors because they're not being shuttled off from one activity to the next.