Little Worm and the Turkey Named Monica

Now I know why Laura is so distressed. The turkey nibbled away the "little worm" and left nothing. The turkey recognizes a worm when he sees it. At least Clinton didn't have sex with animals. I think this turkey is named Monica. By the looks of Dumb-ya, I think he's enjoying it.

Spoiled Americans

Yes, we as a nation are a bunch of fat, stupid, spoiled brats and we need an ass whoopin'. We're getting an ass whooping right now, alright, and I'm not so sure we don't deserve it.

Every American is whining right now about the economy, etc. Times are pretty shitty right now, but buck up. It gets old listening to Americans snivel about the lack of cash and their self-inflicted credit woes while they're driving around in super expensive, gas-guzzling cars and living in obnoxiously large houses they knew they couldn't afford, all the while watching their favorite sports team on big screen televisions the size of Rhode Island. Give me a break. Many parts of the world are war torn and starving to death, but hell, if we're to go without cable television for one night, somebody should just shoot us. Waaaahhhhh....

Nothing is *ever* our fault. We don't claim personal responsibility for anything. We spend more money than we earn, and then point fingers to find somebody to blame for our self-created situation and anxiously claw for somebody to bail us out when things go sour. Look in the mirror for the answer.

No wonder jobs are moving overseas. Who wants to hire a bunch of whiny idiots who won't take any responsibility for themselves?

Rigid Right Wingers

What scares me about the right wing is that they will not open their minds to even try to understand different points of views, not that they have to adopt them, but just to even *listen* to them. It's like they're subconsciously in doubt to their own beliefs and that even the slightest questioning would crash their fragile, little bubble they live in. People who are comfortable in their belief system welcome new information about others' beliefs to compare and contrast.

Have you ever asked a right-winger why they practice the religion they do? The response would more than likely be, "Well, uhhhh, that's what my parents told me to believe and it must be right."

They can't think for themselves and must be TOLD by who they perceive as people with authority how to believe, how to live their lives, etc. They're sheep.

They quote the Bible like its non-negotiable as to how they interpret it. The Bible is written in metaphors -- the thumpers take it all literally. Plus, you can't tell me that something like the Bible, which was written over a couple thousand years (at least) by several contributors and countless languages has not been skewed to reflect the viewpoints of the person doing the writing, editing or translating. If you don't believe me, get a group of 20 people and play telephone. The original message, by the time it gets completely around the circle, will not be the same as the original.

Plus, I've seen different versions of the Bible. If the Bible is such that it's all God's word that is not to be altered in any way shape or form, how come there is a "young persons" edition, etc.? Isn't the Bible supposed to be the Bible and any alterations strictly prohibited? Who gets to decide what's published and who gets to decide the alterations? See what I mean?

Another thing that I question is the difference between the old and new testament. In the old testament God is punishing. In the new testament God is more loving and forgiving. Somehow, I doubt that God had this sudden personality transformation. God always was and always will be, right?

I'm not anti Christian or anti Bible. I just think Jesus's message has been so warped over the centuries that it does not reflect what He was all about. Unfortunately, His name is now associated with judgmental, coercive, manipulative people with an ego driven agenda. Jesus did not have an agenda whether it be political or otherwise. He was not about forcing "control" over his followers. He is about peace, love, and forgiveness. It's that simple.

Tom Cruise and Scientology FREE KATIE

For whatever reason, I've been on the Tom Cruise scientology mailing distribution list for the last 10 years and I can't figure out why. I've been targeted. How in the hell did I get on his mailing list? I've never even *met* Tom Cruise.

More than once, I've asked to be removed from this list but my mail box is still overflowing with scientology bullshit. It's like they target you even more if you try to resist.

There is a part of me that pities Tom Cruise as he is a dyslexic person. He has always had to fight his way through everything. However, his last Scientology indoctrination video on You Tube makes him look like a flipping nut-so freak. And well..... he is.

Keep Tahoe Blue

I really need to start carrying around a digital camera. The irony out there is almost too funny. Today while I was driving there was an extra large, gas-sucking, SUV towing a motor boat right in front of me that had a sticker on the rear window that stated, "Keep Tahoe Blue."

That's good ol' American environmentalism for ya. They're all for it as long as it doesn't inconvenience or alter their lifestyle. They're also the same people who bitch about new construction development but can justify lopping off a hillside and mowing down trees to pave the way for their own McMansions.

Americans want to be environmentally politically correct, put are mass consumers of every plastic polluting piece of shit ever manufactured. Americans want the all the convenience of modern life, but want to push off the dirty manufacturing to China and other countries. If we don't see the pollution our lifestyle creates in our back yard, it doesn't count, right?

Mother earth is an abused woman.

Homework Hell

In touching on my last rant regarding achievement based nazi's, I feel compelled to expand on the insanity of our education system that also feeds into the bullshit.

Somewhere, sometime, somebody (likely a bureaucratic pencil pusher) must have been sitting in a sterile, unimaginative environment and suddenly said aloud, "I know, let's take all of these bright, young, energetic, creative minds and bore them to death by issuing hours upon hours of useless brain clutter so they will all hate school by the time they're ten; therefore, killing any natural curiosity for learning."

I'm serious.

No wonder kids hate school. Have you seen the piles of homework issued of late? Let's take math as an example. I have a 7th grader who is studying algebra. Get real. I'm a college graduate well into my adult years and career, and I can't tell you of one instance where I needed to use the distributive property, or convert an improper fraction to its lowest form.

Here's math they can use: understanding interest rates, balancing a checkbook, budgeting, etc. I know it's not sexy, but that's math I use every day of my life. For the life of me I can't figure out why stuff like this is not required for high school graduation. It applies to any career choice, regardless if the student is planning on college or not. But wait...... Oh..... I know why it's not mandatory.... It makes SENSE.

Achievement Based Nazis

This is an umbrella category for Yuppie Parents, Sports Parents, and the overzealous PTA presidents who are usually stay-at-home moms who have given up a career and now feel they must justify their existence. It also includes Dads with small penis issues.

These parents are the ones purchasing Baby Einstein products and begin the brain washing while they're still pregnant so their child can have a high 'score' on whatever paper-based test that will ever be issued. Everybody knows how smart Einstein was, right? He's marked as one of the most intelligent people in history, right?

I've got news for you. Einstein had a severe learning disorder (dyslexia) and did not learn to read until he was a LOT older than his peers. He did not grasp math until adulthood. Yet, this same person came up with the theory of relativity. So much for "test" scores. He would have been labeled as an unteachable idiot by the modern educational system.

Same goes for Thomas Edison, you know.... the man who invented the light bulb plus numerous other technologies? A teacher told his mother that we was retarded and should give up any hope of ever amounting to anything. He was also dyslexic.

So, all of you achievement based nazi's out there should just lighten up. Your obsession with "tests" and "scores" and "grades" only measures your own insecurity. Baby Einstein products are a starkly ironic contrast to how the real Einstein lived.

Abortion

Yup... I'll take this one head-on. I'm not pro-abortion, I'm not anti-abortion. I'm for minding my own f***** business. Others would do well to follow my example. If you're anti-abortion and are really against it, then don't have one.

For those pro-lifers blowing up clinics and engaging in other destructive behavior, don't you have better things to do? There are plenty of needy children out there who could use a helping hand. You're pro-life, right? Get to it! Adopt the kids who need homes. Also, quit judging and bashing the pro-choicers. If you truly believe in God and the Bible, then why don't you trust God do the judging? Don't you think He is most qualified to do so?

Election Results 2004

Note the election results by IQ averages (click on photo to enlarge). Need I say more?

Sonoma County

This past weekend was great. On Friday I hosted a dinner party where the food reflected many of the local delicacies Sonoma County has to offer. On Saturday we attended a crab feed that benefited the local high school athletic program. It got me thinking of all the fun, unique things that Sonoma County has to offer. You know you're a true Sonoma County resident when:

1. You carry around your own utensils (pick, crab fork, butter warmer, etc.) in your purse to use during the winter months for all the local crab feeds you will hit;
2. You smuggle your own wine into such events;
3. You actually remember to bring a wine opener when smuggling wine into events;
4. You can pronounce Gurneville correctly;
5. You know the difference between the Alexander Valley and Dry Creek Valley;
6. Novato Narrows = death;
7. The town of Sonoma really does have actual residents and not just weekend tourists;
8. You can identify that funky smell of the Petaluma River;
9. Swimming in the ocean off the Sonoma Coast is NOT smart and is something only dumb tourists do;
10. You understand why we hate people who move here from the greater Bay Area, New York, or Southern California;
11. You can actually remember a time when Highway 101 ran through downtown Novato and also through downtown Cloverdale.
12. Duncan Mills or Duncans Mills -- you know which one is correct.

Fake or Paid Bloggers

Admit it... it's fun to look around on people's blogs. It's quite fascinating to peek into people's lives to see what they're thinking, what they value, etc. What gets on my nerves are the 'fake' bloggers or the 'commercial bloggers.'

They worm their way into online communities only to discover they only have a commercial product to peddle. For example, I was nosing around on a blog community. Yes, there were some sincere bloggers, but there were a couple that were so obviously commercial it was ludicrous. It was like watching the movie "The Truman Show" where Truman's wife suddenly (and she thinks discreetly) looks directly into the video camera and intermitantly blurts out plugs to the viewing audience for various commercial products in their household. Truman, in his bewilderment, asks his wife, "Honey, who are you talking to?"

You get my drift. I learned a lot poking around on different online communities...

I came across this one woman blogger in particular who was so desperately trying to camouflage herself as this right-wing-home-schooling-bible-thumping-Bush-is-Great-frugal-
subservient-housewife it was disgusting. Every other sentence was peppered with testimonials and digital photos of the latest home school educational "wonders" (for sale, of course) and vitamins and other miscellaneous crap she was trying so hard to discreetly push. It wasn't so discreet.

I have nothing to sell. I have nothing to gain. I have nothing to lose. This blog is for venting. Period. I know it's unusual in this day and age not to have a marketing agenda or a money making scheme, but I guess I'll always be the outcast.

Death by Paperwork

HELP! I'm drowning in paperwork! It's attacking me from all sides and it's going to suffocate and kill me! Just in today's mail alone I had: two advertising postcards, three magazines, one religious brochure, two bills, one bank statement, one political piece, and of course an invitation to yet another home living room 'sales' party (those never seem to get lost in the mail).

That's just the mail at the house. I'm not even going to delve into the mountains of paperwork that come into the office. Of course, the producers of each piece of paperwork think you have all the time in the world to devote to whatever crap they want you to do. I'm sick of being ordered around by an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper.

When I turn on my computer in the office to check my e-mail, I almost instantly regret it. There in my overflowing inbox are more demands of my time that I don't have. To be honest, most of my e-mail at work is useless. If it's that important, pick up the damn phone. The worst are the people who e-mail the entire free world every time they take a shit -- like we all should CARE. Whoooppeeeeee. Of course, they always hit the 'reply all' function and clutter up everybody's inbox.

I've gotten off track with the e-mail rant, I'll come back to the death by paper rant.

When my youngest comes home from school there is literally an avalanche of paper that must be dealt with nightly. Not only is there a ridiculous amount of homework (another rant), but there are countless forms, permission slips, fund raisers, and other notices.

Who thinks of this shit? Everyday I'm bombarded with more and more paperwork that is sucking up my precious time. Everything is so complicated.... nothing is simple anymore and it always has a 12 page form for you to fill out. All of this bullshit paperwork takes time away from what's really important to me -- writing to my friends.

How Americans View Themselves

...now how Americans view themselves (click on photo to enlarge)... I take it as a compliment that my home state of Minnesota is considered to be a part of Canada;) Don't you love how Louisiana is completely submerged into the Gulf of Mexico?

How Americans View the World

I thought this extremely funny. Well, either funny or sad... What makes it even funnier is that Africa does not even exist (click on photo to enlarge).

From Anger to Laughter

One thing about this blog is that it allows me to vent off useless anger that sucks up my energy. There was an instance today at my health club that even a few days ago would have had me steaming mad. Instead, I was on the verge of laughter.

There is a strict 'no cell phone' policy at my health club (thank goddesses). Just a few short days ago I vented about how annoying I thought cell phones were and how I pretty much want to cram them into dark crevices of the human body when they constantly ring.

When I arrived at the health club today and entered the locker room, there was a woman yakking away on her cell phone as loudly as she could possibly speak despite the large, ominous "NO CELL PHONES" sign posted right in front of her face. Another woman who I recognized as a regular at the club caught my obviously annoyed vibe directed at the cell phone user. We made eye contact and had an instant understanding that some people just don't GET IT and the suppression of laughter from both of us was difficult. The cell phone user was completely oblivious and was blathering loudly on and on about NOTHING.

Man and Nature

A very good friend of mine has shown me some websites that show the delicate coexistence of man and nature. Even one as cynical as I was brought to tears with photos of a tamed Wyoming coyote named Charlie living with his tom cat and lady. It gives me hope...
http://dailycoyote.blogspot.com/

Boring Unproductive Meetings

You've been to them. They are the boring meetings that are a complete waste of time. I go to a lot of them, and most of the time while I'm in the meeting, I'm thinking how much I could actually get 'done' if I didn't have to sit and listen some guy who likes to hear the sound of his own voice.

He-Who-Loves-Own-Voice also likes to distribute mounds of important looking reports, which I call T.P.S. Reports (total pieces of sh**). Nobody ever reads T.P.S. reports as they are filled with useless, redundant information. He-Who-Likes-Own-Voice also likes to try to rally political support with superiors and peers in attempts to advance his pathetic, ego-driven agenda for positions with power and authority.

The devil wears a business suit.

Cell Phones and Cigarettes

Are you sick of cell phones? Don't you hate it when you're at the movies, dining out, at the grocery store, etc., and somebody's f***** cell phone starts ringing? Not only are you disturbed by a ring tone that features the latest crap recording of a group that will have a popularity life-span of a tsi-tsi fly, but the recipient of the phone call automatically raises his/her voice volume by 10 decibels loudly broadcasting the one-way conversation to everybody within a 10 mile radius.

Everybody on the face of the planet has a cell phone constantly stuck in his/her ear blathering on and on about nothing. No, I don't want to hear your lame conversations anymore. I don't want to hear any of your conversations. You are noise pollution. Shut up. PLEASE! Not only are you noise pollution, you're a hazard on the road as well. Hang up and drive.

Cell phone users should follow the same manners that is expected from smokers these days. Go OUTSIDE at least 10 feet from the door to minimize your noise pollution on others. It's only common courtesy. In fact, I think I'll take up smoking again and whenever some self-important jackass starts yakking on the cell phone, I'm going to light up and blow smoke in his/her face. Then I'll take his/her cell phone and shove it where nobody will ever hear their annoying ring tone ever again;)

Resolutions

I'm guilty. I am one of the millions of people who vow to adopt better habits for the coming year. New Year's offers us a clean slate and a chance to renew ourselves with the coming year. Each year, despite my best intentions, I falter and slide back into my old habits. I think I go about it all wrong. I simply expect to wake up January 1st and all of my old negative habits will automatically disappear without any effort on my part.

We all know what a fallacy that is.

Instead of expecting instant transformation, this year will be more patient. Small changes to the daily routine in small steps will put me on the right path. The small changes will eventually become new habits that will no longer require conscious thought. I suppose the key is to be patient with myself in the process.

Happy New Year

Even those as cynical as I really do have friends. I ran into two old friends this afternoon running errands -- one I have not seen in a couple of years, and one I have not seen in about a year. It was so wonderful to bump into them unexpectedly. It made me glad I had actually applied make-up and put on deoderant prior to leaving the house;)

Seriously, when I asked my old friends what their plans were for the New Year's evening both replied that they were renting movies and just hanging out with their family. I thought that was great.

I guess New Year's has turned into Christmas really should be about. Isn't just being with your family what it's really all about? No material expectations, no hype, no nothing. Maybe a few hollers at midnight, but that's about it. New Year's is just hangin' and enjoying each other's company.....