New Phone Message Pad

I know this applies to all offices everywhere, so make sure to ask for it when ordering your office supplies next time.

Christmas Cards

This is the first year in my adult life that I have not sent out Christmas cards. Yes, the world is still spinning on its axis. Generally, I pride myself on being the "first" to get my card off in the mail. Not this year. It's time I finally come to terms with my OCD tendencies.

I ran into an old, old friend at the grocery store the other day. She gave me a big hug and gloated that she "beat" me with getting out her Christmas cards this year. I told her that I wasn't sure if I would be getting any cards out this year. The look on her face was priceless. The gave me a look like she wanted to ask if everything was ok with us. I picked up on her non-verbal cue and told her that things just got out of control with work and such, and that we were all ok.

To be honest, I finally got to a stack of unopened Christmas cards today. I have not had time to read them. Word must be out with friends and relatives how much I hate the braggie Christmas newsletters (see my post from December 2007) as this year it was notably toned down. I'm a bitch, I know... Love me or hate me.

The most beautiful card/newsletter I received this year was from my mother's cousins in rural Minnesota. The opening paragraph of the letter started off with, "This year started out on a sad note when our brother died in February. We miss him so much, but know he is in a better place. He left behind his eyes so someone else could see the beauty of God's earth."

Wow.... something like that puts things into perspective instantly.

The letter went on describing the pitfalls of growing old and the challenges along with it like losing some independence. The letter also described some long-ago traditions and how Christmas was 70 years ago in rural Minnesota. The letter closed with, "Always keep Christ in Christmas. Trust in God, and love in your hearts."

This is a Christmas newsletter that is NOT getting the half-glance over and going into the recycling bin New Year's eve.

Get the FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!

The past couple of weeks or so I've been up to my armpits in people. I wish I had the nerve to do what my friend did when she had had enough of people lingering about and kids digging through closets and trashing everything. She stood on her couch and screamed at the top of her lungs, "Get the FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! NOW!!!"

If you saw my friend you would never guess her to have a mouth like that. She usually doesn't. She simply had enough. I can totally relate. I'm peopled-out as well.

GM Stock as Coal in the Stocking

My mother had a great idea as to what to do with her worthless GM stock -- put it in the Christmas stockings of those who have been naughty this past year;)

Merry Christmas

I have been without my laptop for a couple of weeks now. I feel like I've been amputated. I have to fight for computer time with the rest of the family. Anyway, I'll rant about Staples and their suckie "extended warranty" that they won't honor tomorrow. Believe it or not, I'm in rather a jolly mood and I don't want to fly into a rage where I end up killing somebody on Christmas -- even if they deserve it.

Our house is ground zero on Christmas morning. Before we are even dressed and have our presents opened, relatives start arriving by the bus loads knowing that a grand breakfast will be served. This morning I had so many people here I could not walk through my own house. They were mostly relatives, but there were some stragglers this year as well.

Between the people, presents, and food my house looks like a bomb went off. At the moment I don't care as consuming large quantities of red wine has a tendency of eliminating the urge to kill kids who always manage to smear maple syrup and butter on my living room carpeting. Oh, and I have not even mentioned the sticky spills of orange juice.

These same brats got Rock Band 2 from Santa and set it up in our front room. We adults listened to them strum, drum, and sing for a couple of hours. The kids were actually getting pretty good. Rock Bank is a Wii game that the kids are into and they compete online with each other and all of that crap. I had 6 teenagers in my front room who were actually HAPPY and not moping about in their black, ghoulish, goth-like apparel. They did not complain that they were bored and wanted to go home and slash their wrists or some dramatic, emo crap like that.

After a few rounds of gin fizzes, us adults kicked the kids off Rock Band and set up our own band. Despite that I have always wanted to be a drummer, I got stuck with singing lead vocals. We scored very well, so WATCH OUT! We will be on world-wide tour;) My 15 year-old nephew says that he goes to school with the number one rated Rock Band guitar player. Well.......he better watch out as he's got competition now. OLD FARTS RULE!!!!!

Fuck You Sushi

I love San Francisco's Japantown. I guess the love is not returned in kind as observed by the name of this sushi bar.

Two things came to mind when I saw this and busted out laughing. One was the Austin Powers movie where there were two Japanese twins named Fook Yu and Fook Me. The other thing that came to mind was the Seinfeld episode with the soup nazi. My take is that this is the Japanese sushi version of the infamous, nasty soup nazi. NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

If you really want to mess with the Japanese, go into shops and order 4 of everything and watch their eyes in response. The number 4 in their culture is like our number 13 and it's associated with bad luck.

Michaelangelo's David as Porn

This is for the official human resources "Bizzaro" file. I swear to God I'm going to get a t-shirt that states: I have officially seen and heard it ALL. NOTHING SHOCKS ME! No shit.

I have received a formal sexual harassment complaint from a male employee that the display of Michaelangelo's David from the secretary's digital photo frame on her desk was creating a "hostile work environment."

Give me a break. I swear to God some people need to be beaten to death. He is one of them.

Let's put this story into context. The guy complaining about Michaelangelo's David being "porn" was busted by this same secretary for using the company computer for viewing and printing catalogs of porn and soliciting prostitutes on Craig's list and eBay -- on company time and company property. The dumb-ass guy should be thankful he still has a job.... but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... Like so many other dumb fuckers who should be wiped off the face of the earth and their gene pool with them, he had to carry on and did not know when to shut the fuck up.

The complaint went something like this....

"You should know that Sally Secretary has a picture of male genitals IN YOUR FACE on a digital camera frame located near her computer desk," states DumbAss who is lucky he still has a job.

"AND I was diligent enough to take a photograph of it," added DumbAss.

"Hmmmmmmmm," thought myself and my collegue investigating the complaint.

DumbAss went on describing the "male genitals in your face" in the digital picture frame located at the secretary's desk and how "offensive" it was especially in light of the discovery that DumbAss was viewing porn on his company computer. HOW COULD SALLY SECRETARY DO IT???? How could she have such pornographic material at her work station after lodging such a complaint?

DumbAss never did tell us that the "porn" he was subject to was Michaelangelo's David. That small detail was left out until we interviewed the accused secretary.

Who judges what is art and what is considered porn? I don't know. All I know is that nudity is nudity and what others find "art" others find "offensive." Any and all nudity in the office, even that considered classical art, needs to go. I'm sick of people trying to play lawsuit lottery with me.

This one is for YOU, CG

I saw this today and just about pissed my pants laughing!!!! My dear friend in England, CG, thinks these signs utterly ridiculous -- and I whole-heartedly agree. We've had several laughing incidences regarding these idiotic signs posted in cars. What exactly does it mean? Go ahead and kill everybody else on board EXCEPT the baby? CG.... TAKE IT AWAY!!!

My Christmas Card

Here is my Christmas card/video this year.

Integrity My Ass

These pictures were taken in Sonoma County, California yesterday at a local bank. Ingetrity? Please. Stability? Go fuck yourself.

Shouldn't stability and integrity be inherent traits for bankers? The above photos shout out loudly and clearly, "The banking industry is ruled by snakey, greedy assholes! But you should trust us! We are different!"

Bullshit. Integrity my ass.

It's like the basic belief expecting that judges should be officiators rendering fair and just decisions interpreting law, and that priests should be expected to be ambassadors for the goodwill of Christ and then being shocked and dismayed when the public discovers they are not.

The cynical American public knows better -- especially in light of the events of the past few months.... Wow... do we all know better. Do NOT trust others with your money. They will squander it, piss it all away, and then look you in the eye and tell you how hard they're "working" for you -- in the form of expecting a huge government bailout coming from YOUR wallet.

Poor Guy

Merry Christmas! I soooooo feel sorry for guys this time of year. I mean the media is filling heads with the idea that if the guy doesn't buy his woman a diamond the size of medium baked potato, or buy his woman the newest, flashiest European car he is a total piece of shit and the woman should leave him.

Come on... who started this shit? I have some advice for you guys out there who are feeling pressured by all of this bullshit. Dump the bitch who is making you feel pressured into purchasing her "things" in order to "prove" your love. You don't need a woman like that. There are plenty of women out there who would truly appreciate love without dollar signs attached to it. Trust me. Please ignore this holiday gift purchasing orgy that is completely orchestrated by the media.

If your girlfriend/wife dumps you because of it, GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!! Let the materialistic bitch pay for her own baubles. Who wants a money grubbing cow for a wife anyway?????

Obese Americans

I have a 41 year-old relative who is at least 100+ pounds overweight. Yesterday at the Thanksgiving dinner table she was telling us all how she is scheduled for a consultation for a surgical procedure for weight loss. She was going into great detail about the pre and post op procedure as she poured buckets of gravy over her dinner plate piled high with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and bread rolls.

Typical fat, stupid American slob.

We're talking about a person who has not exercised in decades or gone on a real diet (not some gimmick diet crap) and is now going for the "quick fix" approach that includes a surgery that is not without significant risk. No wonder our health insurance premiums are skyrocketing, but that is another rant. We're talking about a person who won't pry her fat ass of the couch to walk around the block.

Anyway....it took all of my being to bite my tongue as I think a procedure like this should be a last resort and not an easy 'go to' for people. Here's my prediction: this procedure will take place and some weight will be lost. However, it will be gained back quickly as no new healthy habits will be incorporated into her lifestyle.

My Share of the $700 Billion American Bailout

$700 billion of hard-earned tax money going to bail out greedy bankers, investors, and other assorted dumb fucks, and what do I get? Here's the answer: a $5.00 VISA gift card. No shit.

As I made my daily trek to the local Starbucks this morning, there were three young women on the sidewalk handing out what looked like handbills. I get enough of that walking around in Las Vegas, I didn't think I would see that here. My reflexes automatically turned my eyes downward and I kept walking forward instinctively ignoring them.

"Wachovia Bank is giving away $5.00 VISA gift cards! All we ask is that you read the enclosed material," chirped the young woman as she shoved a gift card at me.

No way. Nobody gives away $5.00 for nothing. Despite holding a $5.00 gift card in my hand, I was still suspicious of its worth. There MUST be a catch like needing to fill out some god-awful, lengthy survey requiring every detail of my life from birth until present before getting the gift card activated by calling into some telephone maze hell only to have a remote telephone robot telling me my card has been AK-ti-VAT-ed in that annoying mechanical voice after entering in my 18 digit VISA card number for the 100th time.

I walked into Starbucks and held up the card to the clerk. "Do these really work, or is it some stupid scam?"

The clerk gave me a half-grin-half-smirk as I'm sure he had heard that 100 times that morning already. The gift card really did work.

As I left Starbucks with my grande, non-fat, peppermint mocha I walked past the three young women handing out $5.00 gift cards and thanked them for my portion of the massive government bailout money. They all snickered.

Executives and others are getting obscene bonuses and other compensation. People who can't add 2 + 2 are getting forgiven for their mortgages and bad loans. Here I am with my share of the government bailout -- a cup of coffee.

A Rubber Stamp We All Need

This is what I feel like doing to the mountains of paperwork that seems to get worse every day.

The Great American Bailout: Who Pays?

Everybody has their hand out for the money orgy our congress is so wrecklessly distributing. Where is this money coming from? Is their a printing press/copy machine in a back office somewhere spitting out wads of counterfeit dollars? If so, where is my portion for actually behaving responsibly? This is not Monopoly money we're playing with here, people.

Once again, the greedy and the stupid are rewarded and us hard-working, responsible slugs are left holding the bag AND the broom to clean up their mess..... The problem is that us hard-working, responsible citizens are now such a minute minority, that there is no WAY we can save the masses without committing financial suicide ourselves in the process. Ten financially responsible people can't bail out 1,000 greedy, stupid flakes. The sheer numbers will drown us. Simple math is not comprehended by society. That's our problem. We're too busy trying to teach useless advanced algebra to 6 year-olds when they don't even understand basic budgeting and financial management (another rant).

That's the American economy in a nutshell. We, the responsible ones, can't do it. There is nobody else to turn to for money infusion. Government agencies will shamelessly try to raid our wallets some more, but they have finally managed to kill the goose that has layed the golden egg.

We're done.

John and Kate + 8 and other mass reproduction tv shows

There is this lame television show that my 13 year-old daughter is addicted to. It's titled, "John and Kate + 8." It is the most REPETITIVE show featuring John and Kate who could not accept the fact that nature did not want their gene pool continued en masse, so they opted for artificial insemination to mock mother nature's intentions. Viola. 8 more kids in the world. Just what we need with the world's human population exploding at epidemic levels and dwindeling resources. Thanks a lot for your selfishness.

Anyway...every show is the same. They are planning a trip to the zoo (or whatever). They wake up the kids at an ungodly hour to load them into the family vehicle/bus. One kid throws up. One kid pisses his pants. One kid slaps his oatmeal against the wall. One kid takes a baseball bat and beats the other kid over the head with it..... AND we have not even left the driveway yet. Joy.

Once at the travel destination, we are bombarded with clips of each kid admiring a butterfly or engaged in an art craft, or the luau dance. BFD.

Why is this glorified? Who watches this shit?


The other show is of a family of 17+ kids and the parents still have not figured out how to use a rubber. What gives? Do these people have nothing better to do? Then they have the nerve to broadcast how EXPENSIVE it is to raise them? DUH. What the fuck did they think? Did they think the grocery fairies were going to drop gallons of milk and loaves of bread on their doorstep for free? GET A CLUE. And THIS is the gene pool that is perpetuating? Please.

Toxic Relationship: The Ex-Boyfriend

Ever have one of those relationships you've just regretted? Come on..... sure you have. One of my most regretted, failed relationships was with my high school "sweetheart" but there was nothing sweet about him. He was a manipulative, self-centered, psycho asshole. He sure knew how to turn the charm on and off to get what he wanted.

When I look back in my diaries filled with angst filled entries in describing the psychological warfare he used on me which are now viewed with a removed, objective perspective all I can say is, "Wow... was I ever stupid."

What a waste of time and energy. I can't believe I put up with that crap. What a waste of my youth -- especially when there were other guys I could have dated that would not have treated me like complete shit. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

My best friend ran into my "ex" not too long ago at a bar (surprise). Did he every marry? Hell no. Nobody was dumb enough to do so. What does that tell you?

Middle Child Syndrome

I am number 3 of 4 siblings. The birth order is as follows: My older sister, my older brother, myself, and my younger brother. By the time I came around my parents didn't have the time or energy to really deal with me. They had their own issues to deal with. Whatever.

I came across an article today on 'middle child syndrome'. The article stated on how we middle children were basically ignored all of our lives and are now miserable, mopey loners as adults who suffer intimacy issues stemming from the lack of attention received as children.

Wow.... I don't think I'd describe myself as miserable and mopey. I know my blog is rather bitchy.... however, for the most part I present a very pleasant face to the world.

There is but one cure for middle child syndrome -- only have two kids.

Election Day

Wow.... what an exciting day. We may actually get a president who can speak and think at the same time AND be something other than a national embarrassment! Glorious DAY! We may get a president who can actually think! But hey.... I guess I'm not a "real" American just because I don't shoot wolves from helicopters like my too-close-to-Canada-Minnesota-accent-gal-pal Sarah Palin.... just because we both say our "Oh's" differently and understand the hockey mom mentality does NOT put us in the same political camp. I'll gladly shoot HER from a helicopter. Betch.

No, I'm not of the "Geezer" and "Dingbat" ticket.

On the lighter side, my baby brother is running for mayor of a small town in west-central Minnesota. It's so rural, that I'm tracking the results here from California because of their crappy internet connection and texting my brother the updated results as they come in. I jokingly told him, "How long does it take to count 16 votes, anyway?"

Dead silence followed by four-letter explatives that only siblings can share.

My brother told me that I was not invited to his lavish election party held at the local chicken hatchery complete with kareoke and a beer keg. But hey, my brother offered me $20 worth of pull-tabs for my efforts in helping with his election. What is family for?

Do you all know what "pull tabs" are? If you know what pull tabs and hotdish are, you can officially apply for Minnesota citizenship -- not that you would really want to.

Pharmaceutical Advertising Gone too Far?

Enough already!!! We are constantly being bombarded with pharmaceutical advertisements on television, magazines, and at the doctors' offices. This one made me split my gut with laughter. Thanks Flywriter!
One of our doctor buddies e-mailed back:
"If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your electrician.

Halloween Hangover

It's hard to believe it's November 1st already. It was nice to have Halloween on a Friday this year. The kids are always tired and cranky the day after Halloween and getting them up and ready for school the day after has always been my personal Halloween hell.

My European friends, especially my German friend, has always found the American tradition of trick-or-treating amusing. In fact, my German friend made a special visit out here just so she could experience it.

I'm sure trick-or-treating neighborhood traditions vary from region to region, but here in my little corner of Sonoma County here is the unwritten protocol:

1. Trick-or-treat hours are from 6-9 pm;

2. Parents of small children travel in packs and have a disguised "drink wagon" full of alcohol for themselves. They're not fooling anybody. We know what's in the cooler;

3. It is perfectly acceptable to accompany your child to the door of acquaintances holding out your empty wine glass and trick-or-treat for a refill. Most people serve decent wine on Halloween. It's kind of like a neighborhood-wide tasting event. Of course, quality dark chocolate goes hand-in-hand with the red wine;

4. Older teens are welcome to trick-or-treat. Nobody looks down their noses at them sneering that they're too old to be participating. It sure beats having them running amok egging passing cars and smashing pumpkins;

5. Candy bowls left on doorsteps with instructions to 'take one piece' are actually honored and respected.

California Weather

It must be really boring being a weatherman here in California. The challenge is trying to be creative in describing endless days of warmth and sunshine without repeating yourself. The above picture was taken from today's Santa Rosa Press Democrat.

Kaiser Health Care: Massive Cluster F***

A 45 year-old relative of mine has been diagnosed with skin cancer. It's sad and it sucks. God help you in this day and age if you have health issues -- especially here in Sonoma County, California where the good doctors are fleeing. Health care is a colossal mess.

Kaiser Permanente has used their predatory pricing business methods to eliminate other HMO-type insurance carriers so now they have a monopoly on the local health care industry. See, Kaiser is like the WalMart of health care. Kaiser comes into an area, low-balls the competition to drive them out of business, monopolizes the area, and then jacks up their premium rates because they are now the only game in town and can get away with it. Shrewd. BTW: Kaiser translates to Ceasar in German.

My 45 year-old relative was scheduled for surgery this past Thursday. She was to be at the Oakland Kaiser facility at 7:15 am. Because her husband had to work (another sad situation) and he could not drive her and be present during the 3-hour surgery, he arranged for another relative to pick her up at 6:00 AM to get her at the Kaiser Oakland facility by 7:15 AM.

It is now 9:10 AM and I'm sitting at my desk in my office. My cell phone rings. When I answer it, there is the frantic voice of my 45-year old relative's husband on the other end asking if I knew if my 45 year-old relative had actually made it to the Oakland Kaiser facility. Kaiser had called HIM in an angry panic at his place of employment in San Francisco wanting to know why she did not show up for surgery as scheduled and asking where she was!!!!

What?!!! Come again?!?! Not a phone call I was expecting.

Of course, neither my 45-year old relative or the driver-relative answered their cell phones. Panic sets in. Did they get in an accident on the way to the hospital? Were they car jacked? Did they get lost in 'da hood?' Just where exactly were they, and why was Kaiser calling in such an angry panic looking for them?

OK..... I thought of a game plan and told the husband I would make a couple phone calls to track them down one way or another. If need be, I'd retrace every step and solicit the police to find them.

Come to find out that my 45-year-old relative showed up on time as scheduled for her surgery. The admissions department massively screwed up. Nice. And we're trusting this same caliber of people to do surgery on my 45 year-old relative and cure her cancer? These people can't find their head because it's buried up their ass. Incompetent, stupid morons all.

If I ever get sick, take me to the vet.

Bring Back the '80s

Yeah, I had a damn good time as a teenager in the 80's. I'd do anything to relive it. The technology boom was just beginning. We had good music. I hosted some kick-ass parties. Beer keggers were at high school graduation parties -- and guess what -- NOBODY freaked out about it. We had fun hair, fun clothing, and punk rock. We stayed out until 3:00 AM. We *gasp* WALKED to school without a school sponsored sniper at every corner poised to peg off any potential "stranger" who may approach us. What more could you ask for? Everything was full of promise.

Fast-forward 25 years. One fateful day the "political correctness" do-gooders, PTA police arrived trying to question every decision as a parent and to pass judgement on each child who "colored outside the lines."

Kids are no longer allowed to gather in the neighborhood to play "kick the can" or whatever neighborhood games we used to play together. There needs to be a "responsible adult" present at ALL times micromanaging everything.

Attention hyper control-freak parents: LET IT GO!!!! Most of everything useful in life I've learned has happened on the playground or else where when there wasn't an adult around to "rescue" or "monitor" me. I had to rely on my own intellect and instinct to figure it out. Did I make some bad decisions? Of course I did. How else was I going to learn?

BRING BACK THE 80's!!!!!!!

Damn e-Mail Scammers

Do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT fall prey to this e-mail scam:

MY DEAR AMERICAN FRIEND:

I AM NEEDING TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 700 BILLION OF YOUR DOLLARS (US). IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH HIGHLY REPUTABLE MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY IF MY POLITICAL PARTY WINS UPCOMING ELECTION, WHICH WE CERTAINLY WILL BECAUSE WE ARE IN CONTROLING OF THE HIGHEST SUPREME COURT. YOU MAY REMEMBER HIM AS A SENATOR AS LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S.

THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE. YOU MUST TRUST ME COMPLETELY AND NOT ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TRANSACTION. YOU HAVE MY WORD NO ONE WILL DO ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE MONEY.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED YOUR BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTH PERSONAGE WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED. YOU ARE THAT PERSONAGE.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN AND THOSE YET UNBORN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THIS INFORMATION I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS WE PROMISE WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS AND PRODUCE A LONG-TERM RETURN ON INVESTMENT FOR YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE.

YOURS FAITHFULLY
MINISTER OF TREASURY H. PAULSON

The Call

I have been patiently waiting like a spider for this telephone call to land in my web. I've sensed the situation brewing for months now... It finally happened. I received a personal call from the investment advisor we use for my work -- and believe it or not, I did not even initiate the conversation.

Several months ago, upon reviewing our investments, it was noted how much we had invested in government-backed mortgage securities. The question was asked back then (about a year and 1/2 ago) when the first signs of the mortgage debacle were first starting to surface, how much we were at risk. The answer from Mr. Highly Credentialed Investment Advisor was, "The percentage of vulnerable mortgage loans is extremely small. It will NEVER reach epidemic proportion."

Oh yeah??????

As time passed, and the mortgage meltdown continued with signs of it worsening, the question I had of Mr. Highly Credentialed Investment Advisor became, "How on earth could such a small percentage of 'bad' mortgages wreck such havoc in the financial markets?"

I smelled a coloussal rotten fish, and intuitively knew that this mess far beyond what anybody was expecting. I ordered a sell of all holdings about a year ago and put it in liquid investments, which was in complete contradiction to what I was being advised to do.

When Mr. Highly Credentialed Investment Advisor called me today, I coolly told him that I should be the one charging for advice.

End of conversation. Click.

Damn... Texas is Still Here

I've been out of the network news loop for the past few days. Network news gets boring. And yes, Sarah Palin's teenage daughter is STILL pregnant -- I guess the apple doesn't fall from the tree. However, this is not a rant about Sarah Palin the human pez dispenser and her exact likeness daughter.

While I was at a youth sporting event yesterday I was told by other parents on how Hurricane Ike was about to hit Texas and had potential for possibly annihilating Texas off the map. My mouth began to drool. Could there really be a God? Talk about excitement. "Tell me MORE, tell me MORE," I begged of the mom telling the tale...much like the character from the movie Grease singing the catchy ditty asking questions of Olivia Newton John's crush on John Travolta.

Doooo wop, da do doooo wop, da do doooooo wop wop.....dooty doot doot doo doo

"They told the people who chose not to evacuate coastal Texas to write their social security number and name on their arm so their bodies could be identified," the mom stated.

We immediately busted out laughing at the thought of white trash people scrounging the house for a writing utensil knowing said search would be like looking for a straight male at an Indigo Girls concert, and then, once the writing utensil was found, the look of confusion and exasperation on desperately trying to spell one's name.

In glimpsing the headlines this morning, Texas still exists. Damn. Maybe next time.

(H)Orroville, California

I have just returned from a trip up to see Flywriter and her husband. They live waaaaay up in Northern California. As I drove up Interstate 5 I could begin to see the inbreeding amongst the populace and sense the IQ dropping drastically. The proliferation of large American flags on full size Ford trucks with McCain bumper stickers was also another clue. However, I was not fully prepared to be horrified by the stories told to me at dinner.

Do you remember the movie Deliverance? People like that actually do exist in the surrounding hills. I was told of tough, masculine, outdoorsy people who do not dare trek in the hills any longer for fear of being complimented on having a "pretty mouth."

As I was sitting on the beautiful patio of my friend's home sipping my red wine viewing their magnificent property and the surrounding breath-taking mountainous scenery, I was utterly blown away that in the very hills I was admiring resided half-human looking orks that engaged in activities that not even the sickest mind could imagine.

I was also told of how packs of them will come down from out of the hills to shop at WalMart or Costco to get supplies and then return to their hillbilly homes. Most of them are grossly overweight, have not bathed, and their children live like dogs. I was told of how they live in shacks filled with human and animal feces on all surfaces. GROSS!

This is CALIFORNIA! We're supposed to be on the forefront of human evolution, or at very least not inbred psychopaths. OMG, what about the rest of the country? I'm afraid. I'm very, very afraid. These people vote.

Change for Bush?

Wow... Here's REAL political change! Don't temp me.

Schools Missing Standards: STAR Testing

On Friday's Santa Rosa Press Democrat, the headline screamed of schools missing their educational goals. How do the schools determine how well they're educating students? They determine educational progress by how accurately students color in bubbles on a test form known as the STAR test. I'm not joking.

Talk to any student one-on-one candidly away from the classroom and they will tell you of how they blindly fill in the bubbles and sometimes make designs like connect-the-dots. It's hard for students to endure days upon days of ridiculous testing that have no direct effect on them and expect them to be gung-ho about expending all sorts of energy in the process.

But..those in the upper echelons of determining educational policy have themselves convinced that these canned "bubble tests" are the be-all and end-all of measuring progress. It's a typical example of garbage in, gospel out. The students are much smarter than the educational policy makers. The students are catching on to what a bunch of useless crap it all is. I can't say the same for the policy makers and the people who blindly believe in the test results.

Perfect Blend of Friendship

Thank you, CG, for the "Perfect Blend of Friendship" award. You're too kind to crabby ol' me.
LUV YA!

Starbucks Dating Scene

No, this isn't about me. This is about one of the Starbucks employees attempting to line himself up with a date with another Starbucks employee. I was there in the background like a fly on the wall to witness his moves and dialogue. The young man initiating the date is a boy I've known since he was 5.

I should have coached him better as a youngster when he used to spend a lot of time at our house... His lines could have been better.

It just cracked me up to see this little boy, who is now a young man, hitting on this young lady. This is the same little boy who used to spend the night at our house and then begin to cry for his mommy in the middle of the night. I would end up driving him home as he clutched his favorite blanket with all of his might until his mommy was in sight. This is the same little boy who barfed all over me at the pizza place when we were all out to dinner.

Now I'm witnessing him as a handsome young man sporting a goatee and picking up chicks. Where did all the years go? I didn't dare say hello to him while he was trying to set himself up with a date. I'm just like a mom to him. I would have embarrassed him to no end. I just blended into the background and watched. He didn't even know I was there.

I so wanted to blurt out, "I'm not giving you a ride home tonight if you wake up crying and screaming for your mommy!"

Random Acts of Kindness: The Lady at Starbucks

Just when I think everybody on the planet should be gunned down, somebody surprises me with a random act of kindness that restores my faith in humanity. No bitter rant today, just one where a complete stranger showed remarkable generosity and kindness.

Today when I made my daily trek to the local Starbucks to get my caffeine fix and snack, I brought along my gift card to pay for my purchases. The gift card I have is one that I keep refilling when it gets below a certain balance. Much to my embarrassment, the balance on my card was not enough to cover my coffee and snack. Of course, I did not bring along my purse. I sheepishly told the cashier that I didn't have any other of method of payment on me, and apologized profusely and placed the sandwich back on the counter. The lady in line in back of me piped up and said, "I'll purchase your coffee and sandwich for you today."

I couldn't believe my ears. I was astonished that a complete stranger offered to help me out. I thanked her up and down. I was stunned. In retrospect, I should have gotten her name and address so I could repay her. The gesture was just so unexpected and out of the blue. I will never, EVER forget her random act of kindness. I will follow her example to aid somebody else....

Election 2008

You all can count on me to be the cynical bitch during this year's election process. People are all fired up about Obama. Great. I'm glad something is getting the people of this country switching television channels from the Cartoon Network and Home Shopping Network to CNN and C-SPAN. That alone is a step forward in the right direction. Honestly, I don't expect much more than that this go 'round.

I can't help but rewind this year's presidential election and compare it to the California farce of a few years ago where we naively thought that Superman Arnold Schwarznegger was going to swoop into office as the Governor of California and solve all of our problems for us. He was going to TERMINATE bi-partisan politics and cut out all of the political crap that was keeping us from going forward.

We're still waiting... Things are just as fucked up as ever and the Terminator is dry of quick, catchy, sound byte answers. Californians were not the only ones suckered into Hollywood-type-superhero-turned-politician. Minnesotans were suckered as well with pro wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura elected as their governor. Both men were eaten alive by the pirrana called politics. I'm afraid the same fate awaits Obama.

See, the problems are so much bigger than one or two individuals. Personally, I don't think it matters WHO occupies the White House. The problems of today are so multifaceted and complex, answers and solutions are elusive at best.

Here's the truth: Our country is run by dirty political money by dirty politicians. The one thing I'm glad about is that people are finally getting off their fat asses and getting to the polls. Knowing Americans, they will see that Obama can't change the world instantly on a whim and we will go back to watching pro wrestling, NASCAR and Wheel of Fortune. It's sad American's don't view their prolonged involvement in the political process as vital to the survival of democracy.

The Ex-Girlfriend

My husband has good taste in women. After all, he did marry me, right? Seriously, we live in an area where it's common to know the connections to just about everybody. What I'm getting to is that we hosted a BBQ party this weekend where one of my husband's ex-girlfriends from high school was also a guest.

The ex-girlfriend from long ago is a beautiful blonde woman who showed up with her husband and three of her four daughters. I wish I could say something awful and spiteful about her, but I can't. I actually LIKE her!!! She is witty and also kind. She is beautiful inside and out. Bitch.

Anyway.... I have to admit liking my husband's ex. I did offer my husband back to her on a 30 day trial basis. She jokingly told me she'd oblige me if I took HER husband on. We both looked at the men we married and then each other and started to laugh.

Great Scot!

143rd annual Scottish Games today in Pleasanton, California. Lots of Scots.



He wants to make looking under the kilt easy for those of us who are curious;) I wonder just how long his stick is? No, the OTHER stick.



ROOTS! At long last I have found thee! Clan FUCK YOU is the American spelling.



Yeah, I guess we're all a bunch of clan fuckers.

The Dog Bite

My sister-in-law's family has a couple of those yappy little mutts. Recently, when my 14-year old niece took them for a walk, she stopped at a park to swing on the swing set. She tied the yappers to the post. A grown man approached the dogs, and before my niece could say, "Please don't pet the dogs they are nervous and obnoxious," he bent down and lo and behold, one of them bit him.

Of course, the grown man went into a tizzy. He got my sister-in-law's phone number and proceeded to file charges. This man also called the vet (the same vet we use) and demanded that the doctor leave surgery to take his call in regards to the dog's vaccination records. The doctor didn't oblige him immediately, which pissed him off even more. The doctor did return the phone call from childman, stating that the dogs, indeed, were well-cared for and up to date on their shots.

The dogs were then taken down to the local authorities and had their "mug shot" taken. Can you believe it? Dogs with MUG shots! I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

Do I like the yappy little mutts? No. However, I'm not so fucking stupid to approach dogs I am not familiar with in public places without asking the owner first. Childman gets my "asshole of the day" award. Just where is my camera when I need it?

Assicons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons' where:

:) means a smile and;
:( is a frown.

Well, how about some ASSICONS? Here goes:
(_!_) is a regular ass;
(___!___) is a fat ass;
(!) is a tight ass;
(_*_) is a sore ass;
{_!_} is a swishy ass;
(_o_) is an ass that's been around;
(_x_) kiss my ass;
(_X_) leave my ass alone;
(_zzz_) a tired ass;
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass;
(_$_) money coming out of his ass;
(_?_) a dumb ass;
(_jack_) a jack ass.

I wish I could take credit for this. Kudos to the person(s) who put this together. It made me chuckle.

Diet Gimmicks

So.... who doesn't want to shed a few pounds? Anyway, the advertisements on television and other media continue to promote products and pills that promise extra-ordinary results if you act now and take them up on their convenient and affordable payment plan of only $29.95 a month for three months. AND if you call within the next 10 minutes they will include Suzanne Sommers's Thigh Master Deluxe absolutely FREE!

I can't speak for other countries, but Americans are obsessed with diet and weight loss gimmicks that make it appear that purchasing their products is the magic bullet to reclaiming your youthful, slim teenage body. We are a nation of fat-so people, and we're getting fatter by the day! Pretty soon we'll all be like engorged wood ticks on the brink of explosion with teeny-tiny heads attached to large, roly-poly balls of a body. The image of Veruka Salt from the classic movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when she turns into a giant blueberry comes to mind. Jabba the Hut from Star Wars will be the norm.

Am I going to bash Valerie Bertinelli, Kirstie Alley and Queen Latifah for their sell out to the Jenny Craig weight loss empire? Hell yes! Am I going to bash all weight loss programs? Pretty much.

Again, and I hate to state the obvious, but there is no magic bullet for weight loss. All those programs and such being advertised are just money-making schemes for suckers too stupid to realize that eating McDonald's -- even without the cheese -- is likely to put on weight. I also hate to break it to you that cutting carbs out completely and other fads do not work long term.

Are you ready to hear the truth about weight loss? Here it is: diet + exercise. By diet I mean common sense stuff like portion control and such. By exercise I mean working up a sweat for 40 minutes 5 times a week. I know, it's boring, anti-climatic, and will take commitment and effort for the person aspiring results. It can't be purchased in pill or package form, either. That's why nobody pays attention.

Smoking Section

In my travels recently I stayed overnight at a smoke-free hotel. I took this photo right around the corner of the hotel facility. It must be where all the smokers congregate on break, ya think? ;)

Wedding Shakedown Part II: I Hit a Nerve

Wow... My e-mail was full of letters from people who are also sick of being cast as extras in Hollywood productions that masquarade as weddings. I did receive a couple of comments on my blog from CG and Heart, but I had no idea the nerve I hit until I opened my e-mail to the deluge of letters on the subject. I guess some people are just shy about leaving comments on blogs.

One person wrote, "I am also sick of receiving wedding invitations from people I hardly know. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I received an invitation recently to a wedding where I had never even MET the bride or groom. The groom's mother is a work acquaintance. I have no business being invited to a wedding where neither the bride nor groom recognize me."

Another wrote, "I'm so glad I'm not alone out there. It seems like so many couples these days are just trolling for cash and/or gifts."

Another wrote, "OMG, I thought I was a bitch for not appreciating the destination wedding gig. It sounds so glamorous and all. Couples planning a wedding need to put thought into what their guests can realistically afford in regards to not only money but also time needed to participate in and/or attend the wedding."

Quiet Rage is glad to open up the subject matter and bring it out of the closet. My advice to all still remains the same: Gracefully decline the wedding invitation, and send a card with sincere congratulations (no money enclosed). Maybe -- just MAYBE -- they will get the message that a sacred moment is not for profit.

Weddings: The Shakedown

Wedding season is in full swing. Wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total scrooge, and I really REALLY want people to be happy in couple-dom. I do love to attend weddings where I have a true connection to the bride and/or groom, or groom and groom, or the bride and bride, as such the case may be here in California. However, if I have have not seen you since your baptism, or have not had any contact with you for many, many moons OR you are a business associate, do me a favor and DO NOT invite me to your wedding OR your kids' weddings either for that matter. My feelings will not be hurt. Trust me. Save the postage on your ridiculous invitation riddled with instructions for gift registries, nearby hotel accommodations, shuttle service, the wedding website, and, of course, where to send cash. You know where you can put it.

More and more, I receive invitations to weddings where I feel like nothing more than a background extra in an over-blown, over-budget Hollywood production. I feel like I'm attending a play rather than witnessing a sacred moment between two people -- none of it feeling authentic. Everything feels contrived and staged right down to the garter toss and Uncle Bob doing the Chicken Dance to music louder than a sonic boom.

The wedding invitations sent to me sometimes don't include spouses and/or children. Another reason not to bother sending it. Time with my family is the most sacred thing on earth. Don't ask me to give it up. We are a package deal.

Another type of wedding where I have received invitations to are "destination" weddings, or theme weddings. Spare me. No, I don't want to fork out $3,000 to fly to Hawaii for your beach wedding and give up precious, sacred vacation time to boot. And no, I don't want to give up an entire weekend for your "wine country" wedding. Oh, you're also expecting a GIFT on top of it all as your tacky invitation instructed. Oh...but wait.... daddy's paying for the travel expenses you say? Still, please feel free to leave me out. We all have jobs, families, pets, homes, chores, and perhaps our own personal commitments. Not all of of us want to (or are able to) leave home and travel (or be gone overnight) without incurring a huge inconvenience.

Believe it or not, despite what your over-paid wedding planner is filling your head with, the world is not awaiting your wedding with bated breath. The only people who really care are your parents and yourselves. Spare us the details of the planning. Blathering on about your wedding plans and details will send anybody over the edge. We don't want to read your wedding blog/website, either -- even if it does have photos. NOBODY CARES!

Let's not get started on the public shakedown. I shit you not there was a wedding where the bride had money pinned to her dress by the men in attendance as they went up to dance with her. That is just wrong on soooooo many different levels. Is the bride for sale? Is there a bidding war? Is the bride a prostitute? Was more spent on the wedding than what could be afforded? Is this peer pressure in attempting to escalate the dollar denominations pinned to the wedding dress by publicly one-upping each other? Please, stop! I don't want to know....

Yes, I will RSVP to your wedding invitation in a timely manner. However, I'm sending my regrets. You will get a card from me congratulating you and wishing you all the best -- and I truly *truly* mean that. Just don't bother shaking the card to see how much money falls out.

Martha Stewart

There is a woman I know who has (on the surface) the perfect house, perfect kids, perfect job, etc. All of her Christmas shopping is done by Labor Day. All Christmas presents are wrapped in color coordinated paper and methodically placed under the tree. Everything in the garage has a place with a corresponding color-coded label and plastic bin. There is never anything out of place -- EVER. When I initially got to know this family, I have to admit to feeling twinges of jealousy.

Anyway... despite the perfect facade this family portrays to the public, there has always been a creepy vibe that intuitively told me that things were about to crack just under the surface. Being over there has always made me feel nervous. After all, who could be that PERFECT? It was surreal.

Today a mutual friend told me that the wife had a nervous breakdown.

Bush at the Olympics

Given that the idiot only looks at things from his own myopic, egocentric viewpoint, this photograph makes perfect sense. What a dumbass.

FlyWriter

FlyWriter came down for a visit this weekend. It had been a long, long time since we were able to get together to eat, consume large quantities of wine, and bitch about what's wrong with the world. Ahhhhh, if ONLY everybody could be like US! HA!

In the marathon venting process that lasted until the wee hours of the morning, FlyWriter provided me with more blog material than I could ever dream up on my own. Sadly, it's all true life experiences... Yes, the world is full of obnoxious, ignorant assholes. We couldn't decide if we should laugh or cry. We did a little of both. The variation of stages of human evolution that exist within the human race are too much to take at times. At least FlyWriter can help me progress forward from being constantly pissed off at the a-holes to laughing at them. I suppose my next step at some point is to pity them for they don't know how stupid and obnoxious they really are. LOVE YA, FLYWRITER!!!

Opening Ceremonies 2008

It's fun to watch the Olympics. I also enjoy watching the opening ceremonies. The refresher course in geography is especially useful for identifying countries like Kazplakistan.
Anyway... the Dutch always wear orange (see photo above -- dig the orange ties) when representing their country. Why? Because of William of Orange. Who is William of Orange? Well, read up on it to figure it out and why he's such a big deal to the Dutch. I just threw that in there for dad who I know reads this. The legacy LIVES!

Like Pot???

Yeah.... lots of people in California do. I saw this sign cruising around the county today. It made me laugh.

High Tech Stuff!

Wow!! Stuff certainly has gone 'high tech' on me. I have my environmentally friendly, energy efficient, green clothes dryer.....
AND.... I have dental floss that with regular use will laser off plaque like Luke Skywalker's light saber!
HOLY SHIT!

Why China Is So Polluted

I was at a party supply place the other day. It was filled wall to wall with cheap, plastic crap made in China. The lesson was trying to teach my daughter that there is a connection with the pictures of China and the massive pollution and to the goods for sale at this store.

BBQ Gone Bad

Tonight we attended a rather large BBQ party. It was a lot of fun until the end when one of of the women guests got into it with another female guest. The topic was GATE (gifted smart kids education). I did not hear any of the preluding conversation that led to the confrontation, but all of a sudden I heard, "You are RUDE. You made a RUDE comment."

It quickly digressed from there. Fingers were a' pokin' and accusations were a' flyin'. It was just like a scene from Jerry Springer vs. Judge Judy.

Yikes. Talk about Soccer Moms Gone Bad. Seems to be a theme going on here this past week or so. One of the women came over to me like I was supposed to jump in with some Quiet Rage comment to shut things up. I had nothing of intelligence to offer. Instead I just listened and nodded my head -- wine glass in hand. I was not about to jump into a heated argument between two drunk women at a large party when I knew nothing about what led up to the confrontation. Fortunately, pretending to listen was enough to stave off a fight....

Good thing we had several off duty law enforcement men present at the party in case things got totally ugly. Never underestimate the rage of angry soccer moms. They will rip off your head and shit down your throat. Complete psycho bitches.

Random Images from My Day

This truck was parked at the Longs Drug Store parking lot. I almost wanted to hang around and wait for the owner so I could hug him/her.
The doggie electric toothbrush was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw. Definately for people who have way too much money on their hands.

Fool on the Hill

I've been a Beatles fan even before I even realized who they were. This song has always been one of my favorites, but I must admit that the meaning didn't hit home with me until many years later.

My interpretation of the lyrics (and maybe I'm totally off base) is that people with sizable egos are running around like crazy wasting tons of energy, and the Fool on the Hill quietly realizes their misconceptions of greatness and doesn't engage in any it. The Fool knows..... but people just aren't ready to deal with it -- that's why the Fool is shunned.

Public Restrooms

I detest public restrooms. I try to plan around *not* using them. Usually they're gross, out of toilet paper, etc. For the life of me I can't imagine how some women manage to piss all over the toilet seat, and then LEAVE it for the next person. GROSS. Then there are those who like to leave their 'evidence' floating around for the next person. Are these people complete pigs? What do their homes look like? At least flush the damn toilet!

Cute as a button

No, Quiet Rage isn't all about bitter rantings;)
Isn't this baby CUTE! She is the granddaughter of one of my friends. If your heart doesn't melt looking at this, then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

High School Drop Out Rates

There is much distress amongst the educational community in regards to the high school drop out rates, especially here in California. According to statistics (if you believe them) some 20% of students drop out of high school. There are lots of theories as to why students are dropping out, but here's mine: Students are rebelling against the bullshit that is being crammed down their throats. They are rebelling against the beauracratic, paper-heavy, form filling, report writing, meaningless crap that is being flung at them.

We are failing THEM, they're not failing US. They HATE school, and can you blame them? We treat our teens like maximum security prisoners with no rights. We tell them exactly what to do at every given moment over-orchestrating their lives and their schedules, and then we wonder why in the hell they can't think for themselves once they graduate!

Well, I guess they are thinking to some extent -- there's more to life than sitting in a boring classroom listening to some over-tenured-ready-to-retire-bitter teacher blathering on with information that will never be useful.

YOU'RE OUTTA HEEEEERE!!!!!

This lovely lady coach from the California Spin managed to get herself evicted from the semi-championship softball game in Napa today. Why? Because she just couldn't shut up and deal with a call from the ump. Argue, argue, argue..... sorry, sweetheart, it just doesn't fly. If a reality tv show springs up titled "Coaches Gone Bad" this will be on the first episode. Totally Jerry Springer material. This is the ultimate White Trash Theater!!

How embarassing for the team. Some of the girls had their faces in mit for shame that their coach was acting this way. so sad... I expect to see this coach fight with Tanya Harding at the next tournament;) Money can't buy this kind of entertainment! I definately got my $3.00 worth.

Way to set the example for women in sports! Love the shot where she's spitting at the ump. I bet she's the "dominant" in whatever whaky relationship she's in;)

GET OUT!!!!!!

Every have one of those days where you're just not in the mood to see anybody, but everybody keeps on coming through the front door? Today was one of those days.

I had a *rare* day off of work, and I thought I would use it to clean the house, do laundry, etc. However, there has been a constant stream of people coming in and out of this house. It's my son's friends, my daughter's friends, neighborhood kids, inlaws, cousins, you name it, they all want to be HERE!

All I want is some peace and quiet to myself to actually get some things done. I've been tripping over bodies all day long. Not only am I tripping over bodies, they all come in through the door with their SHIT. Inevetiably, somebody forgets something. You should see the pile by my front door of shit that people have forgotten over here.

Then the phone call.. "Have you seen my (fill in the blank) I think I forgot it over at your house."

Well, good luck finding anything. I have so many damn kids and people coming and going I have no idea what belongs to who. I probably got sick if it lying around the house and asking who the owner is, got pissed off and threw it away or donated it to charity.

New Business Model: The Anti-Whiner

I'm going to go into business for myself eventually. As the thoughts of how it will all come together spin through my mind, I still struggle with how to strategize for one essential that is both a blessing and a curse: the customer.

In our current business mode, whiners are rewarded. We've been wrongly brainwashed that "the customer is always right." bullshit. The customer is whining to get a discount and/or something for free.

We've all been subject to listening to these whiners get upgrades, discounts, whatever, because they complain loudly enough and obnoxiously enough where it catches the ear of others around. Management goes into a tizzy trying to accommodate the whiner; and therefore, the whiner gets rewarded while everybody else who is NOT complaining/whining gets ignored. All of the non-whiners, who outnumber the whiners, feel this resentment in the differential treatment. This practice MUST be reversed.

My business strategy will allow my employees to evict the whiners off the premises, and then immediately go to the non-whiners who were subject to the temper tantrums of the whiners to offer something a little "special." The non-whiners will pick up on you handled the whiners and will be silently cheering you on that FINALLY somebody had the guts to tell them to "shut up and get out."

I feel the business model will be successful, because who wants a clientel of high-maintanence whiners anyway? The non-whiners will return and in greater numbers -- they are the client base you want to build upon anyway.... However, the product/service offered must be of quality and service good, otherwise it will fail. You don't want to give the whiners any justification.

Bottled Water

I received an e-mail today from my dad that got me thinking about something. Actually, I'm surprised I didn't of thinking about bitching about this before. I have to admit to some guilt on the subject I'm about to rant about. Yes, even Quiet Rage commits acts of social annoyances/stupidity that need to be corrected. Here it is: Bottled Water.

If you would have told somebody 25 years ago that people would pay a premium price for something they can get so much more cheaply out of their tap, they would have told you that you're looney. Think of the insanity of this! Do people have so much money they can piss it away (no pun intended) on bottled water? This stuff isn't cheap, people, when you begin to add it all up. The greater crime is all the pollution the empty plastic bottles cause. People are paying a lot of money for a disposable bottle. Stupid.

Fill up your re-usable water canister with tap water. Your wallet will thank you and the environment will thank you.

Never Enough

Tell me of somebody who believes they have enough money. Nobody. The same goes for any government or taxing body. I can guarantee that whatever you give them will never be enough. It's like trying to feed an insatiable monster where the more you feed it the hungrier it gets. Taxing agencies will always spend more than they collect and have their hand out to you begging for more.

Enough is enough. There is so much waste and unaccountability. It's disgusting.

Going to the Movies

With the tightening economy, many Americans are opting out of the typical 'dinner and a movie' gig. Personally, I gave up going to the movies years ago. Here's why:
1. Paying $12.50 per person for a crappy movie that will be out on DVD in a few weeks;
2. Paying $20 for watered down soda, and chemically smothered popcorn;
3. Getting my seat kicked by an obnoxious brat while his mother (or father) yaks on the cell phone;
4. People who have seen the movie before and announce what's going to happen next;
5. People who get up and down constantly to get snacks, go to the bathroom, etc.;
6. Being near a gaggle of teens who spend the entire time texting each other and giggling.
The list goes on and on. I could never figure out *why* people paid to be annoyed by other patrons. I have yet to feel deprived of not being the first to see any particular movie and by waiting for the DVD. My popcorn is better, and I can pause the movie whenever I wish to use the bathroom and not miss anything.

Worried Customers Ask: Is my bank safe?

That's the headline of today's Santa Rosa, California Press Democrat. My answer is: What the fuck do you think?

The article goes on how customers are walking into their banks and asking these questions to the bank officers and employees. ....and the worried bank account holders expect an honest answer from them after these same institutions have lied to them and coaxed them into financial products that were not in their customers' best interest?

We're supposed to believe our media and government spokespeople on the statistics and figures they present to us regarding the economy are accurate after we've all been blatantly misled? The rats have abandoned the ship -- and they're trying to have us be the ones to sink with it. Helloooooooooooooo???!!!

We have all been bullshitted for so long, nobody knows the truth anymore. We have been bamboozled with impressive, intelligent-sounding, financial voodoo math formulas that were merely a smoke-and-mirrors ploy meant to distract us from what was really going on in all sectors of the financial markets -- greed, greed, GREED!

If something is complicated and difficult to follow, like the voodoo math used in calculating and creating complex loans and other financial investment vehicles, rest assured it's NO GOOD. It's all confusing for a reason, folks, because they don't want YOU to figure out that YOU'RE getting RIPPED OFF AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!

Here's your mantra for the day: SIMPLE IS GOOD.

I Told You So...

Back in February I warned of Washington Mutual Bank being run by a bastion of greedy cluster fucks who didn't know what they were doing, and didn't care that they didn't. I then painted the same scenario regarding the financial institutions all across America. Washington Mutual stock has lost about 90% of its value over the past 12 months. Many more banks are to follow, rest assured. I also advised investing your money in your mattress. Why? Because you simply can't trust anybody to manage your money for you. People are always careless with other people's money. It's that simple.

This last week we have witnessed bank runs. Interesting. We have not seen that since the Great Depression. In the meantime we have the government telling us not to panic. Bullshit. Here's the scenario: The Titanic is sinking and the government is running around arranging deck chairs and playing nice music.

Yes, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. However, citizens are pleading to the 'government' to save us and to regulate things. I've got news for you all: The government can't do shit for you. Unless you can wipe greed out of humans, it will never change. I've yet to see a law against greed, but I'm sure they will try. Just like laws about talking on your cell phone while driving, but that's another rant.

Bankrupt: The 2nd Great Depression

The American economy drives the world economy (for the moment at least). The American economy is driven by consumer spending. Consumer spending is driven by the purchasing power of American citizens.

Guess what. We're broke.

American consumers have no more purchasing power. Period. We've maxed out our credit cards, mortgaged our homes, and sold our souls all in the name of capitalism. There is nothing left to bargain with.

We are no better off than we were in the 1930's. The Great Depression is just far enough out of our memory where I think we are doomed to repeat it again.

Downward Slope: Aging in America

Our culture is obsessed with youth, beauty, and bright, shiny objects. Americans, in general, don't respect our elders and learn from their life experiences. We ignore them and dismiss them as "over the hill" or "out of touch", etc. Our culture is so smug with youthful arrogance that anything done the "old fashioned" way is simply labeled as outdated crap, and we must adapt to the "new" way of doing things or risk being socially shunned.

Are we better of now than we were back then? We have more material stuff these days, but we are poor. It seems the farther out we go with the 'new' way of doing things, the more we slowly discover that the 'old' way of doing things was just fine the way it was.

Fireworks in California

Maybe I'm just a dumb-ass, but I can't figure out why the sale of fireworks of any kind are allowed in our tinder-dry state of California. Never mind that we've been breathing smoke from surrounding fires for almost a month now. Never mind that peak fire season isn't until October and it's only July. Never mind we have no water or manpower to speak of to put out the fires.

Perhaps the dumb Norweigans in Minnesota have something on the Californians. Minnesota doesn't allow the sale of fireworks of any kind, and I guarantee you that it's a LOT greener there than it is here. Plus, with 10,000 + lakes they have a hell of a lot more water than we do. There is no category for "safe and sane" fireworks in MN like they try to do here in CA.

The political cry resenting the proposed banning of fireworks is coming from the yuppie scum trying to use the sale of fireworks on the corner lot to pay for Johnny's state championship sport tournament. Bullshit. If the yuppie scum want to send their kids to soccer-championship whatever, they can foot the bill for it themselves without risking the rest of the community already in a high fire alert danger zone. OR think of a fund raising event that won't potentially set the entire state ablaze.