College Degree: Don't Waste Your Money

Unless you are going to college for a specific job, i.e., orthodontist, brain surgeon, etc., don't waste your money.  Most college degrees are useless and leaves students thousands of dollars in debt with the only jobs being at Starbucks paying minimum wage.  You are better off going to a community college taking job-skill related courses or checking out Khan University, YouTube, or the other vastly available online educational resources.  

Spoiler Alert:  Nobody cares where you went to college.  Nobody cares about your liberal arts degree.  

I am NOT against education by any means.  I'm against young people getting roped into student loan debt by those who bully them into thinking that if young people do not give up their first-born chasing an expensive piece of paper they will be doomed to life in shackles and chains.  

The world needs trades people, nurses, teachers, librarians, musicians, poets, writers, and others who put the personal touch on our existence.  We do NOT need any more paper pushers promoting a corporate agenda with no soul.  

MRH's Funeral

 My coven is suffering.  We have been suffering for a while witnessing the decline of MRH with her addictions and mental health issues.  It's exhausting.  How do you help someone when they refuse to disengage in the habits that are causing them more and more harm?  

All in the coven have tried to help MRH over the years with loving support.  One can only do so much without getting sucked in and drained (emotionally, physically, and monetarily) as well.   As each of us in the coven reached our limit, each established our "healthy boundaries" of disengagement to save our own sanity.  

There is one in the coven who was very vocal about her "healthy boundaries" and cut MRH out of her life.  It's not that I blame her, it's just that it was always announced to the group whenever we were together at the cabin in Northern Minnesota.  Every. Single. Time.  

This same coven member also likes attention and the spotlight.  She is always posting on FaceBook and has a strong penchant of directing every situation into something about herself.  I dare say she has narcissistic tendencies.  Yes, she was sexually abused by her father, and I am sad for that, but she wears a stamp on her forehead stating such and also announces it to anybody and everybody including cashiers and gas station attendants.  Yes, I am happy she pulled her life together and received the psychological support to help her cope.  Yes, I'm glad Spotlight Seeker is a survivor and helps other kids who are suffering.  I need to add that Spotlight Seeker has not seen MRH in a decade.  

I am getting off on a tangent.  

Where I am going is that Spotlight Seeker did not have the time of day for MRH until it was known she was in the hospital and dying.  Spotlight Seeker knew there would be no lingering commitment on her part other than showing up at the hospital.  

Out of the blue, Spotlight Seeker decided to visit MRH in the hospital with the full audience of MRH's kids and sister.  Spotlight Seeker also knew that this was prime material for FaceBook likes and attention.  Lo and behold, Spotlight Seeker posted on Facebook about MRH's death like theywerethisclose and managed to mention her childhood trauma experienced at the hands of her father.  Spotlight Seeker asked for prayers for HER for her loss and emotional duress.  The thousands of "likes" ensued. 

Well, I called out Spotlight Seeker on her sudden interest in MRH on her deathbed because she distanced herself for over a decade and wondered how the abuse she experienced had anything to do with MRH's death....let alone plastering it all over FaceBook.  

As you can imagine, it went over like a lead balloon.  We got into a huge argument.  Long story short, we did smooth things over.  However, just as we were smoothing things over another argument erupted with Spotlight Seeker and another in our coven, PMF.  

It's true.  Weddings and funerals have a tendency of brining everybody's subconscious emotions bubbling to the surface.  Sadly, the argument between Spotlight Seeker and PMF did not cool down, and it seeped into the following day at MRH's funeral.

The day of the funeral PMF was so angry she did not talk to any of us in the coven.  After the funeral,  SSP offered me a ride to the cemetery which I gladly accepted.  I had not had a chance to talk to SSP one-on-one and I was thankful for the opportunity to spend time with her.  

When we arrived at the cemetery SSP and I found the rest of the coven, sans PMF, and we all huddled together while the officiant said some prayers.  We had no idea where PMF was at.  When MRH's ashes were being lowered into the grave we all stood in a close circle, holding hands, and crying.  We kept a space for PMF as she is part of the coven as well despite the ugly argument that happened the night before at JLB's house.  

None of us saw PMF at the cemetery.  None of us saw her until the ceremony was over and we were all heading back to our cars.  I had no idea where she was standing.   I'm certain she saw us all in a circle holding hands.  What she did not see was that there was a place held for her.  

I feel badly that PMF feels badly.  The fight has spread beyond Spotlight Seeker has spread to JLB and TYD.  It's three against one.  SSP and I are on the sidelines, and we are in trouble for that because we did not jump in.  

Death brings out emotions you never knew you had.  I am hoping the coven can survive as we have been friends for 50+ years.    

Cheers to MRH

MRH was a great dancer.  She loved this video and the choreography.  I hope her soul has found peace.  

October Deaths

 Let's see.....so many of my significant relationships in life have had deaths in October.  My cousin, both my grandparents (who died on the same day 20 years apart), my auntie Em (no joke), my first serious boyfriend, and now one of my dear friends from childhood.  

Ironically, it was MRH who informed me about Dave's death last year.  Now it's her turn.  At this moment she is dying.  Last report was today around 1:30 PM Pacific time from her sister.  Her breaths were 8 per minute and they were not going to move her out of the hospital because she is so fragile and at the end of life.  MRH is calling for her deceased mother.  

Every once in a while I feel a gush of air and the hair on my arms stands up.   Her spirit guides are congregating to transition her soul and those from the other side are coming to assist her.  

 

 

Processing A Death That Has Yet to Happen

 It's official.  MRH is in hospice care.  She could go tomorrow or in a few weeks.  I am processing a death that has not yet happened.  The texts the coven are receiving from MRH's sister are heart breaking.  MRH can't feed herself, walk more than a few steps, and sleeps most of the time.  MRH did ask if she was going to be ok.  The answer the medical staff gave her was no.  She then nodded and went back to sleep.  

MRH and her then husband were the first couple we entertained and cooked dinner for at our apartment in Novato back in 1988.  JH (her husband at the time) was in the Navy and he was at Moffett Field near Mountain View.  

When MRH got her breast cancer diagnosis some years back I used to send her marijuana from CA.  I knew I was taking a risk, but I would gladly serve as the poster child from my jail cell for sending somebody suffering from the effects of radiation and chemo something to comfort them.   

MRH and JH opened their house to me when I was going through some serious marital issues.  They made room for me despite having a houseful of kids.  When their son got older he was on a semi-pro hockey team in Fresno.  We drove down to Fresno to meet up with MRH and JH to watch their son play.  They also came up to Sonoma County to visit a couple of times when they were out in CA watching their son play.   It was not too long after that MRH and JH split up.  

It's so hard to watch somebody self-destruct despite having all the resources, love, and support around them.   

Just WHERE have I BEEN lately?

 Whelp.... I have hardly slept in my own bed since June.  For the three actual readers of this dumb blog this may make some sense as to why I have been so quiet for 2025.  

I travel a lot.  Most of it is for work.  I have been to Chicago, Alaska, Hawaii, San Diego, Tahoe, PLEASANTON  (there is nothing pleasant about Pleasanton, California) just like there is nothing pleasant about Pleasant Hill,,,where there is no hill and nothing is pleasant.  My company thinks there is something magical about getting all of us together in a stuffy conference room in a non-descript office park in San Ramon, which is near Pleasanton,....not to be mistaken for Martinez nor Walnut Creek.  Hard to tell the difference.    

I just found out I get to ditch out on Washington D.C.  Thank GOD!  Why?  Air traffic controllers are walking off the jobs as they are not getting paid due to the government shut-down.  

Here's my unsolicited advice:  if you do not have to travel by air.....don't.  You are safer accepting a ride in a beat-up van with a crack-head driver who jokes about raping and killing you.   

42 Years Ago Today

42 years ago today my cousin-sister died in an automobile accident in rural North Dakota.  42 years ago my boyfriend at the time tried to console me.  He is now dead as well.  

There is now another death that is pending.  MRH was one of my high school besties.  We were on the dance line together and we would hang out on the weekends.  She would also participate in our coven weekends in northern Minnesota at Blue Eagle's cabin before she totally went off the rails.  Sadly, MRH has had a very difficult life despite being born the baby princess to her financially secure family who doted on her.  MRH has been on a downhill spiral ever since her dad died about a year ago (her mom passed a few years ago).  MRH has been struggling with mental health issues along with being a raging alcoholic for many, many years.  It has cost MRH her husband, siblings, and kids.   

MRH came out to visit me a year ago February.  She functioned like a 5 year old kid.  It was exhausting.  This was before her dad died and even then I wondered then what she was going to do when he died as he was already in his 90's. 

Today my Minnesota coven received a text from MRH's sister stating that she is in the hospital in critical condition.  She had not left her apartment in 2 months and ordered everything online.  MRH called 911 after drinking a bottle of rubbing alcohol at 3:00 AM.   

Drinking the rubbing alcohol was the straw that broke the camel's back.  MRH had resumed drinking heavily despite many, many attempts at rehabilitation.  Her mental status does not help.  Fighting depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and anxiety only pretty much guaranteed she would not get better.   

I'm waiting for the text stating that MRH has passed.  I have this sinking feeling she will not leave the hospital.   

For what it's worth, the song 'Leave It' by YES will ALWAYS remind me of MRH as will the phrase, "Sit on a corn cob and ROTATE."  I can still see her in the high school gym at dance line practicing a dance she had choreographed to it.  She was a really great dancer.