Why is it MY Problem YOU did not SAVE YOUR $$$$$$$$$$$

 It's headed there.  Yup, there is trouble in my marriage.  I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.  My sister-in-law, who is elderly and broke, is now showing signs of dementia.  I'm now taking care of her personal bill paying.  I can't ask her anything, as she tap dances and does not give me a straight answer.  I have to go online to her accounts to see balances and activity. 

Hubby defends his sister and gets upset when I ask uncomfortable questions like, "Your sister is broke.  She owes $15,000 in credit card debt.  Her IRA distribution of $400 per month will run out in 2.3 years.  She needs that money to survive.  She has $250 in her checking account and zero savings.  We pay for her property taxes, fuel, auto registration, cell phone and more.  She can't get a reverse mortgage because she lives in a mobile home.  The rent on her mobile home space is going up January 1, 2025.  She blew her significant inheritance on crap made in China.  Yes, I have her on a wait list for low-income senior housing, but that wait is 3-5 years.  When we asked her POINT BLANK yesterday at our kitchen table what her long term plan was, she said she does not have one."

What frosted my behind was when I told her she does not have one nickle to spare she just giggled.  

I don't want her living here.  I think that is her passive-aggressive plan.  Plus, she does NOTHING to better her situation.  She does not take care of herself.  She does not exercise.  She can get a free hot lunch at the senior center Monday - Friday to either eat there or take it to go.  She won't do it.  They have services at the senior center.  She won't participate. 

Please people, don't dump your own elder care onto others.  You will get old someday.  You will need care.  Also, don't expect the money fairy to appear out of nowhere (whether it is the government or family members) to bail you out.  

Living alone on an island is sounding better and better.

David Allen Novitsky

 Scorpios.  I'm surrounded by them.  I have tumultuous relationships with Scorpios.  Someone once told me that the most complicated and explosive, intense relationships are between Scorpios and Pisces.  I don't know if that's true or not, but it's been my life experience thus far.  

After the death of my "first" love, I've gone back and read all my journal entries from high school.  Dave was mentioned almost daily for three years.  So much emotion, so much angst, so much insecurity on my part.  I finally got the strength to pull away from him.  Fast forward 41 years.  I never thought I would be participating via streaming for his funeral.  Dave was a huge chapter of my life, despite a confusing and awful one.  

I have pictures from high school dances that I almost shared on this blog.  I got an unnerving chill that Dave did not want that.  I'm not so sure I'm compelled to honor him after the way he treated me.  He certainly did not honor ME.  I might post the pictures, anyway. 

Yes, Dave was an abusive asshole.  One of my coven said it best that what I'm feeling is an uncomfortable sadness.  That assessment was spot on.  All of the memories came bubbling up to the surface watching his service this morning.  Dave could be incredibly funny and charming - he could also be very sadistic.  He was almost like a Jekyll and Hyde.  Believe it or not, I started crying when the priest went to the urn and blessed it, and then watching people come up to the urn after the service and have their moment.  Now Dave is a pile of ash.  Gone. 

Dave's own family did not speak to him (and vice versa) at the end.  Tells you a lot about his character.

https://www.millerfuneralfridley.com/obituaries/david-novitsky

Trader Joe's = Yuppie Wal Mart

 Trader Joe's is in trouble these days for listeria outbreaks in their products.  Well, to be fair it is more than just Trader Joe's.  I'm not sure where my rant will go today.  It will either to be the poor quality of American foods (overly processed and full of chemicals) or the type of people who shop at Trader Joe's.  

Hmmm,,,  decisions decisions.

Despite it's popularity, I've never been a huge fan of Trader Joe's.  Sure, they have some good deals on wine from time to time, but I've never been super impressed with their foods.  The customers at Trader Joe's are Whole Foods wannabes.  There is a reason Trader Joe's has the moniker "Yuppie Wal Mart."

Even Whole Foods has taken a nose dive since Amazon acquired them a few years ago.  When an acquisition happens, corporate ALWAYS promises they won't mess with the way things are currently done.  They always do.  Everything is profit driven, remember that. 

Bottom Line:  If you can't pronounce the items on a products ingredient list, it is more than likely harmful for your health.  Eat at home.  Make what you can yourself.  No, I'm not a food Nazi, but be leery of anything that comes in a bag or a box.  Buy locally. 

The Last of My First

 This is difficult for me to write.  I found out that my first serious boyfriend (and the one I lost my virginity to) died over the weekend.  I don't know any other details of the death as of yet.  The weird thing was that I had a dream about him on Friday night.  In the dream he kept on wanting to get back together with me, but I did not want to.  He kept rubbing my back like he used to do when we were together.  In my dream I thought that was going too far as I'm married to somebody else.  He then was holding a baby girl that seemed to be about 6-9 months old.  She was our daughter????  She had the big, blue eyes ex-boyfriend had.  He took her away from me because he I would not get back together with him.  The whole dream was weird, and I told my husband about it when I woke up in the morning.

The first thing I said was, "Why on earth would I dream about HIM?"

He was a big chapter in my life.  We had a very tumultuous relationship that lasted 3.5 years.  That is a long time when you're 16 - 19 years old.  I can honestly say he was a mistake, but for whatever reason I needed to learn something from him.  

I did not keep in contact with him after we broke up. I know he wanted to keep in contact.  I never knew if I would bump into him in Nordeast when I was visiting my family and friends in Minnesota.  

I guess where I'm going with this is that I'm emotional about his death, and I don't know why.  He was not a "good guy."  Death is just so final.  The universe has deemed that no other lessens are to be learned during this incarnation for us.  Our karma is complete for this lifetime. 

Warning to Ex-Boyfriend:  I won't forget our relationship and what you put me through.  Plan your next life accordingly.  I'll be waiting - it's your turn to be on the suckie end of things next time. LOL.  

Oh NO!!! Politics in my Coven :(

 As it turns out, not going to the Bahamas was a blessing in disguise.  When the wine starts flowing, so do mouths.  Our country is so divided right now politically, and sadly that has seeped into the coven.  One comment led to another comment and the heated debate was on.  I knew SSP would be the neutral one, as that is her nature.  Even if she holds beliefs that are not the same as others she does not stir the pot nor inflame a a tense situation.

Maybe this is why SSP and I are "soul sisters."  We don't throw gasoline on fires.  Maybe it's because we both have relatives who are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, and having different viewpoints is not something that we think of as a big deal - nor do we personally shame and ridicule anybody who does not share our viewpoints.  

I feel so badly for PMF.  She grasciously opened up her home and ended up getting yelled at and insulted by guests.  PMF did not start the argument. 

I hope this all blows over.  I love all of them too much to let politics get in the way.  I hope they feel the same way eventually after time calms the emotions.  

It's been a week of weirdness.  

My son was in a serious car accident coming back from Reno.  The car is totaled.  It's a miracle the car spun the way it did and the back ended up taking most of the impact.  They were lucky in that regard.  My son-in-law drove from San Jose to Reno to pick him and bring him home.  

The very same morning my son was in the car accident in Reno, I got my bumper tapped on 101 just north of Todd Road.  We both pull over to the shoulder to assess the damage.  Here it is a guy I work with who was heading to the very same meeting I was.  I started laughing.  He was sooooooo embarrassed.  There was zero damage that he caused.  Sure, my bumper has a couple of very minor scrapes, but it had nothing to do with him tapping it.  We both arrived at the meeting at the same time.  He walked into the conference room and said, "Hey everybody, guess who I bumped into today."

Other weird things kept happening this week.  I'm going to blame the full moon.  

My daughter's favorite chicken died unexpectedly. 

Bahama Mammas

My Minnesota coven is heading to the Bahamas on Wednesday.  I should be with them.  One of my besties, PMF, and her husband bought a place down there and she is gracious enough to host us for a week.  

I feel badly as I've not been with my group for the past few times they have gotten together.  The timing just has not worked out.  I miss them.  

Well, lo and behold, my last post was about traveling and getting sick.  I just got back from San Diego after being there for about a week for a work trip.  We all started falling like dominoes with COVID.  I've had the 'jab' five times and have contracted it twice before.  A couple of my colleagues are in the hospital - and these are tough guys who don't get sick.  

Going to the Bahamas just was not meant to be.  

PMF, JLB, TYD, SYB, SSP, I will be with you all in spirit.  Sorry I've been so absent this year.  :(

Travel BUG

 It's been a very busy year for Quiet Rage.  I have not posted the usual number of rants I usually do for lack of time.  I can hear the universe cheering for that.

Well, I'm going to burst the universe's bubble and post.  Again, feel free to move on if you don't like what I write.  Your open eyeballs are not stitched to the screen.  

I have been traveling quite a bit this year - most of it is for work.  I'm in the contract negotiating cycle, which happens once every three years.  November 30 will officially mark the end of it.  Everything with my work travel is back into full swing now that COVID travel paranoia has passed.  My industry LOVES in-person meetings in far-flung locations (mostly on the east coast).  It is for this reason I miss COVID.  

Anyway, the title of this blog post is Travel Bug.  I emphasize the BUG.  Nothing spreads germs more than airports and travel.  You can pretty much bet that if you fly, you will get sick -- especially this time of year.  Granted, most of the sickness travel causes is nothing more than the annoying cold.  

Here's my grievance.  WHY DO PEOPLE COUGH INTO THEIR HANDS?  They then want to shake your hand.  They are also the same people who will cough into their hand AND THEN USE THE SERVING UTINSILS AT THE FOOD BUFFET.  

GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate buffets for this simple reason.  

Why don't people cough and sneeze into their elbow crease?  Using the elbow crease, unlike your HAND, won't be used to push elevator buttons, open doors, shake hands, use food serving utensils, etc., spreading slimey germs everywhere.   

Here's the kicker.  So many people think they are being sooooooo classy when they cough into their hand like they are so refined, well-bred and considerate of others.  NOPE.  Oh, and I don't even want to guess what they do (or rather NOT do) after they use the toilet.  

TRAVEL BUG!!!!!!!  DON'T GET IT!  WASH YOUR HANDS!  COUGH INTO YOUR BENT ELBOW.