Perfect Mess

I would say that my life is the perfect mess right now.  I've been teetering on the edge of "what's next" and suddenly along comes a huge gust of wind that just pushed me into uncharted territory.  
I've been mentally bracing myself for transition for a few years now.   I knew it was coming.  Denial is a wonderful aid, and busying myself with surface noise and distractions also works well.   It's so much easier not to think too deeply or deal with our inner issues. 

It's a strange feeling now that the house is eerily silent and nobody is around.  I craved silence and solitude for 27 years, as I never had a moment for myself.  Ever.  For years I just wanted everybody OUT of my house. 

Be careful what you wish for.