The Quiet Rage

San Francisco Bay Area Map

2012-01-26T17:24:00.000-08:00

Click on photo to enlarge. I stole this from a very astute young man. LOVE IT!!!!!

Petaluma Dutra Plant

2012-01-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

Wow.... the Bored Moms on Prozac committee is all over this one. I wonder just how many of them showed up to the meeting to protest driving a SUV?

Facebook is EVIL

2012-01-21T11:29:00.000-08:00

It's about to go public, people..... all the crap you have posted is about to become a corporate data gold mine. You have freely shared every detail of your life: where you live, to whom you are married, where you work, where you went to school, where you went on vacation, names of friends, names and ages of your children, in addition to what you had for dinner along with mundane status updates of your daily life COMPLETE WITH PICTURES that are now scanned for face recognition software to complete the Big Brother database.

Do yourselves a favor and DELETE it all NOW. Still, what has once been electronically posted lives forever. Stop the privacy hemorrhaging.

Faith vs. Deeds

2012-01-20T19:47:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of having my son home on military leave for a bit. Now that he's a grown man and completely independent, he has no qualms telling me about the incidents that have scarred him for life. Here's one from days LONG gone by when I actually gave organized religion some credit. I was still influenced by the elder in-laws. Mistake.

Anyway, the church incident that my son could not wrap his brain around actually explains why the far right so-called Christians is so full of hypocrites. I think it's the Repubican mantra (misspelling intended). See, it's not the DEEDS done WRONG that God judges....... it's the depth of your FAITH.

WTF?????? Let's follow this non-logic. You can axe murder an entire village....... but if you have true FAITH, your deeds will be forgiven. It sure explains why so many holier-than-thou right wingers commit horrible deeds, but then turn around and get all preachy on everybody else. See, it's OK to screw over other people and act like a complete ass.......... just as long as you tell God at night how much you believe, and then get up in front a bunch like-minded morons every Sunday and reiterate.

What a load of crap.

Did I say moron? Oh, I thought it was Mormon. I want to ask Mitt Romney if he is wearing his special, protective, secret underwear that was given him as a rite of passage when Morons turn of age. It will stop a speeding bullet. It will shield against all the evil free thinkers who dare question such blind faith. I guess the special underwear kind of works like Superman's cape -- you know -- all full of special powers and such.

Good Luck with that.....

1970's

2012-01-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

Things I miss.....

Rollerskating
Iceskating
ELO
Disco
TigerBeat
Donny Osmond
Jimmy Carter
Old Dutch Potato Chips (ha ha ha)

I Got Pregnant! Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? I Totally Did

2012-01-09T22:44:00.001-08:00

2012

2012-01-04T21:29:00.000-08:00

Well, my predictions for 2011 came true. I won't bore you with re-posting them as any moron could have predicted them. You know, politicians lying, Wall Street execs getting away with financially raping us, etc. Basically..... the theme is the working guy trying to do the right thing and being honest is getting screwed with out a kiss while the people who break the rules get rewarded. Period.

My wish for 2012? Other than mid-east terrorists blowing up Wall Street execs and their whore politicians in elevators? hmmmmmmmm Just WHERE is Freddy Kruger with Ahmad Kameel when you need them?

Here is my wish for 2012. I have a dear, dear friend back home who is dealing with cancer. Her wish? Just to not have cancer. How pure of a wish is that? Here I blog and bitch about meaningless shit that pisses me off...and in the big picture none of what I bitch about means shit. M's wish????? Just to NOT have to deal with cancer. My wish is her wish..... Telling cancer to f*** off so we can continue blasting our "mutual" friends on facebook, drink wine, and laugh at your collective dumb-asses.

Sorry, M, I did not post pics of myself naked in my bedroom, nor did I post pics of myself cleaning my boyfriends teeth with my tongue. Just WHAT would we laugh at???????? Our love being like chili and onions???? Bwa-haaaaaaaaa... just remember always.... as I start my truck in the morning to go to work, the key that starts my truck is like the key to your heart.

Yes.... people post lame shit like this on fb..... we laugh at YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old Dutch Potato Chips

2012-01-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

Those from the midwest can still hear the jingle to this day.......... "Old Dutch Potato Chips."

Oh yeah..... there is still the familiar chip bag at 7-11 next to the slurpee machine with the big-ass picture of the wind mill on it.......

My BFF from grade school used to baffle me with the sandwiches she would eat. It was bologna in between two slices of white bread , a slice of velveta, Miracle Whip, and topped with OLD DUTCH POTATO CHIPS. The chips would give it that irrristible sandwich crunch. To hell with Taco Bell thinking their "crunch wrap supreme" with ooozy cheese and corn chips is something new. We've been scarfing that toxic shit since we first got stoned in 1975.

Fat. Salt. Crunch. We were in heaven. You ain't got nothin' on us. Try again. Homeboy.

Can't Handle Christmas Anymore

2011-12-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

Deep breath. Another holiday season of complete dysfunction with non-blood relatives has come to pass. Thank God. Not that my own blood relatives are any better, but they are 2,000 miles away and not around to piss me off on a daily basis. This year was especially interesting. I suppose part of it is my own growing detachment from this clan of whack-o's.

I ALWAYS host Christmas morning breakfast. There is a tradition in Clan Whack-o that goes back to their family in northern Europe. How I got suckered into hosting is beyond me. Anyway, that's beside the point. I've been doing it for several years. Still, about two weeks prior to Christmas I snail mail out a notice that I'm planning on hosting and what time breakfast will be ready. Nobody has to guess or assume. I loathe the 'third party' indirect invitation that you will get from an aunt or somebody that goes something like this, "Well, I know that Betty is serving Christmas breakfast. I'm sure if you showed up they would love it."

Maybe not.

Invitations to somebody's home for an event should ALWAYS be direct. Nobody should hear it third hand. Plus, life changes or other plans may interfere with this year's traditional Christmas breakfast and the hostess is not hosting this year due to travel plans, work, health reasons or WHATEVER. Invitations need not be formal. A phone call usually suffices. Also, never assume just because it's been a tradition for the past few years that it's going to happen every year.

That's where I messed up.

Clan Whack-o was silent on any plans for Christmas dinner. I saw some of them two days prior to Christmas and nothing was said about anything. OK. I can deal with that. If they're not in the mood to deal with us that's their privilege. Nobody owes me/us anything. Not wanting to be caught without anything for Christmas dinner, I ordered my own slab of meat and went grocery shopping planning our own little gathering. No hard feelings. I was looking forward to the small, intimate gathering and meal.

That's when all hell broke loose.

The phone rings Christmas Eve at about 11:30 AM with a member of Clan Whack-o on the other end. She says, "You know I'm hosting Christmas dinner."

To which I replied in a very non-angry tone, "Ummmmmmmm, no I did not. Nobody said anything to us, so I went grocery shopping already and planned our own meal."

That's when the bawling started from Clan Whack-o. I went on to say that nobody said anything to us, and I did not know if Clan Whack-o may have had plans with their inlaws in SF to celebrate. I did not know if they all made travel plans and they were all going out of town, or busy with work, had the flu, think I'm a bitch and don't want me around, or just plain not in the mood to cook Christmas dinner. Bottom line: I was not a mind reader.

You would not believe the angry phone calls Clan Whack-o made. Wow. I'm the BAD GUY because I did not read minds, did not assume anything, and did not invite myself to their house.

How am I thanked by putting up with this crap? By having the Melting Snow Woman (name from rapid, surgically induced weight loss) passed out from booze and pills in my kitchen at 1:30 PM while I'm cleaning up bacon grease off the ceiling (don't ask) as Melting Snow Woman's mother looks at her adoringly saying over and over, "Oh.... look at my poor baby."

Poor Baby was slumped over in a kitchen chair drooling. She had the head-bob thing going from time to time. That's how we knew she was still alive.

Oh, it gets better.

Later on when Melting Snow Woman wakes up and comes to, the party moves to another member of Clan Whack-o. Melting Snow Woman goes on to grab the nieces and nephews (including her own daughters) in very inappropriate ways. When the one daughter retaliates against Melting Snow Woman for feeling her up, the mother of Melting Snow Woman tisk-tisk's the VICTIM of what I consider child molestation.

That did it. I'm out of there. I warned my own kids of their sick relative's behavior and out the door we went. What kind of sick family dynamic coddles a drugged up, drunk, child molester and scolds the victims? As we were leaving, Melting Snow Woman's mother was rubbing her drunk daughter's head and cooing about how much she loved her. Who is sticking up for the kids being grabbed and fondled by Melting Snow Woman? Do they know how damaging this is to them? How fucked is it that grandma is protecting the perpetrator and the rest of the family stands by saying NOTHING?

Sick. The entire family needs AA, Co-Dependents Anonymous, detox, and intensive therapy.

Snoopy's Ice Arena

2011-12-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Charles Schultz, for bringing a little bit of Minnesota to Santa Rosa. Like you, I miss the proliferation of ice skating rinks that are scattered everywhere. I also miss shoveling off the ice on the lake to set up my own skating area. However, I DON'T miss the dogs pissing on the ice that causes a frozen, yellow bump that catches my toe pick causing me to fall face first. SMACK!! It was like heaven to shovel off a nice, flat, snow-free, bump-free hunk of ice to practice our Dorthy Hamil moves on.

Oh Charles, you would be heart broken if you went back to Minnesota now. The warming houses that once were the neighborhood hangouts in our youth have all gone by the wayside due to budget cuts by the parks-n-rec. Gone are the days of getting the kid with the longest scarf to give it up to play 'whip.' Gone are the days of coming in from outside with frozen toes and everybody fighting for space on the wall heater to warm up. Gone are the days of everybody fighting over the thing that looked like a J-hook to lace up our skates with. Also gone are the days of everybody fighting over the boot box that had two slats of wood with about an inch of space in the middle that comfortably cradled our blade while we laced up. Also gone is the bowling alley in the basement of Apache Plaza and the little place where everybody would get their blades sharpened for about a buck. Ahhhhhhhh........ there was nothing like newly sharpened blades on a warn-in pair of skates. Awesome. Hitting clean ice with sharp blades felt like butter. So much control. So much precision.

I've been to Snoopy's Ice Arena a few times. People don't stop to think that ice skating is a very dangerous sport. Some of it is people just being unfamiliar with the sport. I suppose it's awkward for people to skate for the very first time and getting used to the sensation of it all. I would not know. The first time I skated on ice was at the age of three. It's more natural than walking for me.

That was until I went back to Snoopy's as I was feeling lonely for ice. I did not have my own skates available, so I rented a pair. What shocked me was how DULL they were when I hit the ice. Dull skates are like a dull knife -- very dangerous. No wonder the newbies were flailing all over in the crappy, rent-a-skates.

Moral of the story: Ask for sharp skates.

Christmas Countdown

2011-12-22T09:44:00.000-08:00

Ready or not, here it comes.... Christmas insanity. In speaking with my female friends we are all having mixed feelings about hosting any gatherings. It seems the same women host year after year with little or no reciprocation, help, or thanks. It's expected. We fantasize that it would be so easy to just show up somewhere with a bottle of wine and a pie.

See, nobody really wants to host because it's soooooooo much WORK. It's the planning, cleaning, cooking, shopping, cleaning up afterwards, extra tables, extra this, extra that, etc. The reward for jumping through hoops for your inlaws or whomever? Somebody will bitch that the gravy was not to their liking or the meat was too over/under cooked, walk out the door, and leave you with a pile of dirty dishes that reaches the ceiling.

The non-hosting females chime in saying, "Oh, but we will all pitch in and HELP! You won't have to do anything."

....another line of shit. Having too many in the kitchen is just fodder for disaster. They are always just in my WAY and constantly bugging me as to where I keep my wooden spoons, saran wrap, and the like while their kids are running amok and spilling orange juice all over my couch.

Why do we do this year after year? Good question. Everybody claims TRADITION. I say bullshit. What are we ingraining in our daughters? To become slaves?

Big Shrimpin'

2011-12-19T20:28:00.000-08:00

The History Channel is getting desperate for material. First, we had IRT (Ice Road Truckers). How many episodes can we take of semi trucks cracking the ice and fearing falling in the water before the plot gets as tired as a re-run? Yeah, it's cold. Yeah, ice can support a tremendous amount of weight. Yeah, a blizzard can mess you up. (Yawn and reach for remote) What else is on?

The History Channel now presents us with (drum roll, please) Big Shrimpin. No kidding. The show features cast rejects from the movie Deliverance complete with missing teeth, stained t-shirts, corn cob pipes, and a southern drawl so thick that although technically speaking English subtitles are needed. They spend their days trolling the gulf dragging their nets for shrimp. Yup. That's it. They get the bad weather episode, the engine trouble episode, and the episode where Litta Fella almost gets eaten by a shark. Oh, I forgot the episode where Captain Roundhead's son almost had his foot explode like a giant zit from puss and infection after spilling gasoline on it and lighting it on fire and they had to go back to shore to bring him to a hospital. Tuff guy.

Then we have Captain Redbone who looks like a growly pirate. He always has a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Congrats Middle Age Betch!

2011-12-13T23:22:00.000-08:00

I know a woman who is almost 50 years old. She is a mother of multiple teen children who are running rampant around Sonoma County stealing clothing items and whatnot from friends and fucking whomever. The marriage itself has been in and out of trouble for two decades.

The husband works his ass off. He owns his own business. The wife is a high-maintenance, hyper, prima donna who really does not want to work. Her cover for now is being a full-time student. Yeah..... tell me about that psychology major as your kids are caught stealing at the local store and about the cops called to your house on a domestic violence. ....and you want ME to pay YOU for therapy?????????????

Bottom line: At age 50, you are closer to retirement than to launching a new career. I totally encourage you to educate yourself, but don't expect an employer to pick you up as you fill out your social security forms. At this point you are wasting your time and money getting a general degree. Your return on the educational investment is negative. The cover of full-time-student-intellectual-wanna-be is wearing thin. Gig is up. Get a job.

Anti-Social Social Networking

2011-12-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, in the aftermath of the bored housewives on prozac Facebook lameness f****** overload I will create the ultimate media -- social networking for the anti-social. Posting any matter revealing anything personal will result in your fingers being zapped by keyboard causing your manicure to melt. Status updates declaring your undying love in regards to yourself and your wonderful significant other will cause tear gas to emit from your webcam. Yes, we are all gagging and crying, too..... you might as well join in.

No, we don't post much.... we don't WANT to. Posting would mean you would know our whereabouts, and we all know how noid we all are fearing black government vans following us around. Besides, being the anti-social rejects we are, posting would make us more visible -- something we go to great lengths to avoid.

Bottom line: The people who don't post are the ones worth inquiring about. They are too busy living their lives to be constantly hooked to some ego-stroke software app giving constant updates nobody gives a fuck about.

Graziano's and McNear's: Petaluma's old and tired establishments

2011-12-10T21:50:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a nice restaurant in Petaluma called Graziano's. The place had its peak 15 or so years ago. What used to be a killer meal with killer service has become tired and complacent -- much like McNear's down the street where the owners think they are owed a living.

Graziano's: Food is still pretty good, but service is tired. The meal is not worth the price. Watch out for wine rip-off. A bottle of Raffanelli zin that used to be about $45 a year ago jumped to $80. And..... just WTF is up with the stupid-ass vodka bar? I could go back to Minnesota and drink vodka out of the trunk of my car in -40* weather. Really. Vodka bar and Italian restaurant does not go together. Think of a better gimmick, QUICKLY.

McNear's: The food sucks. The owner is an asshole. I'm not sure if the public knows that the entire building is infested with rodents. Take a look, people..... that's NOT pepper on your food. I've known of a lot of people who barf after eating their chicken strips. For real. I'm surprised that the rodent police have not shut them down yet.

Bottom line: Petaluma has many, MANY eating establishments worthy of your business. The above mentioned do not. Better yet -- go to Cotati. Cotati has the best of the best in Sonoma County -- and I mean the best of everything.

Just so you know........ a lot of downtown Petaluma restaurants are on the Petaluma River. The river is infested with rats. McNear's and Graziano's are no exception. If you like rat shit in your food...... oh well..... bon apetit!

Smelly Towel Head

2011-12-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

.....oh, I suppose I should refer to the towel head as a sheet head. I like the ring of that better. Sheet head. ha ha ha ha

I have a dear friend who lives in England. Back in 2005 we went to visit my dear friend and her family. We flew from San Francisco to Minneapolis - Minneapolis to Amsterdam -- Amsterdam to Manchester. Damn. That was the longest string of flights ever. Using frequent flier miles was never more torturous. Anyway, the flight from Amsterdam to Manchester was the most bothersome. The flight was FULL of Mulsim-type freaks who were perving on my 9 year old daughter. They also smelled so badly that I had to burrow my head downward and inhale into a pack of spearment gum as their body oder was really that obnoxious. I would have thrown up otherwise. I kid you not. Their body oder really WAS that bad. I'm surprised they were allowed on the flight to begin with as their body oder alone qualified as chemical warfare.

Upon arrival I told my English friend of the flight of horrid perverts and smells. She told me they felt completely overwhelmed on their tiny island of foreign invaders. I completely understand.

Duggar Miscarrage

2011-12-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

Even God is telling the Duggars to stop reproducing like rabbits. Enough is enough. Really. You could have stopped at six kids, but that does not warrant your own tv show and media frenzy. Sorry about the missed commercial endorsements for breaking the world record of popping out kids like a pez despenser, Jim Bob and Betty Sue. Are you Mexican? You all sure as shit act and reproduce like them. Perhaps you're just white trash. White trash tends to reproduce enmasse. Are you Mormon? It's not going to do Mitt Romney any good for kids who aren't old enough to vote. Are you Catholic? I have to give Catholics credit for having homosexual sex that does not end up with another (yawn) unwanted pregnancy in this already overpopulated world.

I hear a squeal coming from the backyard. It's a racoon giving birth. I thought for a moment it was Michelle Dugar. Please, put your uterus into retirement. It's time. Besides, I'm sure your husband is really more interested in your 20 year-old daughter(s) right about now. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's the family dirty little secret.

See you all in Fucked Up Family Therapy.

Censorship - the Great Government Goal

2011-12-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

I'm leery about the vanishing written word on actual paper. I'm leery about the post office going away despite the fact that I sort my mail outside standing at the recycling bin and throw away 95% of it. I'm leery about cutting library hours even more. Here's why.....

Just think about how easy it is to edit or delete information when it comes in electronic form. Just think about how easy it is to track all electronically submitted correspondence. All sense of privacy is gone. Just think how dependent we are on electricity to even access information via electronic means. There is potentially too much power at the hands of the controlling few.

I'm not so sure about all of this, guys. The Big Brother we all feared in 1984 and then dismissed has come home to roost.

Lucky's Self Checkout

2011-12-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

I blogged over a year ago about how I loathe both Lucky and the self-checkouts. Scum attracts scum and now there is criminal activity going on with scammers stealing debit card information. Great. I hope the payroll taxes and workers' compensation insurance savings was worth it for Lucky to use robo-employees. I find it hard to believe that survailence cameras did not pick up anything. I suppose when Lucky employees are too busy chatting with other employees and ignoring the customers there is no time to pay attention to what's going on.

Here's a tip for using your debit card. Be very careful where you use it. Don't use your debit card at gas pumps, outdoor bank teller machines, or other places that are not operated by a human indoors. Crime rings are planting skimming devices EVERYWHERE.

Disclose the Office Budgets - NOW!

2011-12-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

CA State Assembly Members are right now at this moment scrambling on how to cover up their obscene office budgets. Only the honest ones will disclose immediately and not hide behind some bullshit "further direction" prompt that will more than likely be scripted smoke and mirrors tactics put together with yet even more nonsense politician logic.

Of course they're hiding something..... believe me. They don't WANT you know.

Hint to the public and to the press: Keep digging. Like I've said 1,000 times before, it only gets worse. Don't believe for one minute that CA's budget woes are from keeping some library open. The closer you get to the top, the more obnoxious and wasteful it becomes. The politicians are all hands in the cookie jar. You, dear taxpayers, are getting screwed without a kiss.

Mitt Romney.... why don't they like me?????

2011-12-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

.....because you're a mormon.... or it is a moron..... or both....hard to tell the diff.

Mortgage Craziness

2011-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

True story. I know of people (not personal friends of mine, I might add) who are getting PAID by the bank not to trash their house before it gets foreclosed on.

What? Has the entire world gone nuts? I guess so. The people I'm talking about bought a luxury home and the woman drives around in a fancy European sports car. No shit. Not only do they skip out on their mortgage, live somewhere without making a payment for a year and a half, but get a BONUS for not trashing the place prior to moving out.

I'd have lots of money for Christmas gifts, too, if I could live somewhere payment-free and then got bonus money to move out without being a complete pig. The people walk away from their mortgage and get paid. The bank takes a loss and then cries to taxpayers for a bailout. I really am stupid for being honest and trying.

I'm Sexy and I Know It

2011-11-30T23:50:00.000-08:00

Yeah.... for real..... there is something very "Weird Al" about this. I love it.

It's Fucky Out: Momma Finn

2011-11-29T22:20:00.000-08:00

One of my BFF's in Minnesota had a Finnish speaking mother. God bless you if you can understand a Finn. I spent a lot of time at my friend's house, so some words just were damn funny to hear. One thing that sticks out to this day is when it's foggy outside, like it is here tonight in Sonoma County. My friend's mom would say that it's "fucky" out. Ok.... I was 10 years old. Hearing such language was cause for a gasp followed by howling laughter. Her cute accent was adorable. She also had a way of asking us girls to do the dishes that to this day I can not quite repeat correctly.

This same Momma Finn would also buy us beer as underage kids. We would go to the cabin where us teens actually had our own cabin ALL TO OURSELVES - as they owned three on the lake. Momma Finn had the main cabin, and us kids had the party cabin. We would sit around the campfire with Momma Finn drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and telling stories. Imagine. Seventeen year old kids hanging out with 45 year olds and LIKING IT! I also remember playing cards and then skinny dipping just because we could. There was something very freeing about it all.

That's about the time Beanie magically showed up on his bike......he rode 70 miles just to be there.

Black Friday or Thanksgiving?

2011-11-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

They've finally done it. They have commercialized the hell out of Thanksgiving. Nobody is even talking about Thanksgiving, just the stupid-ass Black Friday Consumer Frenzy that follows.

Once upon a time, there was something called Sunday and holidays to spend relaxing with family and friends -- or in quiet reflection alone. Stores were closed on Sundays. Nobody worked Sundays. The world paused for a moment. It was expected and nobody was made to feel guilty for the break.

Then bit by bit stores were open on Sundays and people worked Sundays. The time for pausing was eliminated. Sunday just became another day of the week. The only thing left sacred was Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Well, now that's gone too thanks to big box retailers hocking shit made in China paying their employees minimum wage to give up what's left of a family holiday to report to work at midnight to break up fights in the store aisles between materialistic women tug-of-warring over the latest toy-rage-gadget whatever.

I don't know who I hate more -- big box retailers or the dumb-ass shoppers lining up at midnight. I want to take a paint ball gun and pummel them all.

I can only control my own actions, and I can guarantee I will not enter any type of shopping establishment on Thanksgiving Day or line up outside of BigBox central. Refuse to participate in this madness.

Oijua Board

2011-11-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

Remember Ouija boards? I do. Ouija boards are a portal into the spirit world. Yes, I have had experience with Ouija boards. No, I don't think they are automatically evil. However, I explain Ouija to the young and curious that it's a lot like going into an internet chat room. You have NO idea who is really on the other side communicating with you. You could be inviting serious trouble -- or it could be some playful, harmless spirit. The best advice is to refrain for even going there. Once the door is opened, all sorts of unwanted energy could come pouring through.

I totally understand the fascination with the unseen. I am of that sort and can sense things that most people would never feel. Spirits are like people -- people are spirits with skin and bones. Some are good, some are ok, and some are not good at all. It takes all kinds.

Merry Christmas Yuppie Scum!

2011-11-20T23:23:00.000-08:00

Microvave Popcorn: Toxic Waste

2011-11-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

Foods that rank right up there with Girl Scout cookies as toxic waste? Microwave popcorn. I don't care if the label boasts 100 lite calorie Orville Redenedpecker Orgasmic Supreme. It's still toxic waste. Read the label. This shit is worse chemically than eating a McDonalds BigMac.

You are better off using one tablespoon of canola oil in a large pot to pop REAL popcorn. To season use a bit of parmesean cheese and a couple shakes of hot sauce. Toss to combine. Real food. Real snacks. If the mood strikes you, use a little real butter....

Dear Abby STILL SUCKS!

2011-11-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Abby must be an automated robo-machine at this point. Everything must be on automatic recycle as she still (yawn) tries to disguise letters plugging her "for fee" publications as actual letters from readers. I've bitched about his before. I can't believe people have not caught on.

Actual letter that appeared in today's paper:

Dear Abby,
I can't believe the business letters I get that are addressed to me using my first name. I don't *know* these people! How dare they send me correspondence addressed as Dear FirstName. They go right into the trash! It ruins my day! I'm so insulted! How crass and unprofessional. I don't get outraged by spam, telemarketers, and salespeople who show up unannounced. However, these LETTERS addressed to FirstName have my worked underwear up my crack to the point of discomfort! Have they not read and obeyed your Dear Abby Canned Letter Template! Please educate the world and make it required reading!

Signed,
Planted Letter Hocking Your Publications

Dear Planted Letter,
Last year I tried to disguise my "Dear Abby Canned Letter Template for Sale" pitch from some poor slob who did not know how to communicate via pen and paper as everything is electronic these days. This year I'm really grasping as nobody with a life gives a fuck about how salutations appear, so I had to get creative with my planted letter..... here's how to order.....

Hey Abs, B gr8ful ur stl publshd. Ur colmn SUX.

NHL Cat

2011-11-14T23:11:00.000-08:00

My cat should be recruited as an NHL player. He has the meanest hook shot with his tail. He is also quite talented with his paws. Yes, he is a quad-rimentional (is that even a word?) cat. With the flick of his tail he can sail a bit of dog kibble across the room, bounce off the wall, and have kibble end up near eager, panting pooch thankful for cat's talent. He is also talented at paw passing from counter to floor glasses, jewelry, or any bit of anything valuable where dog can get mouth on and eat and/or chew to bits. Cat and dog laugh together as humans disect dog-doo to recover lost items. Cat is a team player.

If cat doesn't watch it, he will end up in the penalty box a.k.a.sin bin.

MRH

2011-11-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

Here is to YOU, MRH. We have been friends since you brought me my first pack of Kool cigarettes in 9th grade at a football game. Yeah....... we were KOOL!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh good times.....

Has life dealt you a hand you don't like? I don't like it either. Good thing that cards burn, so let's light them on FIRE! I dare you. Oh yeah, singe the ass hairs of fate. I've got plenty of matches and lighter fluid.

Point is that after the ass-hair-singe session is over we have plenty of other moral crusades to go on. We will take on that stupid-ass FB that has some of our classmates pictured at Sam's pub nightly with God-Only-Knows-Who hiking up her skirt for the camera and groping the troll-on-steroids boyfriend with the same fake pose/snarl-smile. Where are her kids? What????? Who?????? Them??????? I think they were all left a bowl of cold cereal and a note that said "Mommy is in luv with her 1 and only gr8. Blu Eyez will smile when angels cum and help u get off 2 skool. C U L8R as I am at spin with a bicycle seat up my ass. Have a gr8 day! God Luvs U! U R blessed. Shitting rainblows (misspelling intenned) and unicorns ur way."

Canadians RULE

2011-11-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

Just for grins I checked my stats page. My stats page reports my bitchy posts that have received the most views. I need to inform you all that my widest audience consists of CANADIANS. I suppose I have more in common with Canadians as geographically and culturally I am closer to them than some Ozark inbred, or some status hungry SoCal asswipe OR whiney New York Jew........... Or..... more probable scenario..... Canadians are now locked in for the winter and are uber bored, so they read my dumb-ass blog.

Once upon a time, no passport was needed to travel into Ontario, Manitoba, or Saskatechwan from Minnesota/Dakota. Once upon a time money was exchanged freely. Yes, I have been to the Peace Gardens in Winnipeg. Then one day, out of nowhere, we SURROUND Canada with psycho bitches like Sarah Palin from Alaska and Michelle Bachmann from Minnesota. Canadians must think than any American with a vagina is a complete nut-so-whack-job. No wonder Canada put up barriers! Do you BLAME them? It's like cloning Hitler! I can't blame Canada for going back into their shell and pretending not to know any of us. Of COURSE Canada thought they were under ATTACK!

My point is that Canada has been living in our shadow for long enough. They have done NOTHING to cause the United States shit -- unlike Mexico. I suppose Canadians can't grow pot and don't have a corrupt government. Swarms of United States citizens are not slipping over the boarder living off the government for free health care and plopping babies along the way (yet).

Warning to Canada: Global warming is going to make you the oasis country in the next 30 years. Do you really want a bunch of United States rejects storming your borders and demanding shit they were too selfish to deal with and now want to invade YOURS? Build your fences now.

Iraq War Vets Find Hope - or Find Permanent Disability: Santa Rosa Press Democrat

2011-11-11T20:23:00.000-08:00

The headline should have read, "Iraq War Vets Find How to Scam Disability."

Yes, I am going to DARE be politically incorrect on Veterans' Day. Today we have on the front page of the Santa Rosa Depressed Rat an emotionally battered ex-Army COOK who served about 8 months.

You have got to be kidding me. I'm sorry, but giving a headline to a whiny Army COOK who served a whopping 8 months is just plain insulting to those who have lost arms, legs, faces, etc.

Can you say milking the system? Post-traumatic stress disorder my ass. She is looking for life-long government income and health benefits. Perhaps the oatmeal she was forced to work with as an Army cook was just too lumpy and it caused undue stress. Perhaps an enemy jumped out from behind the freezer and made her fry hamburgers against her will -- she is a vegetarian, you know. Whaaaaaaaaaaa...

Sum it up. She knew she was going to get kicked out of the Army. She invented some disorder as to not get a dishonorable discharge. She can't hold a job, she never has and never will as she is flakey to the core. She doesn't even live near her family as I'm sure they are sick of her freeloading as well. So, she comes to Santa Rosa where dumb-ass reporters give her headlines and justifies her made up bullshit complete with the sappy photo of her arms crossed, looking solomnly to the right over her shoulder, pouty face, and dramatic lighting.

Yes, Janel Ritz, go shopping on Veterans' Day. God forbid you should do something meaningful for your comrades with real injuries. You are NOT in the same category as the Pearl Harbor survivors. Get a float for the Veterans' Day Parade with your whiny-ass story and watch people throw eggs at you. I'm sure if you Google this and read this, it will add another dollar amount to your disability claim as it's causing you mental anxiety. I'm sure some tax-money-suck support group called "Oatmeal Anguish" will form to help you. Violins playing.....
Another SoCal reject living up here being a total high-maintenance pain in the ass.

Gunts in Rohnert Park

2011-11-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah..... this picture sums up Rohnert Park where "gunts" proliferate. However, Rohnert Park insists they need more crappy chain restaurants! Rohnert Park's motto should be.... "White Trash and Mexicans for World Peace at WalMart -- Meet Me at Isle 12 for more Dollar Dropping Values."

For extra low-class trashiness, let's add a casino. Bus loads of additional Asian, cigarette smoking, gunts from San Francisco will arrive to fill up empty booths at Red Lobster and Olive Garden. Hurry..... Your endless Pasta Bowl and Salad is only good until 2:00 PM.... oink oink......

Oh yeah.... this is what Sonoma County wants to attract? Can we PUH-LEEZE kick out Rohnert Park? I guess Rohnert Park is Sonoma County's embarrassment.... much like our farting, shirtless, crass Uncle Fred at the Thanksgiving table. He's part of the family, but is a total disgrace. Nobody wants to admit being related,.....

Duggars Expecting 20th Child

2011-11-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

You've got to be f***** kidding me. The world is experiencing exploding overpopulation, and these morons are glorified for mass reproduction? There is no way in hell they can give 20 kids the attention to become mentally healthy, functioning adults. Just having a few kids drains parents who are actually treating their kids more than something coming off an assembly production line.

If there was ever an environmental crime, this is it. Please, shut down the baby factory. Her uterus must have a no vacancy sign. Her vagina must be like a flubbery, trap door at this point. How can her husband even enjoy fucking something so used at this point? Her vagina must be more stretched out than an old lady's elastic waist band on polyester pants. eeeeeeeeeek.......

Plop. Out drops another baby while mundanely wiping dishes on a Tuesday night (reminder of Monty Python's Meaning of Life) Kids...... can you pick up that crying bloody blob that just dropped out of my vagina and wipe all of the blood off? Would you also mop the placenta off the floor before doing your homework and taking out the trash? You have another sibling..... I hear your moaning, kid #9. Don't give me that look, kid #12.... I'll deal with you after I deal with Number 1, 2, 3, 7, (deep breath) 13, 8.... yeah.... I'm on top of you all. God says so...... Hurry up.... we all need to circle for our prayer group in 15 minutes....

Kardishian Divorce: Sad Statement of our Society

2011-11-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

Need I say more? Looks like SNL has its bitey satire back. Truth hurts..... and is often funny as hell...

Facebook Elimination

2011-11-08T09:36:00.000-08:00

Being as I have been struggling to delete my Facebook account in its entirety or not, I decided to partially eliminate my account. For starters, you will not find any personal information about me in my profile like where I went to school, marital status, etc. I never posted that crap anyway. Who cares.

I'm also tired of screening posts. To simplify, I just deleted a gaggle of people I really don't want to share any part of my personal life with. No, I won't send you any annoying "I'm cleaning up my facebook friends Do You want to remain friends" shit.

One FB elimination actually had the nerve to email me saying how I hurt her feelings by deleting her. Really? Never once did I get a personal message from her asking how life was going or whatever. I have not seen this person in over a quarter century.

Poof..... she's gone....

Hitting the delete button is very freeing and powerful. If it only worked in person.

Child Abuse

2011-11-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what the exact definition of child abuse is as there are many forms. Kids look to their parents for guidance, stability, and nurturing. All kids hold their parents on a pedestal whether or not they are deserving. Kids inherently trust their parents to protect them and look after their best interests -- even if kids really don't know what their best interests are just yet.

Therein lies the rub.

How many kids have gotten beaten "for their own good." How many kids have been humiliated, name called, etc., by their parents thinking that it will somehow make the kids behave as parents think they should?

True story. I am now housing a kid who is afraid to go home. Report cards (progress reports) came out and the kid is terrified because there is something less than an A. OMG!!! The kid had all A's except for one lousy B+. It's not even final grading yet, just a progress report. As I type this the kid is locked in my bathroom crying hysterically after a tearful conversation with mom on the cell phone. Are the parents physically abusive? No, but the psychological abuse is just as damaging. I can overhear through the phone receiver the put-downs, insults, threats of disowning, etc.

.....but it's "all for their own good"....... yeah, right. This is not the first time this kid has been subject to standards only a demigoddess could live up to. So the kid is human. So maybe the kid isn't perfect. Maybe the kid did not live to YOUR standards. I'm not saying that kids should have carte blanche to run amok. However, all people -- especially developing kids -- need to know you love them unconditionally. Smashing their fragile self esteem and destroying their foundation of stability and trust they look for in their parents will do nothing but make all the therapists' appointment books full in the future.

Be careful what you say to your kids. After all, you are the experienced adult and should know better. Nobody thrives and grows on humiliation and shame.

Lending: Paying Money Back

2011-11-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to switch gears here. Usually, I am the first one to rip on banks getting bailed out with our tax money. People are pissed. Occupy Wall Street happens.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. The American population does not seem able to differentiate "lending" and "giving." There is a difference. When you get a loan, it means you have to pay it back under the terms and conditions set forth in the contract.

Defaults on student loans are at an all time. If we are going to bitch about free handouts, let's bitch about free handouts. Students were more than eager to get money for college, then were shocked and surprised when it was time to pay it back. Same with home mortgages and credit cards. We all know that nobody gives you a chuck of money up front without strings attached. God help us if our population is really that stupid.

Did the banks take advantage? Of course, but our need to 'keep up with the Jonses' had the population playing right into the banks' hands. Now the bitching and moaning starts. Banks are not lending, because people don't PAY IT BACK. In the meantime restaurants are full, Starbucks thrives, shopping malls are full, cell phones proliferate, etc, etc., etc.....

Yes, not all in financial hot water fit into this category. Life events happen. However, there seems to be a disturbing pattern........

Novato, California

2011-11-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

This is where Tiburon and Sausalito wannabes live. See, it's the most northern city in Marin and we all know how much status shit means to these materialistic morons. Too bad they have not realized that Marin is so 70's and 80's and it's now Sonoma County that is the cool place to live. Shhhhhhhhh please don't tell them as we don't want them all living up here, anyway.

They are the soccer moms, SUV driving conformists, bland, unoriginal, status-hungry, phoney, blah, blah, blah, blah.... They are mesmorized by bright, shiny objects. Novato has no soul. Everything is plastic and phoney. Even all of their dining establishments suck (reflection of their bland population). Tell me of one outstanding place to eat in Novato? I guess they do have a couple of Mexican restaurants as I suppose they all need a central place to scope their cheap labor and then bitch about illegals.

I suppose the thing that pisses me off about these people is how they somehow think they are better than everybody else. They will bitch if you car is the wrong color. They will bitch if their sandwich has avacado in the middle and NOT on the bottom. They will bitch if their little Lilly doesn't get the teacher for first grade that will totally set Lilly's course for life. Give me a break, you high-maintenance asswipes.

Of course, there are exceptions... native residents and long-timers shun the more recents and rightly so.

Why am I Honest?

2011-11-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

Here's one for the "why am I an honest Joe" file.....

There's a woman in Sonoma County who has never really worked a day in her life. All of her life she has sucked off her ex-husbands and parents to make herself look good in the community. This woman owned a house on a golf course, but she was underwater with the mortgage. Her Mommy rescued her and put money down on a bigger, better house for her little princess. Princess walked away from the house with an underwater mortgage with no apparent reprocussions whatsoever.

Who is footing the bill for this bullshit while she drives around her her new LandRover? WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tea Party - Occupy Wall Street: Shot Gun Wedding

2011-11-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ok.... so the Tea Party has some psychos at the helm as to what would otherwise be a legit message easily digestible by the masses. The Occupy Wall Street movement has some smelly bums and hoodlums nobody gives much credit to burning garbage cans in the streets like an Oakland Raiders home game.

Viola. A marriage made in shot-gun heaven. Both parties have some "undesirables" the other side is chomping at the bit to use to immediately discredit what the message is. Not so fast.... The resounding message by BOTH movements is that the people are not being represented and the government is out of control.

USE THAT COLLECTIVE FORCE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please dismiss the attention grabbing headlines as to why the "other" party is at fault. It's all crap. Truth be told it's BOTH democrats and republicans as to the state we are in. We need to sift through all of their bullshit. ...and believe me..... it's all bullshit..... and come to a place where common sense and scruples prevails. I know it's a lot to ask in this day and age......and it may take away your attention from the Kardishian divorce and/or the Demi More/Ashton Kutcher marriage crisis..... Oh, I forgot that American Idol might also be on.....

Just One Cool Republican

2011-10-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

...that's all I ask for.... just one...cool republican. I can't say that I'm a democrat, but I'm definitely not a republican, either. I'm political party agnostic. The republicans tried to appeal to the soccer mom masses by propping up psycho bitches like Palin and Bachmann. Did not work. Even the most sheltered, prozac popping, subservient housewives figured out the mental illnesses they both harbored and abandoned ship.

Yawn..... now who are they going to prop up other than some privileged, old, stuffy white dude? Herman Cain? I guess if democrats can put a black dude in the White House, the republicans can, too (think of the irony here). Democrats should feel flattered that their candidates are being copied. Can't say the reversal is true.

I can't entirely dismiss the republican party. Some of what they have to say is worthy. However, I don't like banks and corporations running over and taking advantage of rules that they can make and change (or not change) at any time. Banks and corporations are the ones fueling their campaign funds, so of course, their party politicians are nothing more than paid mouth-pieces.

Personally, I think that both republicans and democrats are nothing more than system scammers. The central government has become what our forefathers fought against. Our tax dollars have become nothing but a giant cookie jar, and it's a free-for-all in Washington as to who gets a fist full of dollars and getting on the front page of the Wall Street Journal for paying $35,000 for a plane ticket. In the meantime our roads crumble, bridges fall into rivers, sewer systems deteriorate, etc. Shame on all of you.

The non-responsiveness of our central government to do what is inherently right rings of Marie Antionette, "Let them eat cake."

Watch out for the guillotine.

Meaningless Facebook Posts

2011-10-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

My finger is getting ever closer to hitting the "delete" button on my Facebook account. I think I'll use my middle finger while I'm at it. I just can't stomach it anymore. I'm not making this stuff up. I actually pulled this off of my account. If you stay on Facebook please, PLEASE do us all a favor and NEVER post crap like:
___________________________________________________

Cheers to you Sunshine. Hope your having a great week!!~

♥ In my eyes, and many others... YOU are one of the Loveliest women on Facebook. Select 15 of the most Beautiful Ladies in your contact list: If you're awarded this distinction more than once, then you will know that you are Exceptionally beautiful!~ Copy and Paste this on the wall of 15 of the most beautiful Ladies you know. ♥

Give your stress wings and let it fly away.

All of you Obamatons who think Bush created the financial mess we are in, need to watch this.

_____________________________________________________

Seriously! Facebook has become so trite. The only purpose it now serves is that it is a data mine for corporations to exploit and sell all your personal information that you gladly and freely post to brag to the world. Your ego is selling you out!

Daddy and Mommy's Little Princess

2011-10-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a true story. Once upon a time in Sonoma County a couple had a little girl. The couple thought that their little girl was God's gift to athletics. They were certain that if they pushed her academically and coached her throughout her youth sporting career that Division I schools would be pounding down their doors to offer Princess a scholarship. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If you want your kid to get a sports scholarship, here are some tips:

1. Do NOT coach your own kid beyond the age of 12-13. Subconscious favoritism always surfaces and creates resentment from the team. Chances are your kid is not "all that" and the resentment is justified;

2. Do NOT allow your kid to be coached by dads or moms beyond age 12-13. Your kid will then be the brunt of subconscious favoritism from dad's kid. Re-read post #1;

3. Dirty little secret: GPA's are really not that important. All colleges want to see is that you're not a complete moron and that you're trying. Don't stress about your kid being placed in AP classes. It's all unneeded stress. You are freaking about nothing.

4. Is your kid a team player? This is a biggie.

5. Never, and I repeat NEVER play 'hard-to-get' with a school representative who shows interest. They all talk. You and your kid will be blacklisted immediately for playing Prima Donna.

Occupy Wall Street: No More Smelly Bums

2011-10-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Wow..... Sorry, main stream corporate media if you have to put down the movement because a bunch of drug addict derelicts decided to crash it. Damn hoodlums. Is that the best you can do? We will direct said homeless to your house to piss and bathe in your pool. You ARE compassionate CHRISTIANS, aren't you????? You're not going to turn them away, are you?????? Now THAT would be hypocrisy. You have sooooooooo much abundance, right? You're willing to share, right???? You don't fall into the "I have mine (at your expense) so go fuck yourself" mold you're blasting, right? You are so much better and more generous than the lousy OWS losers, right? GO AHEAD AND SHOW THE WORLD HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE! .....tick, tock.... tick, tock......tick, tock.... tick, tock.... we are waiting..... nothing. I thought so.

I challenge the Republican party to show the homeless participating in the Occupy Wall Street Movement RIGHT NOW how they have their backs from the nasty, selfish, hypocrite OWS protesters. Open your home, repubicans (misspelling intentional). Share your bed. If you wanted to sway public opinion to your favor from being the uptight, selfish, bastards you are that fueled the movement to begin with, you're totally blowing your opportunity. I have yet to see one republican charitable gesture outreach or acknowledgment for this movement -- regardless of whether or not they agree with it. I have yet to see one bank donate a port-a-potty for the cause (the irony of this thought is not lost on me). Attention Republicans, Wall Street, and Politicians: Please, PLEASE prove the movement wrong by showing spontaneous generosity and/or compassion with no strings attached.

It's getting violent and messy. Good. This is the biggest fear Wall Street and their puppet politicians fear. The continuation of this movement will mean the government will be forced to react.

Hit the Wall

2011-10-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

I have had some good friends of mine just 'hit the wall' lately. They have busted their asses off all of their lives. The current economy is eating them alive. They once held jobs of decent pay and dignity. Now they have all been "downsized" or "outsourced" and they are now forced to take jobs at minimum wage to try to make ends meet. Throw onto the mix the stress of a health scare and it's no wonder people are feeling so desperate. The American middle class is losing hope. Once we lose that I fear we are done as a country. We can't let that happen.

Exactly What's Wrong: Profiting off Cervical Cancer

2011-10-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

As I type this I am in a city in southern California. I am overhearing a conversation between business men in the hotel lobby. They are figuring out ways to market and profit off of cervical cancer in China. One of them just said that it's an untapped market. I can't hear the exact details of their conversation, but I've heard enough. I'm so glad that some poor Chinese woman's diagnosis with cervical cancer can be a source of profit for these pigs. Disgusting.

Wall Street Journal: Get a CLUE

2011-10-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

...and then they wonder why the general masses are pissed. Today on the front page of the Wall Street Journal at the very top we have "trophy home buyers" bragging about their 30,000 square foot homes complete with an indoor movie theatre, an elevator, six pools, and five tennis courts. Also on the front page we have those who have $35,000 to purchase an airline ticket for a newly crafted jet just for the thrill of 'being one of the first to be a passengers on it'. DON'T YOU ALL SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE????????????????????????? DO WE NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU??????????????? IF YOU HAVE $35,000 TO WASTE ON A STUPID PLANE TICKET -- YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY. PERIOD. ..............and then to brag about it as well............... Why did you all squeal and whine when we tried to close the obnoxious loopholes that you were benefiting from based off our sweat? Why did you need us to bail you out if you're "all that" and soooooooo for capitalism and anti-government intervention? You sure had your hand out in a hurry when things started to crumble -- and then tried to dismiss yourselves from any type of reform. . Like I've said before. Wall Street and their likes depend on government handouts more than a welfare mom with 12 kids. Welfare moms are cheaper.

Sorry, Wall Street Execs, but nobody has sympathy for you asswipes if you can't afford your kids' $30,000 per year private school tuition and you have to settle for last year's Porche model. whaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......I know what I would do..... bomb that virgin flight plane full of people who can flippantly afford $35,000 for a ticket to Tokoyo. They deserve to die. Just where are the mid-east terrorists when we need them? I see an alliance forming. Hey, maybe the mid-east terrorists who bombed the World Trade Center are onto something..... ya think????? Is Wall Street next? Maybe....... can't wait to see which Wall Street Exec raking in obnoxious bonuses at our expense hits the "up" button on the elevator to his corner office with a view......KA-BLOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Occupy Wall Street: The Movement Grows

2011-10-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Who is occupying Wall Street? What is their message? Why is not an ordained leader coming to the forefront with a solid message? I'll tell you why..... BECAUSE THE MOVEMENT IS YOUR CONSCIENCE!!!! Some how, remember when you were a little kid and you beat up another little kid and stole his lunch money? Somewhere, deep down in your GUT, you knew it was wrong and you felt GUILTY. Remember when you had the ice cream cone and waved it in front of the face of the kid who did not have any? You knew on some level it wasn't right, but nobody was there to beat you over the head and tell you otherwise. Nobody knew but YOU that what you did was wrong. That's who we are. We are that sneaky little feeling that can't be surpressed any longer..... Now skeptics are demanding an individual human form to the movement (politician form, mind you) to materialize out of nowhere and validate what you already know? It's like demanding God to appear in human form and run for office. It ain't gonna happen......

Of course nobody for the Occupy Wall Street Movement wants to come to the forefront and claim the spotlight. That would dilute the message of the masses. The movement is not about crowning an individual king. The movement is not about being an individual 'attention whore' to use it for political gain (cough, cough, democrats -- fuck you). It's about the politicians already in place DOING THE RIGHT THING. The movement is not about any individual or any particular agenda or party line. It's about the politicians KNOWING they did NOT represent the common good as they PROMISED and selling us all out to their greedy masters for their own gain. Get a fucking grip, media, would you? Can't anybody in this day and age grasp the concept of a movement wanting to do something for the common good without grandstanding and giving accolades to specific individuals? No donations needed. No PAC has been formed. Imagine that....fuckers.....

Occupy Wall Street: Jon Stewart

2011-10-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

I'll admit it. I have the major hots for Jon Stewart. He's funny, cute and has a way with summing up politics that I could only dream.

Unions in America

2011-10-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm a little pissed off about the negative spin unions are getting. Somehow, I don't think that people earning a decent wage, having health insurance, and a decent pension upon retirement are evil. I also don't think that treating employees with fair, consistent, humane standards are inherently evil, either. Why is their outrage against THAT?

Yes, union officials shot themselves in the foot years back when they became the greedy, power hungry, dick-heads they rallied against. Union employees shot themselves in the foot when they became a lot of spoiled, complacent whiners. They are partly to blame for their own demise.

At the local government level, the greediest players securing obnoxious pensions for themselves were NOT part of the union or part of a union contract, but the back lash is dressed up in that. The ones with the highest pensions helped themselves. The Press Democrat just can't come out and make that distinction. Rod Dole et al are laughing all the way to the bank.

On the private employer side, I have seen employers file bankruptcy leaving behind unpaid wages and such. The employers CRIED and swore under oath they had no money anywhere to pay their debts. I find out later that as they stiffed their employees, they were taking a cruise around the world. Fuckers.

Get Pissed, America: Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

Yes.... finally.... Americans are finally starting to participate in their government. It may be too little too late, but we'll see. Showing anger at Wall Street greed is a good start by recent demonstrations. Show anger at your politicians, too. Show them when they come to your door glowing with their "I'm such a great person" routine. Really? Ask local politicians the following questions:
1. Why do you want to hold public office (don't buy the canned, pre-scripted Miss America answers put together by their political consultants);
2. What is your business and/or occupation (there is usually some invisible push from an industry/group to put a crony in office so they can get a project/development/issues approved or some other future political payback);
3. WOULD YOU HAVE THE DECENCY AND ETHICS TO RECUSE YOURSELF FROM VOTING OR FORMING POLICY WHERE YOU HAD A DIRECT INTEREST?

This is the big one, folks. This is where our government has run amok. The politicians have been trying to hide and cover for themselves. They have been helping themselves to the cookie jar when they think we are not paying attention, or not having enough tenacity to figure out their games. Remember, it's what the politicians do when they think we are not looking (or not get caught) is what truly defines them.

UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE HAVE LOTS OF TIME TO DIG, DIG, DIG AND UNCOVER BULLSHIT. Make use of that time. I've said it before. An educated, involved public is the government's worst fear. Keep it up, America. Let Wall Street and Capitol Hill know we are onto them. Let city hall know we are onto them. Let Sonoma County know we are onto them. Let California know we are onto them. We have lots of work ahead of us. I don't give a shit what your political beliefs are, just be an ethical participant in the process.

Worrisome for the Middle Class

2011-10-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

Attention Middle Class America: They are out to eliminate you. I'm not sure what your options are, but be sure that that the politicians are out to royally fuck you over. You are too wealthy to qualify for government aid, but too poor to make ends meet. Oh, and you're a legal citizen -- another strike against you.

Why are we working so hard? We have some equity in our home. We are trying to save for retirement and our kids future. We are paying through the nose for health insurance AND car insurance (in which the illegals do not -- and they get pardoned for it). When the game is over we middle class people don't have anything to give to our kids and we die penniless despite trying to be law abiding, conscientious citizens all of our lives.

CHANGE YOUR NAME TO LOPEZ, HAVE 10 KIDS, ENTER ILLEGALLY AND GET EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU

CHANGE YOUR NAME TO KENNEDY, NOT SURE WHY YOU'RE RICH, DADDY SET IT UP FOR YOU. TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SLAVE SHIT. SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS.

We are fucked, middle America...... my advice is to not give a crap about anything and let the banks forclose on all of us. They want to elimiate us, anyway. It does not pay to go to work and try. Lose your job, lose your savings, lose your house. Go on government handouts. Everybody else is.

Even MORE Facebook Annoyances that Piss Me Off

2011-10-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

My finger is hovering over the "delete my account" option as I type this. Yes, my finger is hovering and shaking. Should I do it? Should I delete my facebook account? The mixed emotions swirl around in my head. I have to admit, I have had damn good laughs in reading some posts. Most of the time I need a barf bowl handy as the sap is just too thick to choke down. More shit that pisses me off about Facebook:
1. Dump your bumper sticker, feel-good philosphical posts like "On This Day God wants You to Know" God will most certainly not proliferate His word via a crappy, cheesy medium like Facebook --and who crowned YOU as the wise, ordained messenger, anyway? I'd rather tune into 'Deep Thoughts - by Jack Handy;

2. Don't tell me how darling, special and how much I am loved -- everybody says that to each other on Facebook. Means nothing;

3. If I wanted to read the comics, I would have read the comics. Don't repost cute-sy comics (unless they are your original). Constant, unsolicited jokes were the death of email. The same fate awaits Facebook;

4. Get off your political soap box. Everybody posts a political jab now and then, but the hard core political fanatics give me a head ache. It's like being harassed 24/7 by Jehovah Witnesses.

5. I don't give a fuck what you had for dinner. No need to post pics of your culinary creations.

6. Stop that annoying "I'm cleaning up my Facebook friends. Click 'yes' or 'no' if you want to remain my friend. So, now you have to send a mass, unpersonalized message asking if I want to remain your friend or not. Wow... makes people feel like they are nothing more than memory dust balls that have collected under the bed and we need to be 'cleaned up'. We've been there for a while and not causing disruption, but now we need to be eliminated. Go ahead FUCK YOU and DELETE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul McCareney Wedding

2011-10-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

Yea!!!!!!! Paul FINALLY got over his mistake of marrying that money-hungry-psycho-bitch Heather Mills. I blogged over three years ago that he could do better. Of course, Sir Paul read my blog and immediately heeded my advice;)

I truly, truly hope and wish the best for Paul and his new bride. She does not appear on the surface to be a tacky attention whore like Heather.

Paul does not typically date/marry brunettes. If you look at photos of Paul's mom, Nancy resembles her. Coincidence? It's OK, Paul, to want to marry somebody like mom. There usually is nobody better. WISHING YOU HAPPINESS!!!!

Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah, they are the true terrorists. Wall Street and greedy bankers have done more collective damage than 1,000 attacks on the World Trade Center. I'm not trying to dismiss the unfortunates who lost their lives by any means... the point is that America has been hurt by the cold, corporate souls calling the shots in our materialistic society and our whore politicians pandering to them. The enemy is us. As long as we ass-kiss for money we are all doomed to being nothing but slaves.

Food Network is a Health Hazard: Where are the Bored Moms on Prozac?

2011-10-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

Just where are the 'bored moms on prozac' when you really need them? They have already blasted Sponge Bob and accused the cartoon of brain death of 12 year olds. They have organized a total political movement against video games suggesting they cause violence. They are also scruitinizing every bit of educational curriculum for fear they may learn that homosexuality and biracial relationships exist despite their own fear (or fantasy) of them. They also make time to protest against kids learning proper handling of guns.

Truth is, none of the above will effect their dear little Lily or Chase like diabetes, obesity, and other nutrition related health problems that the Food Network glorifies. Where is the outrage against THAT? Just because some food has a fancy European ingredient and is doused in an oil we can't pronounce by no means makes it any healthier for us.

The other thing that the Food Network gets away with is hair in food preparation areas. It's gross to see food being prepared by people with their hair dangling everywhere. I suppose their "sexy" food stars just would not look the same sporting a hair net and an apron.

If ever there was room for real criticism, this is it. Let's see if the Food Network gets away with it because it's all dressed up. Hey, I see through all the bullshit..... does anybody else?

Reach Out and Touch Someone

2011-10-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

Remember the old days when telephones had cords and there was excitement when it rang at home as it was a friend or relative you actually WANTED to speak with? There were certain phone ettiqette rules everybody obeyed like never calling during dinner hour, or after 8:00 PM. Do you also remember when businesses had telephone receptionists who wrote down messages and hand delivered to recipients? Voicemail was unheard of.

Fast forward 30-40 years. Home phone numbers have all but vanished as everybody has their own personal cell phone. The only people who call the house phone are solicitors, pollsters, robocallers and other assorted annoying people from school, church, or whatever you really don't want to speak with -- always during dinner hour, I might add -- wanting you to volunteer or donate money for something.
Do Not Call needs some enforcement.

I'm not sure I like this age of people expecting others to always and instantly be available 24/7. We have email, texting, Facebook, cell phones, etc., that I don't really believe are connecting humanity. Being always available is exhausting. In the long run all this hyper, superficial communication detracts from meaningful, reflective interaction, like actually going outside and talking with your neighbor instead of constantly blasting meaningless Facebook status updates to the entire free world. Nothing is separated anymore. Sometimes it's good to disconnect and recharge the batteries or allow time for uninteruppted vacations / family time.

Don't take it personally if I don't return your call or email instantly. Heaven forbid if I have a heart-to-heart talk with one of my kids and don't want to lose the momentum of getting out of them their issues and problems. Heaven forbid if I actually go on vacation for work and can't deal with your issue because you needed something yesterday. Your lack of planning does not create my emergency.

Petaluma Corn Maze AND 101 Construction! plus... rain

2011-10-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, fellow commuters, it's THAT wonderful time of year again. In addition to the retarded drivers who have never seen a corn stalk nor a pumpkin patch before stopping in the middle of the freeway to stare causing a 17 car pile-up behind them, we have two additional challenges. Construction on 101 already causes mass confusion as large, brightly colored neon orange signs with LARGE BLACK PRINT USING SMALL WORDS warning of changed conditions that go completely unnoticed by oblivious drivers. This year we have the additional challenge of early rain, which is like ingesting a pill that induces instant moron-type driving behavior . Can Sonoma County handle this? I doubt it.

Why Old People are Crabby

2011-09-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

If you want to hear raw truth, visit an old folks home and chat with somebody who still has their wits. I like old people. They just don't care what you think of them. They will fart and belch and not even wince or say, "excuse me." God bless them.

They are not trying to impress anybody. They have been around long enough and figured out that it matters not what bright, shiny objects we accumulate in this lifetime. They also call things as they see them, and they don't care if it's politically correct or not.

They have seen it all. They have lived through every political fad imaginable. They have had families and careers. They also thought at one point that things would remain the same forever and they would never grow old. Death is near, and there is something freeing in all of that.

They say what they want. Nothing is sugar coated. More often than not, what they have to say we all should heed. We are not listening.

Noreen Evans: Mr. Ed

2011-09-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

Can you spot the difference? Or maybe the photos should be taken from the rear? Still, I don't think it would help the populace out much. An ass is an ass.... a rose by any other name..... is still.... Mr. Ed...whatever. Pander to illegal Mexicans. Tell us how you are for equality. Yawn. You and that Michael Allen slick-dick-head have a lot in common. Run for office in Mexico. I'll buy your departure ticket PRIMO CLASS!

Questions for Military Intelligence

2011-09-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I might hit a nerve but I have to ask the following questions:
1. With the technology available and used for observing "threat" countries to the United States via advanced imagary and such, why not use available technology to secure our borders with Mexico? I would dare say Canada, but I think the Canadians are developing their own strategy of keeping us out. I don't blame them.

2. Why would we even NEED a mile-high fence with the Mexican border when such advanced technology in place where we can see a gnat's ass from 10,000 feet?

3. Why do we even need border agents? Technology exists to monitor and police bodies via infra red trying to illegally cross borders.

4. Who is profiting from all of this loop-hole nonsense? Somebody's uncle, I'm sure....

5. What would Republicans do if their cheap labor would be cut off? They all bitch about illegal immigration, but they are the first ones hiring Jose to paint their house, pick their grapes, etc., and hire Juanita to baby sit their kids while slipping them cash under the table. STFU and put your money where your mouth is, or should I say your ass as that seems to be the bigger of the two. I'm not letting Democrats off the hook, either. You all look for the same cash-under-the-table deals your Republican nemesis is looking for. You are even more evil of the two as you tout "fair wage" bullshit at your pulpit. When you all hire a union landscaper, I will know you mean real shit..... BTW. I'm not holding my breath.

6. American's should just admit that we need a slave class in order to be an economical force. The Romans had it. The Eqyptians had it. Hell, it's even mentioned in the Bible. American's had it with the industrial north using Irish child labor in factories, and the cotton producing south had it with blacks prior to the 1860's. THAT'S AMERICA'S DIRTY LITTLE SECRET!!!!!!

Sonoma County Airport Part II

2011-09-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

I *love* the Sonoma County Airport. The people are friendly (even if they are confiscating my wine opener -- security is just doing their job) and it's super convenient. Damn the terrorists going from Santa Rosa to Las Vegas!!!! The few bad apples spoiled the fun for all of us. I SWEAR no matter how hard I try, airport security always finds something out of my purse to confiscate whether it be my hand sanitizer, wine opener, or tampons (tampons could be a concealed mini-missle, you know).

Anyway, back to flying out of Sonoma County. It never fails. When flying out of Sonoma County you ALWAYS bump into somebody you know. That could be either a positive or a negative. Expanding the airport will lessen the odds;) ...and that's a GOOD thing. E X P A N D T H E A I R P O R T and watch our economy heal. All of that vacant office space on Airport Blvd. might actually get leased out, too. Hey, even the people bitching about the expansion will probably get a job at the airport or in a neighboring office.

Keep Digging... it only gets worse

2011-09-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well, kudos to the Press Democrat for shedding some light on the self-serving politicians securing obnoxious pensions and benefits for themselves. As I blogged over and over again -- the goal of all politicians is to climb the ladder of this insane system, surround themselves with fuzzy department math and accounting methods that make sense to none to keep us all from trying to figure it all out. All politicians need to do is to make you believe they are serving you. Bullshit. Listening to you is a minor inconvenience they must endure to reach that $200,000+ per year pension. Then they have the audacity to tell us that the county is broke while they slash library hours and rank-and-file hours. Remember all of this when they want to raise taxes and cut services.

If we keep digging we will discover the credit cards that pay for housing mistresses and dinners. At the very least, some of them will want to reimburse for the personal expenses and use the company card to launder money so the wife does not find out. Most of them don't even bother. Accounting heads look the other direction. Also think about that when they toss election literature on your doorstep featuring themselves with their kids, dog, spouse and oak tree in the background touting family values. Gag me.

Will the public finally get pissed? I sure hope so. I don't begrudge anybody a decent retirement. We all should have one. This is just sheer greed and power not being used for the common good.

High School Party

2011-09-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

Things have come full-circle. Back when humans walked with dinosaurs, I hosted a party for my high school buddies pretty much every weekend. Now the event has been passed down to my kids. There are startling differences between then and now. For starters:
1. Parents are actually home;
2. No booze;
3. No cigarettes;
4. No pot;
5. No sex or make-out sessions in the spare bedroom;
6. Party ends between 11 and midnight;
7. Cops never show up;
8. Yard games such as volleyball, tossing frisbees around, catch, etc., have replaced drinking games.

What's WRONG with these kids?!!! Nothing, I guess. They are so tame in comparison to the crap I used to pull. It's either that or they're better at hiding it all. Well, I did lock the wine cabinet just in case. Despite the lack of "excitement" over here, kids come here in droves -- and they stay.

Overpaid Pubic Pensions

2011-09-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

I told you so. The real California budget crimes are not happening by the rank and file DMV clerks. It's the upper echelons of our political elite raping us. They don't care, either. Any politician's goal is to climb the ladder to secure obscene pensions when they retire. Finally. Sonoma County pensions were revealed. I'm sure it was like pulling teeth to obtain information that should be disclosed to the public. They don't WANT you to know how obscene their pensions are. People would be PISSED (and rightfully so). This is just the tip of the iceberg, people. Keep digging and you will be even more and more disgusted. We have not even touched on Sonoma County retiree health benefits and other perks they get from OUR hard-earned tax dollars. If this is going on at the county level, imagine what's happening at the state level.

While our so-called county representatives cash their bloated pension checks, one in eight in the county live in poverty. Think about that Rod Dole, Bill Cogbill and Michael Chrystal when you tee off at Mayacama. Oh, and BTW.... none of the above listed were under a union contract.

GOP Debate

2011-09-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

Attention Republicans: You are a bunch of white dorks. I bet you drive Dodge MiniVans with the WWJD sticker on the back. You are nerdy to the extreme -- whiter than sour cream. I bet you won't even crack an egg for fear of abortion retaliation fro GOD. You all should have fired your public image consultants moons ago. Nobody should send you guys out looking like you just scored a cheap toupee from the Salvation Army. And.... you should remove stick from ass before appearing on camera. You all look like you have a major shit on deck.

And come on... NOBODY wears suits and ties anymore -- especially if you're trying to appeal to the masses who are one paycheck away from financial ruin. You all might as well wear white powdered wigs like they did 225 years ago as that's how out of touch you all are. You look like uppity disconnects with NO clue what's happening in the real world. It takes more than a bad toupee, over priced suits, and shiney shoes and to make us want to vote for you. Oh, and stating that God endorses you goes doesn't help matters, either. I would like to know exactly how God casts His votes. I'm sure they figured out a way to count God's votes in Florida. Whatever.

Religion is Like a Penis

2011-09-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

(click on above photo to enlarge -- no pun intented)

Minnesota People I love

2011-09-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

No, i don't spew general hatred at the world. However, most of you dumb bastards deserve my general crankiness -- that's why I bitch about you all. Wow... every day I sound more and more like my grouchy, German grandfather from Minnesota. He made Grumpy Old Men look like pussycats. He would have accused them as being gay lovers. Whatever.

Even somebody like myself has some true friends. Each and every one of them hold a special place in my heart.

JLB: I've known you since we were three. We are still best friends. Always will be. I think you should have been a doctor -- you're smart enough. AND.... you are funny as hell. Just don't try to steal the tapper from the keg. You always could speak your mind. I admire that.

MRH: We will occupy the same cell in hell. As long as there is internet access in hell, and the daily Facebook gag posts from G to S continue we will have something to laugh about. The blow-up doll posts also needs daily laugh fests as well. You are the master of detecting gay cover ups.

SSP: Heart of gold. So selfless. You always think about others before yourself. You are such an emotional rock for flighty psychos like myself. You love unconditionally. Plus, you are FUN to drive around and dump ash trays into the street, turn around, drive by, and laugh some more. BTW, I still have a scar on my wrist from when you thought my arm was an ashtray and you tried to burn out a cigarette on it. OUCH!!!!!!

SYB: Bringing women's spirituality to life and recognizing it as the force it SHOULD be in society. And you do so with laughter and positive energy. CIRCLE TIME! We are all in. Deep belly breath.

TYD: I have been jealous of you since we were eight. Thank god you're not an obnoxious snot. You were always the smart, pretty girl in class BETCH!!!!!! Fun times doing choreography in my basement. We put together some wild, creative stuff.:)

PMF: Ok... for somebody as small, petite, and quiet as you -- you always got me into TROUBLE! Keep throwing sandwiches and hot dogs at the Virgin Mary's feet! Nuns and the religious like hated kids like us. You are a rebel in your own way. I love ya!

Lemme Borrow that Top, BETCH

2011-09-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

What are you saving it for..... you're not even wearing it! You ain't gonna wear it.... lemme borrow the top!

Give Way to Bicyclists

2011-09-21T21:35:00.000-07:00

Just when we thought we've had about all we can handle with the government issuing laws for common sense and general manners, along comes some other hair-brained politician trying to make a name for him/herself. Let's see...... I know....... LET'S PASS A LAW AGAINST CARS GETTING TOO CLOSE TO BICYCLISTS!!!!

Personally, I always give bikes courtesy and plenty of room. God bless them for getting their exercise and not polluting the environment. It's something I personally admire and strive for. We all should take a page out of their book.

Ok... so..... tell me.... just exactly *how* is this new law granting passing room to bikes going to be enforced? You think the sheriff, police, and highway patrol are going to be chomping at the bit to help out when you're trying to reduce their salary and benefits? Do you think that Michael Allen will abandon DMV audits (checkpoints) to volunteer to hand out citations for bike buzzing offenders? Somehow I think not.

I know... I have a BETTER idea. People on cell phones are a DANGER and PUBLIC nuisance. Let's pass a LAW against talking on your cell while driving.

We all know how that works out in reality.......DERP!

Why Old People Forget Stuff

2011-09-21T21:14:00.000-07:00

I think I figured out why old people forget stuff. BECAUSE IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!! Just think of how much mental energy it takes to create our daily 'to do' lists. Here is the typical to do list:
1. Help Johnny with homework;
2. Pay the bills;
3. Do the laundry;
4. Feed the cat;
5. Volunteer for the crab feed;
6. Mow the lawn;
7. Clean the garage;
8. Sell cookies for the fundraiser;
9. Fill out endless forms for school.
In the grand scheme of things, none of this means SHIT. Old people have reached that place of mental peace, and have the courage to purge all of this busywork bullshit from their consciousness without the guilt of the judgmental 'bored moms on prozac do-gooders committee' breathing down their necks. Bored Mom's opinion doesn't mean anything -- nor all of their stupid, trumped up causes that do nothing more than to get their own name printed in the school newspaper with the ultimate goal of adding it to their personal resume for later use. Yeah.... you're acting all globally like you really care and shit.... whoooopeeeee.

Live your life as you see fit. Raise your kids as you see fit. You don't have to do anything "they" say you have to do. Believe me. Their lives are just as screwed up if not more than yours -- and THEY are preaching to YOU how to live? Please. Just like old people, the 'bored prozac mom do gooders' won't remember who you are in 5 years anyway. Again.... it does not really matter.

Stop Reproducing -- Wear a RUBBER

2011-09-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

Please limit reproduction.

We are not in a contest with rabbits -- no matter WHAT the church tells you, Senor Lopez. And yes, you will still be a man if you only father 4 kids instead of the staple 8.

Please help us, O-rubber-wan-Kanobi. You are our only hope.

Driver Checkpoints

2011-09-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

I've about had it with our politicians pandering to the Mexicans. If they love Mexicans and their voting base so much PLEASE do us all a favor and just move to Mexico. But WAIT.... it's a third world SHIT HOLE and our politicians DO NOT want to move there. No DUH. So WHY are they encouraging turning our country into an extension of a shit hole? Bring standards up, don't bring standards down.

Take traffic checkpoints as an example. The only people who would be opposed would be: drunk drivers, drivers without a valid license, drivers without insurance, etc. If you are legit, you don't mind the minor inconvenience. It's all about public safety.

Now some little kid has been killed in a cross walk by an illegal without a license. To make matters worse, this was not his first offense. Just how in the world do the pro-illegal whiners defend THAT? I don't care if you're legal, illegal, or just vaporized here from outer space. If you don't have a valid license, you don't belong on the road. Period. What's so complicated about that? What's wrong with checking to make sure people really are obeying the law? Nobody gripes about IRS audits (other than the cheats). It just ensures that people are paying their fair share of taxes. Think of this as an DMV audit. Same principal. It just tries to enforce laws in place. DMV audits are even more important because nobody ever died from a false IRS form, but thousands of traffic deaths can be directly related to unlicensed, uninsured motorists. For the Mexicans and the politicians whining about it -- PLEASE cross the border and don't come back. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. If you really want to impress us move to Mexico and turn it into a SuperPower.

Silence. I thought so.

Obesity Channel - oops I meant Food Network

2011-09-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

Oh... I meant to say the Food Network. With obesity on the rise and everybody suing McDonald's and whatnot, how in the world is the Food Network immune? This is porn for the obese -- and a gateway channel/drug for the soon to be obese. This is worse than marijuana, people. This is WAY worse than SpongeBob dragging down stupid ass test scores that in reality don't relate to jack shit. Where's *my* research money?

We outlawed commercials for cigarettes many, many moons ago because of the detrimental influence on the American populace, but food gorging is somehow OK with diabetes and other fat induced diseases leading the charts on American deaths. What have you got to say about THAT, Man vs. Food? Oh, I guess SpongeBob and SquidWord are solely to blame for our fat, lazy decline? At least SpongeBob is not directly related to heart attacks.

Just tune into the Food Network. Within minutes you will see the over-rated, over-weight, super-ego Guy Fieri buzzing around in a sports car looking for the greasiest spoon in America with the largest portions. Wait an hour and you will see Paula Deen smothering everything in butter/gravy and laughing diabolically while her fans have a triple bypass.

Oh, yeah..... we're having fun. I just can't see how everything else is super criticized while the exceedingly unhealthy food/fat gorging shows are glorified. Why? Is it because it does not involve drugs nor sex? Heart disease is the number one killer of Americans (other obesity issues are closely follow) but the Food Network knows no constraints. What gives?

Scared Little Boys

2011-09-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm just beginning to understand how fragile the male ego really is. A story that really hit me was one my dad told me about a peacock that lived in the barn when he was growing up. The proud peacock got his tale yanked out when a cow stepped on it. The poor peacock went in a corner of the barn and would not come out and starved himself to death -- he was that distressed about losing his feathers.

That same sensitivity can be translated to human males. They are more sensitive than females in a lot of ways. Society does not allow them to show it, so it gets masked in all sorts of unhealthy behavior. I know of many males who on the surface put on a show of how manly, strong, and self assured they are. Just under the surface they are scared little boys longing for approval and attention. They are terrified.

I used to think that men were all pretty much selfish jerks, but now I'm begining to think that the more obnoxious the man the more insecure he really is.

Can You Count to 10? How about 15?

2011-09-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Attention WalMart Shoppers: The express lane is limited to 15 items. In case you can't count, we've posted this handy, dandy (no pun intended) guide for counting on da fingers. I suppose this same philosophy could be implemented at Safeway, Lucky, or wherever idiots try to jam their cart loads of crap (waaaaaaaaay over the 15 item limit) using the express lane. The problem is that people THAT stupid have no shame. They will use the express lane regardless of how many items they may have. They are completely oblivious as to how stupid they really are. Go get that voting base, Michelle Bachmann.....

French Fur Trappers

2011-09-12T22:28:00.000-07:00

Straight from the heart of old French fur trapping territory -- and their descendants. Love ya, my freaky French-American friends!

Homeless Teens

2011-09-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

Even when I was growing up our house was the one everybody wanted to hang out at. I had parties almost every weekend and hosted pretty much the entire high school. Ahhhhhhhh good times.

Now my kids are coming of age. When my oldest got to high school I was shocked at how many teens really had no place to go, so they just hung out at our house. It was as if they were abandoned. A 'baby sitter' was no longer required so the parents let the kids fend for themselves. I heard stories about how mom/dad got a divorce, and now mom/dad has a new boy/girl friend and spends all their time with their new love. I also heard about parents who could not find their way home from the bar or casino. Some parents were so completely wrapped up in their work the kids felt guilty for even being born.

At first I thought perhaps it was just a fluke with the oldest's friends being alone so much. That's not the case. My younger kid also has a gaggle of abandoned friends who pretty much live here. It's more prevalent than we imagine.

There is nothing special about my house. It's a basic house. However, this is where all the kids tend to congregate. I get wide-eyed, gracious thanks when I present the kids with food (I love to cook). I have teens sleeping in every spare bed, on the couch, and some on the floor almost nightly. They don't want to go home. Many of them call me 'mom.'

If I am saving one teen from being alone and feeling neglected I feel like I'm doing something positive for the world. God only knows what is really happening at their house. I could be saving a kid from some sort of abuse. I'm here if the kids want to talk, but I don't ask questions.....

Yelp, Trip Advisor, Hotels.com, etc...

2011-09-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

The latest thing now is to jump on the computer and read reviews from Yelp and other assorted online sources for reviews for hotels, restaurants, etc. Take it all with a grain of salt. There are some genuine reviews out there, but a lot are made up by the competition trying to turn business their direction, or somebody who is a chronic complainer OR somebody pumping the business up with false accolades. There is even a company called 'reputation defender' that claims to combat bad online reviews for your business for a fee. It's like extortion.

Despite what the online review hosts claim, there is NO WAY they can police against reviews that are false. I guess what I'm saying is that these services are not the gospel truth -- just like so much of what is on the internet. Anybody can post anything. Browser beware.

We Want Jobs NOW!!!!!!!

2011-09-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Of course we want jobs. However, what is it that American's acually do? We don't make anything here anymore. Manufacturing has been moved overseas. All we have is retail and restaurants. Wow. If you're *really* good you might make $12 an hour as a manager at Staples -- without benefits I might add. Other jobs have been silently shifted to illegal workers. Why? Because EVERYBODY wants their stuff for cheap. God help us if employers actually had to pay payroll taxes, workers' compensation and adhere to minimum wage laws. Slipping cash under the table exploiting the fresh batch of newly arrived illigals is just so much easier -- plus you get double the manpower for the money. Honest, ethical employers don't stand a chance. They will be run out of business undercut by sleazy cheats faster than a blodied mamal devoured by pirahhanas. The public turns a blind eye because they got their product or service for $50.00 less. Think of that next time you get your annoying "save an additional 15%" daily coupon from Kohls for their shit made in China.

I'm getting off track. WE WANT JOBS NOW the public chants, and they try to pin the politicians. What are the politicians supposed to do? Pull jobs out of their asses? Wave a magic wand? The public has more power than crying to politicians. Don't give politicans the power. I know it's a novel idea in America, but how about everybody looking at the guy in the mirror to make things happen?

9-11 Overkill

2011-09-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, the 10th anniversary of 9-11 is looming. Every media outlet is chomping at the bit to rehash every second of the burning, collapsing buildings complete with the hopeless bastards jumping out of windows for network ratings. Yes, 9-11 was shitty. Yes, it sucked. Do we need to relive it? Not in the detail we are capable of. I can already see it.... hours upon hours of "where were YOU when you heard of the news of the World Trade Center being attacked?"

(sappy violin music plays to snapshots of victims and their families - slo mo clips of buildings collapsing - dusty faces of pedistrians complete with battered, dusty American flags in the background)

Enough. Get pissed, America. Don't sit around whimping and whining like the 'feel-sorry-for-me' epidemic that has this country paralyzed and looking for somebody to blame/sue/get a fat $ settlement. Shit happens. Daily. We are not immune.

Master Photographer - Peter Lik

2011-09-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am boring.... I never promised anybody entertainment with this blog. Anyhoo, boring people like me watch the weather channel. The weather channel keeps on promoting this Crocodile Dundee character with a camera crossing the terrain of hell and high water with aligators snapping at his ass to get the "perfect shot."

Smartasses like myself get to thinking.......I wonder if Peter Lik has a son named Richard?

Shoes

2011-09-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Shoes..... Shoes..... Shoes.... OMG! Shoes.... Come on, Minnesota BFF's... chime in!
xxoo

Sonoma County Airport

2011-09-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

I love flying out of our Santa Rosa airport. It sure beats fighting traffic for two hours to get to Oakland or San Francisco, parking the car, lugging baggage, waiting in long lines, walking three miles to get to your gate, etc. At this point I know the Santa Rosa airport security on a first name basis as I fly out so frequently.

I've heard rumblings that they want to expand the airport. YEAH!!!! Somebody is finally getting it. Santa Rosa is too large of a city and economic force NOT to have a viable airport. I'm not one to pave over every patch of grass in the name of business, but this idea just makes sense. I'm sure the only ones objecting are the people who live near the airport. Whaaaaaaaa..... here's your pacifier and diaper. I don't get it. They buy a house near an airport and then bitch about planes. DUH!!!! It's like buying a house near train tracks and then bitching about trains. STFU and GTFO. Just *where* is that SWAT team showing kids how to handle guns when you need them?

Text Message Breakup

2011-08-31T00:21:00.000-07:00

I think we all can relate.....rock on, Kelly.... you can't TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP!

People of Facebook

2011-08-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

I am going to start a blog featuring the "people of facebook." Yes, it's a rip-off of the wildly popular 'people of walmart' website that has everybody projectile vomiting, but looking for more. Perhaps a "people of facebook" website already exists. I should search the internet and find out.

My 'people of facebook' blog will feature guest entries from all my REAL friends venting their favourite posts from so-called "friends" bragging about their latest, overstated whatever.

I already know Meesh will be my first guest entry. I can see it now..... a picture of an aging barbie S.S. sprawled over a pool table with her troll-on-steroids-richard-simmons-clone boyfriend penning sappy 3rd grade love notes on her wall daily doting his undying love for her. I shit you not, one recent "love" post on the wall proclaimed how their "love was like chili and onions . Chili giving spice to their passion for each other, and onions making their eyes wet with emotion when they saw each other."

How old are we? Almost 50?

Scour your facebook gag posts. There will soon be a forum where they will be posted as the total attention-whore, jackasses they really are. Revenge will be YOURS.

Robo Responses

2011-08-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

I'm learning..... whenever you pick on a corporation be wary of the team of robonauts trying to make your bitchy blog/complaint/whatever seem unimportant. Corporations pay big bucks scouring the internet looking for negative remarks and combating them. If you notice, most of my negative 'bitch' comments ONLY are attached to a corporate blog name/subject. Nobody is following and blasting me because I'm just an angry bitch (which I am). I only get scathing comments on corporate jabs. Just watch..... I will tag STAPLES, HOOTERS..... watch the paid, robocoments follow.... go ahead... try to diss me..... I can always DELETE you..... laugh fest is on me. Insert your assness here_______________________(your coward comment always anonymous, of course)

Shut the Hell Up!!!

2011-08-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

A picture is worth a thousand words. I saw this bumper sticker with a picture of Sarah Palin with the words 'shut the hell up' over her mouth. It was on the back of a car today and laughed so hard I nearly fell over. I want one.... However, is she did shut up, what would everybody make fun of????

Marin County

2011-08-22T23:56:00.000-07:00

Just how many people who live in Marin County are actually FROM Marin County. I would say that nowadays less than 15%. Most are relocated New York Jews or other loud mouth, obnoxious, whiny, undesirables from other parts of the world who wanna be "in."

Scientology: The Great Fuck-Off

2011-08-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

Just *how* did I end up on Scientology's telemarketing list? I've been on their hit list for some time, and I can't figure out why. The scientologists have been harassing me via snail mail campaigns, and now telephone. Hey, I never even *kissed* John Travolta or Tom Cruise.

Imagine this.... you've all been there.... you're home minding your own business. The telephone rings. It's an area code you recognize, but not exactly sure who it is. It could possibly be your cousin informing you of the family reunion plans. You answer the phone. Shit. It's some ass pushing their religion/cause/whatever.

Enter my inspiration for blog material. My son is now home for the first time on military leave. He has no tolerance for crap. My son anwers the phone. The conversation went something like this:

Son: Hello? Who is this?
Annoying Scietologist (A.S.): May we speak with G?

Son: What is this pertaining to?
AS: I am with the Church of Scientology.

Son: Take us off your soliciting list. We don't want your brainwashing bullshit. STFU and GTFO!! Hail Anonymous!!!!!

At that point son confidently hung up the phone and went about ironing his uniform saying that I would not hear from them anymore.

Welcome home....

Independent Audit

2011-08-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

I read again about another entity that has been ripped off by its own employees. Here's a wake up call to all employers -- chances are your employees ARE really ripping you off. WHY are they ripping you off? The answers are as varied as the types of rip-off involved. Still, the ultimate responsibility is the governing board and chances are none of the board members actually take the time required to properly oversee what's really hapenning on a day to day basis (much like our government). This is where money mismanagement runs amok with everybody involved, but nobody is ever personally responsible.

So, the board (or governing body or business) delegates their fiscal responsibility by hiring an "independent auditor" to do what they should be doing themselves. The problem now is that the hired 'independent auditor' has NO clue to the true operations and dares not ask for fear of looking stupid and incompetent. The 'independent auditor' prostitutes himself by slapping a seal of approval on a pile of shit he does not understand and other management lies. Chances are in the 'independent auditor''s' favor the findings will not get challenged. Talk about gambling.

On the otherhand, the ethical auditor renders true reports to his findings, and asks questions that may appear stupid on the surface. Chances are that the ethical auditor points out areas of weakness and problems. The governing board does not want to deal with potential problems, so the ethical auditor gets fired because the 'board' is not being told what they want to hear. A new 'independent auditor' then gets hired to gloss over gross mismanagement and render an 'official' report that all is well.

Everybody is happy until shit hits the fan. Now it's the blame game. Apply same principle to our any large pool of money or government agency. The truth tellers get silenced and banished.

Guest Entry from M: Why Facebook Makes Me Gag!!!!

2011-08-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

My Minnesota friends and I all have a morbid facination with Facebook. It's so easy to get material there and just have a field day with it. My Minnesota homies and I all have a mutual friend named "S" and we all befriended "S" because of her sibling, who was in our graduating class.

The five words or less version is that "S" is full of herself and has a doting boyfriend who posts gag worthy posts on her wall. Here is the low-down as submitted by my Minnesota friend, M. Here goes:

"S" is a running joke in our household. We also had a lot of laughs at her expense at T's cabin. The phoney ass sapville dialogue that goes on between her and her "MetroSexual" boyfriend, G, is enough to gag a maggot. She must befriend every cashier, waiter, waitress and stranger she encounters. She has something like 4900 Facebook Friends. I can't defriend her because her pictures bring me such laughter. I feel sorry for her children, because she seems to spend so much time preparing herself for a trip to the gas station, when is there time for them?? But she is Super Mom and will tell everyone so. Here is one of the latest love notes from her "Knight and Shining Armour"------ -Good morning sexy. Babe roses of pink grow in my heart & they will never wither because they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think of u' think of this as u look @ those pretty in pink like u roses. They r in fulll bloom like my lov 4 u. :) Hav a good day. Let's start saving 4 our next get away.. :) lov u! Xoxoxo~ g .

M went on to say....If "J" posted something that nauseating on my FB page I'd make him an appointment for the nut cottage.

Touche, M.... and that's why I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Door-to-Door

2011-08-10T20:19:00.001-07:00

Please, PLEASE don't ring my doorbell selling anything. I'm happy with my religion, my vacuum cleaner works, and I really would rather not be annoyed. I'm just sitting home minding my own business. I suggest you do the same.

Theft Proof Car: The CleoTaurus

2011-08-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Introducing the theft-proof CleoTaurus. It's small, pink, and male thieves would not be able to find it if given a map.

Thanks, FlyWriter for the joke some time ago. The visual just happened to come around today;) Love ya!!!

Thanks, Kid

2011-07-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

Since you've been gone I've lost my number one source for blog material. I miss your wit, humor, and intellegence. Your random rants are missing. Nobody rants quite like you.

Can't wait to get you home.

xxoo
mom

Hooters in Rohnert Park

2011-06-26T18:57:00.001-07:00

OMG!!!!! Rohnert Park has FINALLY differentiated itself from the 'fat pack' by granting permission for the tacky Hooters restaurant chain a business home. Well.... kind of......

To quote the paper it was stated by Rohnert Park officials, "Well, if Hooters wants to be here we should grant any and every business an opportunity to raise tax revenue. We're broke."

Loosely translated, "Well, let's allow another low-quality chain restaurant exploiting young women because we need the money."

Rohnert Park Officials: You truly are PIMPS. Isn't selling sex and the likeness prostitution?
Don't tell me that it's a family atmosphere and that the food is outstanding. I've been to Hooters. The food sucks. I should not be surprised by the attitude of Rohnert Park officials, as there really is not a difference between prostitution and politics.

Rohnert Park should begin by cleaning up the "massage with a happy ending" establishments that are advertisied on My Little Red Book and Craigslist...

Scuzzy, scuzzy, sleazy.....

Hey, I want to open a car wash featuring scantily clad women in bikinis....according to Rohnert Park this is a legitimate buiness model. I think I would get rich quickly as I'm sure scores of horny men will line up around the corner raking in TONS of tax revenue. Can I open it in Rohnert Park?

Wait a minute.... I have a better idea. I think I will open a restaraunt called "Dick's" it will feature the same crappy food (I'll use the same food as Hooters) and only hire men with certain "package" sizes, ages, and body types. The uniform will be tight fitting shorts to show off every bulge.

But, hey.... it's all about the wings, right?

Get Legal in Sacramento! Medical Marijuana

2011-06-26T16:18:00.001-07:00

Hey, it's getting easier and easier to get your "green card" in California. I just could not stop laughing when I saw this and had to take a picture of it.

Jumpin' Jesus in Stockton

2011-06-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

Stockton, California has to be one of the scariest places on earth -- even in the daylight. The city is full of depressed, meth addicts who are down and out from the lousy economy. Businesses that were obviously once thriving are now boarded up. Graffitti proliferates walls, and you can't even go and get a sandwich without somebody following you inside begging for money or trying to sell their 'chit' to you. This place reeks of desperation. Too bad, as there are some really beautiful old buildings with graceful architecture obviously from an era long, LONG gone by. Chain link fences with blown trash up along the sides encompassing empty buildings sit side-by-side to potential historical magnifigance. During my stay in Stockton, I have never been approached by so many beggars in my life (including San Francisco). Every street corner was a freak show. One corner featured a black s/he wearing a turban with a stuffed animial attached donning a black dress. Say WHAT????

Which leads me to jumping Jesus. It was Saturday evening and we had a Taco Bell munchie attack. We get in the car and drive a little ways down the road. We sight our Taco Bell and drive in to place our order. When pulling up to the drive-thru menu a Jesus-looking homeless guy JUMPS at us from behind the drive thru menu begging, "Hey man, can you score me a burrito? I have money."

Ambushed by Jesus at the Taco Bell drive through....

Roll up your windows QUICKLY and get the hell out of here (sorry Jesus).